First Love Breakup

[ktyrts]

Here it goes:

 

My ex-girlfriend and I were in a relationship for 6 months. 3 of those were during the summer and they were the best 3 months of my life. We immediately fell in love and I have never felt closer to another person in my life. We also quickly became best friends, we shared everything and told each other everything. I should mention this was my first relationship and I had never been close to anyone, not even my family. So I opened up for her really fast. This was her 4th or 5th relationship but none of them lasted this long and they never resulted in falling in love. She was the first person I wanted to talk to each morning and the last person I wanted to see at night. That summer was heaven. Then I moved 1000 miles, cross-country to college and she stayed near our hometown for school.

 

Things were great for the first 3 months. We texted non-stop every day, snapchated constantly and facetimed 4-5 times a day. (I know this is a lot of contact but that’s how close we were). I visited her after 3 months of LD and that weekend was amazing, just like the summer. The weeks after my visit were fine too. A few days ago she stopped texting me. We didn’t facetime or anything. It was very odd. Then she called me over facetime, she wasn’t happy to see me or anything, she seemed cold. She said she was ending it. I asked her why and she said she wasn’t the type of girl to be in a relationship and that it was my own fault for trapping her in this. She said she needed to grow as a woman first. I said I understood that but again asked why so sudden. She said it wasn’t sudden, she has regretted our relationship from the start. She said she didn't love me and never did and she doesn’t feel anything for me. She then said goodbye and hung up. Not 15 minutes later I was gone without a trace from every single of her social media accounts. I'm also pretty sure she blocked my number.

 

A few things made me mad that day. 1. She did it so cold. She had always said she loved me and that I was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now she says she never felt anything for me. 2. It was 12 days before I was coming home for a 10-day visit and even though she knew that, she refused to wait until then and said she didn't want to see me (we have been counting down that visit for a while and even planned it all out). 3. It came at the worst time possible. I have been struggling at my new school since the start. I have literally no friends here. I am alone 24/7. She was the only human I talked to all day. But even then I made sure to give her space to be with friends and alone time. I have been depressed for a while and she was my happiness. She knows this so I had hoped she would keep in contact. We were best friends; I didn’t want to lose that. She had even gotten mad at me in the past when we had talked about what would happen if we broke up. I thought the best thing would be NC but she said she couldn’t do that; I was still her best friend. So for her to break up with me and then immediately cut me out of her life seems harsh.

 

I guess I just don’t know what to do. I still love her and not talking to her is destroying me. I’m astonished how quickly she cut me out and how cold she was in doing so. I’m going home for thanksgiving in a week and a half and I was supposed to spend it with her. I thought about trying to meet up and talk but the way she did all of this makes me think she wants nothing to do with me. I’m scared I won’t ever see her again, I’m not sure I can handle that. What do I do? Any advice helps, honestly I just needed to tell this to someone because I have no one else in my life right now.

[Sunnymae]

First of all, my heart goes out to you. From what you describe, she sounds like a narcissist. Long run her leaving you is in your best interest.

 

When you get back, make sure to go out with close friends, especially the ones that make you laugh. Exercising will also release endorphins that will relieve the pain associated with this breakup.

 

This woman is not your life partner, nor was she a genuine friend. Good riddance!

 

Sure, I understand you'll miss texting her, daily communications, and whatnot.

Now you can start doing things for yourself. Building muscle, running, get a part time job, etc. Just see it as an opportunity or impetus for you to pursue friendships at your school when you go back.

 

I know rejection hurts. But you really deserve better.

[ktyrts]

Thank you for the advice. I am realizing the energy I put into her I should be putting in myself and I plan to. After all, anyone that can cut you out of their life that easily doesn't deserve any loving. I know this was for the best in the long run, I guess my pain right now is hiding that.