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I(24F) and my ex(27M)


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Hi~I am just a little confused about my ex.

I dated this guy roughly for about half a year few years ago.

I admit that I used him at the beginning to get another guy's, say guy B, attention without letting him aware of it.

In the end, he found it out, but eventually we made out. He was always obsessed with it, but we both tried to fix the problem that happened because of what happened at the beginning. We really loved each other, and was going to get married after graduation. We had good times and bad times. But he treated me well. I opened myself to him and he opened himself to me. He said I am the love of his life and he never felt like this before. But still he was unstable emotionally. During our early relationship, he tried to leave a few times because of that, but I begged him not to. Later on, we broke up in the end because I could not stand it any longer. Then, he begged me not to, saying that he can't live without me and admitting that he could not get over it easily and he will try harder to fix our relationship. But I thought I should stay strong and just left him. Then I contacted the guy B again and had sex with him. But that guy rejected me again, so we just stayed as friends with benefit. But then my ex found it out and went mad. He cursed me and attempted suicide a few times that he was even hospitalized for a month. That was the last thing that I heard from him. I heard about him again recently from my female friend. We all know each other because we were in the same class. She said a girl she knows just committed suicide because of him. I was shocked. I felt sorry for his loss because I was also a bit scared when I heard that he attempted suicide. But what was even more terrifying was that he went for a date with another woman on the day he heard of her suicide, without feeling any guilt or any remorse. And apparently he cheated a multiple times and was having a long-term relationship with some other girls. My female friend talked to my ex about it. He was surprised that my friend knows her. My friend then said something like 'she just committed suicide because of the pain you gave her. But I still sorry for your loss' What he replied to that was 'You don't have to feel sorry. I don't care if she dies or not. It is none of my business. Why should I feel anything when it is herself who decided to end her own life? did I force her to feel pain? no it is her who opened herself to me and decided to accept any pain that can happen out of a relationship. I told her not to do anything stupid and I don't have anything to do with it.' Then my friend said 'wow, you changed a lot..hey it is very clear that you played a big role in her suicide' He replied 'my pleasure, I learned really important lesson from her (which is me)' Then he blocked my friend. I have no idea how long he has been doing this nor how many girls he has hurt. But something certainly changed within him. My ex I used to know knew how to love someone and how to care for others. He respected woman for as they are. He was a gentleman. He did not like hurting people both intentionally and unintentionally. he was very considerate. He was a nice guy, but still very attractive. But what I heard from my friend completely shocked me. Seems he lost respect to woman and don't even care about their feelings anymore or perhaps even enjoy hurting them....Was that really because of me that he changed a lot?

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