How am I supposed to move on like this

[xrainz]

A lot of **** happened, but basically the first month after the breakup it looked like we could still get back together. Second month, I tried doing no contact a couple of times (and told her) but always broke it. Third month, she initiated no contact and deleted me off fb about a week ago. I messaged her every weekend asking to hang out. Asked her why she deleted our pictures and me off fb and she just said she wanted to distance herself more. Lots of tears, begging, and overall me just being pathetic for these past 3 months. I sent paragraphs of texts telling her how much I cared about her, thanked her for everything, said I'm sorry I couldn't be a better boyfriend, hopes she'll be happy etc. etc. etc. so many times during all of this. She got sick of it since I did it so much.

 

 

Anyways, the main problem I'm facing now is that we have Japanese class together in exactly 2 months. I've been working on myself this entire time but I have this great sense of hope that we will get together again once we are in the same class again. She also stated while we were happy, that if we ever broke up we would probably eventually get back together. I don't think she expected the pathetic mess I became after the breakup though and that alone probably would defer her from giving me another chance.

 

 

We were together for 10 months, she met my parents at 1 month, and moved in with me at about 3 months since her apartment lease ran out. We moved very quickly, and she broke up with me because things were shaky and I got too comfortable, she felt unappreciated.

 

 

We met in Japanese class 102, stayed together in 201, took a break from JPN this semester so we could go in the summer for the 301 class and also go during spring break for vacation. So we'll be in the same class if we both continue Japanese, which we are both definitely going to do and there's only 1 class of it.

 

**tl/dr**: She told me she if we ever broke up for whatever reason, she thought we would eventually get back together. We have a class together again next semester that we can't avoid. I became a mess after the breakup (chased her for 3 months) which may have pushed her away completely but I still have a lot of hope. How the **** am I supposed to move on like this? It's been 3 months exactly after tonight and I still ****ing cry.

[ExpatInItaly]

It sounds like this relationship moved at warp speed and burned out quickly. Moving in at 3 months, whatever the circumstances, is just too soon. Moot now, but keep to a more steady and healthy pace in the future.

 

Even though it's been three months since she broke it off, you haven't really begun healing because you were still contacting her and trying to find ways to get her attention.

 

If you maintain strict No Contact from now until your class begins, you might you are in a very different place emotionally when you actually have to see her again. You might be further along in your healing and find it's not as terrible as you expected.

 

For your own benefit, don't tell yourself that you will reconcile just because you have a class together. Tell yourself instead that you will have built up mental strength and have emotionally detached more by that time. It won't be easy, of course. I wouldn't want to have to take a class with an ex either. But take this time right now to really detach so you won't be as fragile when class begins.