fcrwarmy Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 So I met my ex on eharmony. We immediately clicked and would text and Skype everyday. We have so much in common. We spoke about everything you can imagine and we were talking long term plans once we got there. I Skyped with her children who is 3 and 1. She would always say I love you, I don't want lose you and you are my forever. We live 3 hours apart. The first time we met was when I went down and met her went on our date. The second time she came up on Valentines day and we hooked up. A few weeks later I went back down there and spent a day with the kids and her. We went to the park and I later met her parents. Everything was going great until she started feeling she wasn't ready for a commitment. She is currently going through a divorce (could be settled April 19th), started her career and caring for 2 little one. We end up breaking up because I didn't give her space. We went back and forth on breaks through the month of March. The first time she I was able to get back together with her. The second time she messaged me and we went on a break. The last time she said I didn't give her space and then she broke up with me. A few days after we broke up she said, "no we won't be in a relationship" and then the next day she said, "I will be friend but idk if I can doing anything else." She also says she really cares about me I'm currently implementing the 30 day no contact and on day 6. My birthday will be on day 12. First do you think theres shot she contacts me on my birthday or during those 30 days. Also do you think I have a chance to fix this. We really only broke up because I didm't give her space and I know thats the reason. She wanted to be on a break until she got things figured out but she sent me mixed signals and didn't give her space. Do i have decent chance due to my circumstances? Sincerely Thank you in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
Author fcrwarmy Posted April 16, 2016 Author Share Posted April 16, 2016 Also the kids would say the loved me too! Link to post Share on other sites
Miss.A Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 A lot of people on this forum will tell you to forget about her and to move on, and it is going to hurt hearing those things. And (no offense to people on this site) they will all be very blunt about blocking her and never contacting her again because she dumped you. I am not here to tell you that everything will work out though. The best advice I can give you is to give her space to think and process all these feeling. Use the NC time as a way to better yourself and to improve our life, instead of one sitting around a sulking about her. I know, easier said than done. Its going to be really hard not to break and to push through, but in the end there is never a bad outcome. Either way, you improve yourself. Ether she comes back or not you win, because one scenario you might have a chance to start over with her, or you the other scenario you move on as a new and improved person that never needed her in the first place.Keep your head high and dont let other peoples words affect you too much! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fcrwarmy Posted April 16, 2016 Author Share Posted April 16, 2016 Thank you! I'm feeling a lot strong. The emotions have start to go away for the most part. Now I'm just missing her. Link to post Share on other sites
LD1990 Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 I guess I'm gonna be one of those people telling you to forget her. She throws up so many red flags it's not even funny. Look, a stable, emotionally mature woman does not tell some guy she met online, before she even meets him, "you're my forever." She doesn't talk about long term plans with him before even going on a date. And she sure as hell doesn't let a guy she has never met in person Skype with her children. This woman doesn't seem to have much in the way of boundaries, I mean you saw each other three times and she's sharing all this stuff with you? The problem didn't have anything to do with space, it's that she's emotionally unstable, hence why one second you're her forever and the next you're a guy who doesn't give her enough space. Go NC for good, don't look back, and watch out for these things in the future. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
gimlynick Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 So I met my ex on eharmony. We immediately clicked and would text and Skype everyday. We have so much in common. We spoke about everything you can imagine and we were talking long term plans once we got there. I Skyped with her children who is 3 and 1. She would always say I love you, I don't want lose you and you are my forever. We live 3 hours apart. The first time we met was when I went down and met her went on our date. The second time she came up on Valentines day and we hooked up. A few weeks later I went back down there and spent a day with the kids and her. We went to the park and I later met her parents. Everything was going great until she started feeling she wasn't ready for a commitment. She is currently going through a divorce (could be settled April 19th), started her career and caring for 2 little one. We end up breaking up because I didn't give her space. We went back and forth on breaks through the month of March. The first time she I was able to get back together with her. The second time she messaged me and we went on a break. The last time she said I didn't give her space and then she broke up with me. A few days after we broke up she said, "no we won't be in a relationship" and then the next day she said, "I will be friend but idk if I can doing anything else." She also says she really cares about me I'm currently implementing the 30 day no contact and on day 6. My birthday will be on day 12. First do you think theres shot she contacts me on my birthday or during those 30 days. Also do you think I have a chance to fix this. We really only broke up because I didm't give her space and I know thats the reason. She wanted to be on a break until she got things figured out but she sent me mixed signals and didn't give her space. Do i have decent chance due to my circumstances? Sincerely Thank you in advance! So 1) you live 3 hours away 2) you barely know her 3) she is going through a divorce 4) she just needs someone to talk to, not a relation 5) Birthdays don't matter 6) All the above that LD1990 said Dude, How can you be so emotional after a couple of months together? She needs a lot of space for a long time, she is going through a very hard time with a divorce. She hopes to find someone very quickly but she sounds kinda desperate. It's better not to have this kind of woman. Go away, this sounds ridiculous. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 She is right in the middle of the traumatic incident that is the death of her marriage. She is nowhere near ready for a relationship with you or anybody else. Take care. