JustDreaming Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Long story short: ExFiance cheated on me multiple times with multiple partners and ended up pregnant with another guys child. Its day 3 of no contact for me, does it get easier? I feel like, given what happened in my relationship, that I should be more angry than I am. Sometimes I don't feel like I hate her enough to play the NC game and even though I wouldn't myself go out of my way to contact her, I wouldn't just not respond if she contacted me. I feel like I don't have that "hate" in my body to just ignore. Even though it probably would be for the best. Part of me does think this NC will help in the long run, but at the same time it is just a matter of getting used to this. I'm just curious on what everyone does to make themselves stay busy? and what you do to keep your mind distracted from thinking about your ex? I've been going out with friends a lot and trying to keep my social agenda busy, but when I am home or not busy...is when things are the hardest. I guess she realizes I have went NC, and she in return has been "letting me be", part of me sometimes wishes she would reach out, but obviously there is no purpose to that. Any help would be much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 (edited) Anyone who cheats on me, even worse, cheats on me multiple times with multiple people will be erased. There is no space in my life for people that have no respect or care for me. If she ever gets in contact with you, do not respond. NC. It has nothing to do with hate or anger. Everything to do with preserving your self-respect and helping you heal and move on. Edited May 4, 2016 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Laurenjade Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Hi, first of all I'm sorry that it happened to you. I found out a fortnight ago that my ex had been messaging other women behind my back. We'd been together 5 years. He then freaked out once I asked to talk to him and went from 'I've hurt you, I can't deal with that' to 'seriously, stop calling, if you don't we're over for good!' within 2 hours and then told me he needed space. I've been NC for 12 days and man it hurts! I miss him stupidly, but I know there's no point. I started kickboxing last weekend, reading, googling completely irrelevant things and finally started watching a series on Netflix. I'm not saying it's easy, there are good days and bad days - I still wish he'd call me still, wish he'd make contact. Work is keeping me busy, I've booked hair and nail appointments and trying to concentrate on being a better me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AVeryConfusedGuy Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Quite honestly I'm shocked at how calm you are telling this. I would be completely filled with rage and hate towards her if that happened to me. She would be the person I would NEVER speak to again and would be the biggest a-hole if I bumped into her in person. I've never been cheated on before, but if I was, I would make sure that person was out of my life forever. Yes NC helps and NC is the only thing to do to move on. Really though, it might be easier for you in a way since you know that that there is NO hope on getting back together or reconciling. It's far worse to experience a breakup between 2 people who adored each other and fell apart quietly with no real explanation. That is what I'm going through. It's been 2 months NC, it's definitely easier since day one, but she's still on my mind daily. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 No contact is not a game. You responding to her if she reaches out to you is basically your way of showing you have no self respect and she can treat you however she wants with NO consequences. SHE cheated on YOU. SHE got pregnant with another man's child. Why would you want to be in contact with someone who cares so little about you????? Run far away from the girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shark23 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Man up to **** i know its hard but stick it out get over her mate 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Quite honestly I'm shocked at how calm you are telling this. I would be completely filled with rage and hate towards her if that happened to me. She would be the person I would NEVER speak to again and would be the biggest a-hole if I bumped into her in person. I've never been cheated on before, but if I was, I would make sure that person was out of my life forever. Yes NC helps and NC is the only thing to do to move on. Really though, it might be easier for you in a way since you know that that there is NO hope on getting back together or reconciling. It's far worse to experience a breakup between 2 people who adored each other and fell apart quietly with no real explanation. That is what I'm going through. It's been 2 months NC, it's definitely easier since day one, but she's still on my mind daily. ^^^ That. Trust me. That rage and hate is going to bubble up and when it hits you, it is going to hit extremely hard. Go NC with her completely and ride the waves of emotions, because they are going to be extreme. Thankfully when you come out the other side, you're gonna realize just how strong of a person you are... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 NC isn't a game, and it's got nothing to do with hate. It's something that some people do to help themselves heal. It does this in 2 ways: . 1. It prevents any more hurt being caused you by the ex. 2. It prevents you being distracted from your healing by the ex. That's all it is, and all it does. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 NC is not a game. It's a way for you to take the space to grieve without emotional triggers. The anger might come later. Link to post Share on other sites
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