Struggling with no contact after ex deleted me on social media

[poseidonblu]

I was dating a girl that was basically everything I had always hoped to find in a woman. We didn't date long, but things progressed very rapidly. We spent every weekend together, texted every day, called a few times per week, etc.we had such a good time together and everything seemed great. But then one morning I woke up at her place and she seemed very different out of the blue.

 

We met up a couple days later to talk and she informed me that she was unsure about getting into a committed relationship and strong feelings were starting to form too quickly. She mentioned that she is young and had only been out of a relationship for a short time and that she felt like she wanted to be single and do things on her own without a man for awhile, and to do some traveling. I honestly just thought it was bull**** and just sounded like an excuse and to put it nicely to me. But I told her I respect that. It's not what I want, but I would give her space, but that I wasn't interested in being friends, and that if she changed her mind, she knows where to find me.

 

I immediately started no contact. It was difficult for me to see her on social media doing things like taking weekend trips without me, but I maintained. 3 weeks later it was her bday. I said nothing to her. 3 days after that, it was my bday and she texted me happy birthday and that she hoped I was doing well. So I thought to myself, Hmm maybe no contact is working. I hadn't said anything to her, not even happy bday, but she contacted me after. I didn't know what to do. There are different versions of no contact out there. One way is to completely ignore your ex, and another is to only contact if they contact first not to be rude, but also not engaging in pointless conversation. So i waited until the next morning and I replied with a simple response. "Thank you! Good to hear from you. Happy belated to you too. Gotta run. Big beach weekend!" She later wrote me to have fun with the blushing smiling emoji. I did not respond to that text.

 

About a day later I went to check to see what she had been doing and noticed that she deleted me from social media! I was feeling such a mix of emotions. I was sad. I was angry. I was confused. I wanted to text her right away and ask her why she did that! I couldn't understand why one second of the day we were still friends and she was wishing me a happy bday, and the next day she deleted me. I thought, was it because I didn't respond to her? Did I mess up by not continuing to communicate?mso many thoughts ran through my head.

 

I asked a few girlfriends of mine what the deal was and I was informed that it could have been a couple things. 1) she didn't want to see my status updates anymore and how happy I was continuing my life without her. 2) that she deleted me because she is feeling the loss now and wanted to provoke an emotional response out of me. 3) both

 

So I really don't know the reason but it hurt so badly to see that she deleted me and I've been tempted to contact her, but I'm trying so hard to keep maintaining and continuing the no contact. I don't know what to do. Help!

[heartbrokenlady]

I don't know either, really. But I've just deleted my ex from social media.

 

I didn't want to keep being hurt by seeing his posts coming up. It just made it harder.

[JewelD]

There's also 4. she's not interested in you and has decided to move on.

 

I've only heard of one type of no contact, and that's not contacting the person and making it damn near impossible for them to contact you.

 

You weren't doing no contact, you were just waiting around for her to text you so you could text her back. It's possible she just sent that text to see if you were still on the line. You replying to her, whether it was 2 hours or 2 days later, shows her that you are indeed still on the line and she can continue to yank the chain as she pleases with a guaranteed response from you.

 

You told her you didn't want to be friends so why are you confused about thinking you were happy and friends and then finding out you're not? You're giving her way too much power over you.

 

Move on. she deleted you, good, block her on social media and your phone so you won't have to worry about her feeding you breadcrumbs every now and then when shes bored.

[Frozensushi]

I know how it feels to get blocked on Social Media. Your Ex now has the upper hand and there's nothing you can do about it. Their silence hurts far worse than anything she could say.

 

I wouldn't try to make contact unless she does, and I wouldn't try to work things out unless she initiates it. I made this mistake over and over with my Ex. It makes the pain and hurt last so much longer than should be required. Save yourself some grief and don't play these games.

[aloneinaz]

Or number 6-

 

She's starting to date someone new and doesn't want you to see it on social media to stir drama with you since you knows she still has her hooks in you.

 

Listen, you said it yourself. You didn't date her long as she didn't feel it with you and feed you the usual BS lines in doing so. Be glad you didn't date her longer.

 

At this point, who gives a heck what she's doing or who she's doing it with. The thing you need to remind yourself is she ended it with you. It's happened to all of us. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.

 

Now you need to do the real NC. No spying on social media, delete her phone number and block it. Out of sight, out of mind. Heal from it and get back on the dating horse and find some hot new thing that you connect with.

[preraph]

No contact doesn't involved lurking and that's what you were doing. You can't be friends and get over her at the same time while you're this invested and getting feelings hurt and panicking because you can't monitor what she's doing. If I were her, I'd block you so you can't see what I'm up to or make something out of it if I'm not up to anything or try to intercept me.

 

Leave it alone. Block her too and stop focusing on her! You have to stop engaging with her and focusing on her to move on. Good luck. Go be with friends and stay busy doing things you enjoy.

[poseidonblu]

Thank you everyone for your honest replies. This definitely helps

[Broken2016]

My ex deleted me off all social media due to him finding someone else. I'm guessing he didn't want me or anyone close to me to see or get involved in the new relationship as he also deleted my friends and family from his account. It was only shortly after our break up that he was involved with her so I guess there was a sense of guilt, maybe. Of course, though, there could be many reasons why she removed you off social media. Just thought I would share my experience. It could be that she believes that breaking up is the way forward so doesn't want any reminders, so not seeing you pop up on social media would help her stick to that decision.