Lessons learned

[Been]

This forum was a big help to me an I wanted to return the help with something I learned.

 

1.Once a cheater always a cheater is no always true. People can and do change. But if someone Cheats on YOU that saying will apply to you. No matter how hard you try to put it behind you it will always linger in the background. Your boyfriend/girlfriend killed the trust factor when they cheated. They committed one of the worst things you can do to someone. And you basically trying to forgive it is like saying its OK to do that to you. And also once they cross that line they have shown what they are capable of doing. Don't sell yourself short.

 

2.A relationship is not always up and down. Sure your have good times and bad times but it shouldn't always be up and down. If your relationship is always requiring too much work just to stay together it isn't worth it. You will eventually become exhausted trying to stabilize the relationship.

 

3.Trust your gut. Its there to protect you.And no its not always right but ask yourself how many times its been wrong. Usually your gut instinct is pretty close.

 

4.You'll ask all your friends/family what you should do-break up/stay together. And you'll ask them the same question a million times in a million different ways. And deep down you yourself already know the answer. Dont over think things.

 

5.At first when you break up you'll doubt yourself. Find something to occupy yourself. ANYTHiNG. But make sure its something that will benefit you.

 

6.Don't have any contact with your ex girlfriend/boyfriend. It will only make the pain/sadness last longer. And don't Try to get the better of them. By moving forward with your life your showing them that you don't need them in your life. And that's better then trying to gain "revenge" on them.

 

7.And the more you contact them or you allow them to contact you your just basically showing them how weak you are. It won't seem like it but trust me on this.

 

Hope this helps. If I remember anything else I'll post it.

[preraph]

Wise words. Once someone cheats, you can never trust them again. At that point their problem becomes your trust issues and then they resent you for that. It's lose/lose.

 

And yes, if it's not mostly fun, it's not worth it.