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AT15 Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 As woman, who has a small child AND going through a divorce, I latched on to the first attraction I experienced and called it love. I never gave myself time to grieve my marriage. I still loved my new boyfriend, but he deserved better. I deserved better. After divorce, your cloudy. Your needy. And you are looking for ways to cope. I'm nit saying she doesn't love you. I don't know. But, try to be understanding of her jerking you around. Don't take it personally is what I mean. Take care of your Self and listen to your true real feelings. Really listen to what you are feeling and don't mislabel those feelings. Missing someone is not love. Fear of being alone is not love. I hope you find your way through this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fcrwarmy Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 Thank you! I'm doing much better and you made a lot of good points. I realize all of this now and it makes complete sense. She rushed into a relationship with me. It was good before she started pulling back. She's got a lot personal stuff going on such as her divorce, kids, work and especially her health. Once I've completely moved on I want to be her friend. She going through scary situation with her health and I just want to be there for her. She isn't talking to me still and it's been a month. I've laid all my card on the table and now she must decide what best for her. My conscience is clear. Again thank you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2016forme Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 So I met my ex on eharmony. We immediately clicked and would text and Skype everyday. We have so much in common. We spoke about everything you can imagine and we were talking long term plans once we got there. I Skyped with her children who is 3 and 1. She would always say I love you, I don't want lose you and you are my forever. We live 3 hours apart. The first time we met was when I went down and met her went on our date. The second time she came up on Valentines day and we hooked up. A few weeks later I went back down there and spent a day with the kids and her. We went to the park and I later met her parents. Everything was going great until she started feeling she wasn't ready for a commitment. She is currently going through a divorce (could be settled April 19th), started her career and caring for 2 little one. We end up breaking up because I didn't give her space. We went back and forth on breaks through the month of March. The first time she I was able to get back together with her. The second time she messaged me and we went on a break. The last time she said I didn't give her space and then she broke up with me. A few days after we broke up she said, "no we won't be in a relationship" and then the next day she said, "I will be friend but idk if I can doing anything else." She also says she really cares about me I'm currently implementing the 30 day no contact and on day 6. My birthday will be on day 12. First do you think theres shot she contacts me on my birthday or during those 30 days. Also do you think I have a chance to fix this. We really only broke up because I didm't give her space and I know thats the reason. She wanted to be on a break until she got things figured out but she sent me mixed signals and didn't give her space. Do i have decent chance due to my circumstances? Sincerely Thank you in advance! I am reading your post and I can tell you right now that your former "friend" is doing like you said. ..sending mixed signals. First ask yourself if pursuing any type of relationship with this lady is really worth the time and the headache. You don't need any EXTRA heartache, mixed signals, extra baggage, she loves me...she loves me not shenanigans. . ... Tell yourself that you are gonna make it no matter what. .. As for the female"friend" , if she wants"space", I would give it to her...but it would be permanent! Since the lady cannot make up her mind, or since she is"not on the same page as you," it's a clear indicator that nothing is wrong with you! You see, it's not you, it's her! I am not trying to place the blame on anyone, but a fact is a fact. You need to be able to move on with your life and put your priorities first! This is the time for you to do some deep soul searching. You already know your ambitions and the things you truly desire from a relationship! It's time for you to move on with your life and find someone who is like minded like you! There are plenty of fish in the sea! Give yourself time! Love will find you through friendship. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fcrwarmy Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 Thank you! I have started moving on and I don't want a relationship with her due to the way she treated me. I think I treated her very well btw. Anyways the only problem I'm having now is I still care about her. It's not romantically, but she has serious health issues. I had to be sneaky to find this out but she has tumor, but idk where. She has epilepsy and she was in the hospital for 5 days to see what was wrong. I've sent her a few text just letting her know I'm here for her. She still hasn't sent me a message since March 27ish. I understand she needs space but I find it ridiculous to completely shut me out when all I want to do is to see how she is doing. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 There's no point in having a relationship that you rush into. Take time - months, at least - to get to know someone before you declare 'love' for someone. Anything faster than that is just the PEA chemicals (look it up) making you feel you 'know' something before it's really true. Especially if you have kids involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fcrwarmy Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 Yeah it's pretty pointless. We had a small back and forth and of course it's still all about her and she can't own up to what she's done. She's lost cause! Hopefully someday she can see the error in her ways, but I wouldn't hold my breath but hey she is only 21. I've learned I deserve better and all I wanted from her was egknowledgedment of what she did to me, but nope it's still all about her and twisting my words. I'm giving up the fight and going to stop wasting my time. I can be in a relationship nor be friends with the woman (girl). Thought forum I have seen she is unstable (gets angry easily) and she is really immature. I want to thank everyone on here for their posts. I'm already starting to look again. I just have to get over the fact she wronged me and completely move on with my life. Karma will get her someday and hopefully she will learn from this and have a healthy relationship someday and realize what she screwed up. Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
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