AlexM123 Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 Hello everyone! Was going to post this in my thread but think it's appropriate for a new one. I'll try to only post what's important... Been struggling with this one a lot recently. So I've been in NC for about a month and this is definitely the best I've felt since the breakup, but at the same time I unfortunately can't say I'm 100% over it (maybe 90%). I know this because if I were to see a picture of her my heart would race, if somehow I found out she's having sex with her new bf I'd probably go into a deep depression, and there's certain shows/songs I can't listen to. To me moved on meant that nothing they can say/do will have any impact on me. Maybe I'm being naive but I feel that even years from now if I see her with someone else it'll hurt. Question is... Am I delaying me from completely moving on by thinking like this? It's a big shot to my ego that I have to have her blocked on everything and feels like she's "winning" the breakup. What is everyone's definition of being fully moved on? Thanks everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Hello everyone! Was going to post this in my thread but think it's appropriate for a new one. I'll try to only post what's important... Been struggling with this one a lot recently. So I've been in NC for about a month and this is definitely the best I've felt since the breakup, but at the same time I unfortunately can't say I'm 100% over it (maybe 90%). I know this because if I were to see a picture of her my heart would race, if somehow I found out she's having sex with her new bf I'd probably go into a deep depression, and there's certain shows/songs I can't listen to. To me moved on meant that nothing they can say/do will have any impact on me. Maybe I'm being naive but I feel that even years from now if I see her with someone else it'll hurt. Question is... Am I delaying me from completely moving on by thinking like this? It's a big shot to my ego that I have to have her blocked on everything and feels like she's "winning" the breakup. What is everyone's definition of being fully moved on? Thanks everyone Dude you and me both. I think you articulated our plight really well for those that are let go or to put it colloquially *dumped*.. I can relate to this and thank God it's not only me that feels this way. To be honest I think this feeling last for a very long time in my experience. I blocked an ex from a relationship I had 7 yrs ago. The other day I decided to unblock I was just curious and to see her smiling looking happy n successful still sting. She cheated so its like how do people like her get away wth bad behaviour? But then I realised fb can be such a facade. Just because someone's smiling in a photo we don't really know what's going on. Rejection has to be the most challenging emotional experience to go thru worst then when a loved one dies. There's just so much more to deal wth. So to answer ur question yes it's normal the pain gets taken out of the equation meaning if u see them wth there new bf etc it doesn't hurt anymore over time. Aftrr about 15 or so yrs in my experience then this feeling totally disappears man that's a long time for a another person to have that kind of impact on u Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I think for most people, exes really do become just another face in the crowd with enough passing of time. I was just on IG and saw an ex posting some cute pics with her boyfriend during one of those very Instagramable adventures. It didn't bother me at all. Mind you, years ago, even thinking about her with another guy made me shake. Life goes on if you allow it to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I think for most people, exes really do become just another face in the crowd with enough passing of time. This statement makes me sad. But at the same time, I know this is what I want to feel and what I know I eventually will. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I think it depends on whether you really loved your ex or not. If you really loved them while you can not have active romantic feelings for them, you'd still care for their well being. Although what a lot of us have is attachment to the person which feels like drug addiction. That attachment is where we feel horrible and get hurt when they are with other people. That's not to say that you can't move on and and still love your ex, but you have to get over the attachment to them first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexM123 Posted April 23, 2017 Author Share Posted April 23, 2017 Appreciate the response everyone!! Breakups themselves suck and knowing they've moved on already just adds onto the fire. As for the love part, I don't even know anymore. I never even met the girl in person and as many here have told me it's pretty much impossible to do that. I'll admit I definitely was attached to her and put her (mainly her looks) on a pedestal that I'm still working on taking her off. Right now I'm just waiting for the day that Blanco stated to where seeing or thinking about my ex with someone else wont bother me. After that my life will be 100x better!! Thanks again everyone LS always helps Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Here is where I differ from most on LS. The term MOVING ON. Most on here refer to it as the process of working towards indifference. I however do not believe in total indifference, if you at one point deeply cared for someone. To me MOVING ON is the process of co-existing your negative past with a more hopeful and promising future. After a while you get better at carrying more trailers of baggage behind you and you sort of accept it as a part of life. The scar is still there and will always be there but it does not need to be re-opened. Many on here brag about achieving indifference with all exes (MightyCPA comes to mind) yet posters like him also admit they would put 10 locks on their door if their Ex came knocking on the door. It's an out of sight, out of mind thing. That's doesn't mean you would feel that way if they were standing right in front of you. The only exes I can say I feel somewhat indifferent about are those who to be honest I was never in love with. But even with them I'm not totally indifferent. For instance, with some of them, I sort of wish I had never strung them along and due to that life lesson, they still impact me in some way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I think for most people, exes really do become just another face in the crowd with enough passing of time. Yeh right. Pull the other one Link to post Share on other sites
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