Your opinion on this breakup

[Mandarinos]

I would like some opinions.

 

We were in a relationship for 3,5 years, lived together for 2. I'm 22, she's 21.

 

About a month ago we had a small arguement, I moved out for a few days to cool things down a bit. But by the time I came back, she had packed all of her stuff and moved out.

 

We met the next day and agreed to a timeout, it was mutual - I needed time, she needed time.

 

During that period, we talked on the first few days - she had to run to work suddenly when we met to talk about that timeout so the same night I asked her if she had gotten home safely (to her parents place). And a few nights later I texted something that imo was romantic but whatever.

 

After that, about a week later, a friend of mine got my phone when we were having a party and he sent her some random smileys, to what she also replied with a smiley. But I ended up sending her "sorry, left my phone unattended".

 

Anyway, I took a vacation for a week, flew away. When I was on the vacation, she texted me "Hi-hi, how's the trip?" To which I replied "It was raining for a few days but now the sun came up and I can enjoy it", also asked her how she's been and to which she replied: "quietly", and "work - university". After that I said nothing as I was already drunk and didn't want to stir things up.

 

Another week later, we met at an event where she hugged me and also asked how the trip was etc and I said it was warm. She also wanted to meet the next day to give me my stuff back but I told her I'd call her next week.

 

After that event, a few days later, she posted on FB that she had moved to another town (which was logical - she needed a place to stay - being at friends and family for a month was out of the question as she has long working days and after long days she couldn't get back to her parents place. And the dorms here are full and the rent prices here are high - almost her whole salary).

 

Anyway, the day after she posted it, I called her and tried to set up a meeting which was a mayor PIA as she was at another town and had an off week from University and work. So eventually we agreed to meet on Sunday - at her workplace for lunch. But my plans changed and I went to my homeplace, near that town, so I called her and we met on Saturday. We didn't go out, we just met outside of her new place and talked.

 

I told her: "The past month has given me a lot, I've learned from my mistakes and got some clarity in my life back. I also said that I love you and want to try again but it takes two people to do that. To which she replied: "I'm not ready for relationships, I need to live for myself and enjoy living alone". She said that we'll meet at University sometimes and we should keep it mature and not ignore eachother - I told her: "For me it's all or nothing, you either want to be in a relationship with me or not talk to you. If you change your mind, let me know, but I'll be moving on with my life". I gave her her stuff, hugged her for the last time and drove away.

 

So... now it's the no contact period pretty much all over again. It's driving me crazy but I had kind of known it'd end like this. I had already started working out a lot, running etc and spent a lot of time with friends and family.

 

I also, just for fun, asked another random girl out, to which she said "no" but a few hours later that new girl somehow found me on facebook. It'll keep my mind off, and It's good to know I have other options but I really do want her back in my life again. We had an awesome relationship, we rarely fought and we were like best friends at times. The only thing that I worry about is that it all started going a bit downhill when she rekindled her friendship with an old girl friend of hers and feel like she's been a bit of a snake for the whole period.

 

So what are your opinions, I'd like some neutral ones.

Edited November 4, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ExpatInItaly]

A couple of points to clarify:

 

What was this small argument about?

 

If it was small, why did you take the extreme measure of moving out for a few days? That seems quite drastic and it's not an effective way to solve a problem.

 

Based on what she has said most recently, she is done. She is enjoying being single and doesn't want any hard feelings between you two, but it's over.

[Mandarinos]

Well,

 

The arguement involved I had found out she let other guys flirt with her but she didn't really say much back to them.. I was sick (fever etc, didn't even have balance) and I logged into her FB, which I really never ever do but idk what was going on in my mind. And I told her that I did it and suggested the "pause" thing.

 

Anyway.. Life is life. I'm moving on, can't dwell around like a madman. I won't search for contact.

[Robert]

[moderator bump ~6]