Weird things going on with an ex...

[Aurora_227]

Hi everyone! I have posted here recently, but had an update I wanted to share. Long story short, I ended a relationship (of over a year) a few months ago with someone I cared about because we were incompatible and I couldn't trust him (found out he had possibly cheated/lied to cover up things).

 

Shortly after, the guy I dated before popped back up on social media (24/M, though we were 22 at the time). He started liking things on Facebook (still is), watching some of my things on Snapchat, and sent a few texts. Nothing major, but definitely a noticeable change. It was his first relationship (lasted over a year) and he ended it because he felt there wasn't a spark/we didn't connect on the level he wanted, though we were best friends and he was adamant about wanting to remain so. He was also very upset about the breakup (I had to comfort him while he was breaking up with me). I wasn't ready to be friends, but I respected his reasons for the breakup even though I didn't want it and I moved on.

 

Recently, he asked my roommate out (as friends, she has a boyfriend) to catch up, which was pretty unusual as that's not something they do. She helped us both through our breakup. At first we thought (my roommate's boyfriend also agreed) he was trying to see if he could rekindle something because the timing of everything was so odd, but she now believes he wants to be friends. She said he didn't really fish for any details on me, though I did come up a few times during the conversation. I'm working on accepting this because I do trust her judgment; it's just that it still seems weird.

 

I was talking to another friend and he told me he had spoken with the ex about a week ago, around the time my roommate had dinner with him. The ex noticed that the friend and I had been cutting up on facebook (sharing jokes) and the ex said he never really understood my puns. Then he told the friend we should have met first...which we both found really weird and a little awkward, as we live states apart and are very clearly friends. We would never date.

 

Should I just chalk this up to him being a little awkward about not knowing how to be friends with exes, as I was his first girlfriend? It just seems bizarre, and I know he can be awkward (no offense to anyone, but he's a nice, awkward engineer! haha). He could very well just be determined to be friends and have things go back to the way they were (as friends). I'll be honest and say I don't think I'm ready to be friends (there are still some feelings there) and will tell him so if I am asked. After today I'm pushing it out of my head because I don't have time (nor should I spend any more energy) to figure this out - I just know I'll be seeing him again soon so I'm trying to be a little more understanding and can maybe be ready for any awkwardness. Thanks!

[Toodaloo]

Sounds normal to me. It is awkward for a bit after a break up and its clear he cares about you but I see nothing that would make me think he wants to get back together with you.

 

Just give it time. Eventually it all slots into place somehow.

[Aurora_227]

Sounds normal to me. It is awkward for a bit after a break up and its clear he cares about you but I see nothing that would make me think he wants to get back together with you.

 

Just give it time. Eventually it all slots into place somehow.

 

Yeah, I know he cares about me a lot. He was worried after the breakup that we wouldnt stay close friends and even went so far as to say that any girl he dated would habe to be okay with us being friends (which of course, she doesn't and I told him so.) I think him popping up right after a really tough breakup opened up a wound I thought had healed...I'm ashamed to say I got my hopes up that he was maybe interested in patching things up and trying again since he hasn't dated anyone long-term in the meantime.