Learn from my mistake.

[Been]

I had an up and down relationship with a woman who I was dating for about 2 years. She would dump me and run back to her ex. And like always it wouldn't work out so she would run back to me and I'd take her back.

This happened about 3/4 times.

The last time I went NC. Blocked her from everything. And it was hard but I had had enough of being used.

The first week was hell-I badly wanted to break NC but I didn't.

Started going to the gym a lot. Improving myself. As weeks went by I started feeling better. Still sad but it was diminished.

About a month latter their was a knock at my door. I answer it and it's HER.

I'm surprised because I haven't spoken to her in over a month. I ask her what she wants. She has a typed four page note that she says she wants to give me.

I invite her in-big mistake. She tells me how sorry she is and the whole nine yards. I eat it up.

Fast forward a month. We are back together. She wants to get married. I propose she accepts.

I give my apartment notice because she wants me to move in with her. I move my stuff in to her place. THREE days latter she changes. Cold,distant.

I ask her what's wrong. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. I push the issue. And know what she says? She doesn't want to marry me anymore!!!!

[Been]

Lessons I learned?

1.They don't change. And even if they do they can just as quickly revert back to their old ways.

2.Once trust is broken it never is fully restored. You will always be looking over your shoulder.

3.People that cheat on you don't deserve multiple chances. By taking them back you are basically telling them that it was ok.

4.When you go NC its for a reason-to move on with your life.

[LostOnes05]

Sorry you went through that. You are absolutely correct. People rarely, if ever change. That's why I know I could never get back with an ex romantically, especially one that cheated. I think down the line if they reached out I'd allow an acquaintance-type relationship at arms length. I say this because to me trust and loyalty to each other is of the utmost importance.

[Been]

You know if they reach out I think you should just ignore them esp if they did you wrong. Why would you want to hang out with someone who disrespected you?

[triple-s]

3/4 times ... and you invite her in ... well my friend, the red flags are there . im not surprised if she did that .

 

Youre a good person . I was like that too ...

 

Dont man . Learn from this . Coulda been worst . you coulda been Married , kids THEN she does that .

 

She aint the one dude . Im sure you will figure it out

[triple-s]

3.People that cheat on you don't deserve multiple chances. By taking them back you are basically telling them that it was ok.

 

she cheated on you ?

[Satu]

What's missing here is self-discipline.

[AT15]

I'm sorry. She sounds unstable. It maybe your attracted to the highs of the relationship.

[mightycpa]

It may have taken you a while to catch on, but I'll say this for you - you did.

[Been]

The sad thing is I just knew it would happen again and still I went through with it. Sometimes love can make you blind.

[2016forme]

I had an up and down relationship with a woman who I was dating for about 2 years. She would dump me and run back to her ex. And like always it wouldn't work out so she would run back to me and I'd take her back.

This happened about 3/4 times.

The last time I went NC. Blocked her from everything. And it was hard but I had had enough of being used.

The first week was hell-I badly wanted to break NC but I didn't.

Started going to the gym a lot. Improving myself. As weeks went by I started feeling better. Still sad but it was diminished.

About a month latter their was a knock at my door. I answer it and it's HER.

I'm surprised because I haven't spoken to her in over a month. I ask her what she wants. She has a typed four page note that she says she wants to give me.

I invite her in-big mistake. She tells me how sorry she is and the whole nine yards. I eat it up.

Fast forward a month. We are back together. She wants to get married. I propose she accepts.

I give my apartment notice because she wants me to move in with her. I move my stuff in to her place. THREE days latter she changes. Cold,distant.

I ask her what's wrong. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. I push the issue. And know what she says? She doesn't want to marry me anymore!!!!

 

Wow! I am so sorry that your girl backed out of your relationship.It seems like she cannot make up her mind about who she wants to be with.She is wishy-washy and flaky. You don't need to spend time with someone who is inconsistent or off again on again.

 

Psychologically, this "in and out, back and forth, she loves me she loves me not" is not healthy for you. She needs to be in your corner. And if she isn't, then it's time to clip her wings.

 

The best way to know the true meaning of the heart is through friendship. I hope that she will realize that she won't miss her water till the well runs dry.Remember, it's her loss not yours. Best of luck to you.

[Bee4Shine]

I am so sorry. After 4/5 times of this happening, it was inevitable that it would happen again. It is a pattern of her life and her behavior. I hope that you can recover once again and move on with your life. Give yourself some time, you did the right thing with NC and she came to you. It won't happen again. Serious hugs!

[Jason9]

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity, especially when it comes to cheating and taking back. It was a big mistake to not permanently remove her from your life after her complete fiasco with you and the other guy.

 

You become a stronger person when you make mistakes, because you can learn from them and know exactly what to do differently next time, at the blink of an eye, so dont feel too bad.

 

Do not under any circumstances allow her back into your life, ever, even if she says she has changed, even if she has solid evidence of it. She has burned the bridges permanently.