Said something terrible after she broke my heart

[AdamAnt1985]

I was dating this girl for over 6 months and everything seemed great. Her aunt always told me how happy I made her and I could see it on her face when we went out. Then one day out of the blue, she broke up with me. I have a gut feeling she cheated on me, but I don't honestly know if the gut feeling is true, but I don't know that it's not. I was completely taken by surprise that she was ending it when it all seemed great, and she did it by text no less; which is even worse. It's like she was hiding something. But I was dealing with it pretty well for about two weeks, then I got black out drunk and said things I regret more than anything. I don't care if she cheated or not, or whatever else led to her decision, but I do hate knowing I hurt her. I tried apologizing, but I don't think she wants to hear it, which I can't really blame her. But, I would like to know how I can forgive myself for doing something totally out of character and hurting one of the only girls I have ever loved? It hurts the most knowing that I hurt someone that, at one time, I really cared about. I hate alcohol because it made me a complete jerk, and I am quitting for good because of it, but I doubt I would ever be able to make amends for this screw up. Thanks for reading and whatever advice you can give.

[Cookiesandough]

Yeah we all have said bad things we do not mean. Nothing can take back these words. You cannot unring a bell. You cannot make someone forgive or forget. You can send a letter apologizing after some time. Just one. Be sincere. No matter what someone does to us, we show our strength by not stooping

 

She may never forgive you. But send and you will have done all you can do. Perhaps the only way we can show we are truly sorry sometimes is to accept the horrible feeling of hurting someone and learning from it.

[preraph]

Well, here's the thing. If you were truly blackout drunk and don't remember what you did and did something uncharacteristic that you wouldn't do sober, then this is a true sign of alcoholism, and you will need to stop drinking to keep from ruining your own life and messing up more relationships, jobs, everything. I'm not trying to be mean, but blackout, as opposed to passing out, and not remembering and being mean when you're in that state is a sure sign of serious alcoholism. It will get worse as you get older.

 

So I think you need to take yourself to an AA meeting and stop drinking. You've already apologized to her. That's all you can do. You can't fix some things. But you can fix yourself so it doesn't happen again. I wish you the best of luck.

[AdamAnt1985]

Really sucks I said stuff I didn't mean and hurt her feelings. Could not feel worse about myself. Usually I am so nice, but alcohol started to change me, so I lam laying off. I know there isn't anything I can do to fix it and that's what hurts the most. Knowing I could never ever make it up to her at all. My apology letter was very good, or at least I think so. But that can't take away what I am apologizing for. Just been beating myself up for a couple of months about it. I hate knowing I hurt someone.