Broke up with ex due to a big fight.

[arnold1841]

Hi there. Firstly I would like to apologize for my bad grammar, hope you guys can cope with it.

 

Just recently (1 month), I broke up with my ex, who is a kind, beautiful, independent girl. We been dating a year and on the 2nd day of our anniversary we broke up. The night before we broke up, we have a big fight, after our dinner one of my friend were having some troubles with his life, and I went to meet him and try to help out with his matter. And on that day we had some beers and share our thought, and we had alot of beers till all of us are a bit tipsy. When we decided to go back it's already 3am and there's our fight begun.

 

Me and my ex are staying together. So First thing is I apologize to her that I came back late and and told her that what my friend been going through and how I wanted to help him in his life. Right after that she was upset and say that she doesn't want to talk about it and started talking rudely. And then I started asking her why do you talk to me like this while I was calm and just sharing what my friend going through. During the conversation I started to raise my voice, I said "when I'm asking you a question why don't you answer and insisting on arguing" that time I admit I'm drunk, and I also asked her to record it down, after our argument she went our and stayed with her friend. I woke up a little that time, I know the mistake that I done. I went out and look for her, but couldn't see her anywhere.

 

The next morning I went to her work place seeing her there, she told me that she don't want this anymore, she wants to break up with me she say is unsafe with me and she said that she is afraid that I'll hit her in the future. I told her I regret everything I done, I begged her, kneel on her asking for forgiveness and another chance to fix this matter, but insisted on breaking up. I felt devastated for not knowing what to do anymore. I called up my mother and talked to her, asking for opinion what should I do to r back in my life. She just told me to give her some space, and talk to her after everything had cool down. She went out of town after we broke up that day. And that time I was also thought that this might be a good time for her to cool down before talking to her.

 

After a week, I called her out for a meet up, before even I called her out I been planning for this day for the whole week. And she say that she wants to talk about it. I was happy at first. And waiting for that day to come.

 

When we meet up, I felt something is different and I asked her what's wrong. And she just told me, why did I tell our problems to my mother, and she told me that my mother called her up and scold her very rudely, saying that both of us are not meant to be together and that's the reason we broke up and asking back the money I loan from my mother with INTEREST! I was shocked when I heard all of this, and think why did my mother do this. She just told me that now things already happen like this, it's hard to be together again. She just told me that we'll see how it goes.

 

In this 3 weeks I was missing her badly, and kept on blaming myself for all the things that happened and trying to seek advice from friends what should I do to get her back, but most of them say that is not worth going back with her for the things I do for her all this while, most of them ask me to move on. But I still love her and I know all of this happened because of my own mistake, and I really would like to fix it, just for 1 reason, which is I love her.

 

Till last week, I asked one of her friends how is she, is she OK, she said that she is fine and going on with her life, along with the conversation with her friend I could resist from asking her do I stand a chance to get back with her again, she just told me that my ex say there is 0 chances of getting back together. The main reason is she said that my mother is too involved with our problems, very hard for us to turn back.

 

I ask her the same thing the next day, and she told me the same thing "right now in this situation yes, it's impossible for us, we should just be friends". Somehow I couldn't accept that we have to be friend, and we couldn't be together anymore, I told her that I'm sorry for all that happened, I told her that no matter how hard is it I'll fix everything back to normal again, I also told her that I'll prove to her parents that I won't do this anymore and I just need once last chance from you, I told her that i understand that we can't be together with me right now, and all I want that just wait for me to change everything just give me another chance. I just say that please don't leave me alone and I'm sorry for everything... She told me try to prove it to our parents but by the meanwhile we are just friends.

 

People say that time heals, just the matter of how long does it take to heal that wound, my is getting worst day by day, couldn't concentrate on everything I'm doing, feeling depress and one point of time I couldn't find the point for going on with life.

 

Guys, what should I do to get her back. I really love her, she's my everything, she my motive of staying on. But I'm afraid that she'll be taken away from others, as I'm not perfect. I just want to be with her again and hold her in my arms till the end of my life.

[PegNosePete]

There is nothing you can do to "get her back". She does have a choice, you know! You can't mind-control someone into loving you! And she has chosen to end the relationship.

 

The best thing you can do is walk away. Go NC and heal from the pain. Don't try to be "friends", that is just going to make things worse.

[Bee4Shine]

Find a way to move on friend. Also, keep the details of your relationship positive with your mom if she is the type to get involved. Learn to have good boundaries.