I broke up with him so why do I feel so bad?

[Tabby32]

Met a guy who seemed great, spent loads of time together for the first few months and things seemed to be going well. Ever since Christmas he has been distant, having a lot of stress with his business and too "busy" to see him. It got to the point where I couldn't ignore it any longer so I had a big talk with him and said that I was unhappy and that if things didn't change I couldn't be with him any more. He apologised, said he understood and that things would change. He has made an effort a few times but we still hardly see each other and it hurts. I called him tonight and he was distant and yet again made no plans to see me, so when I got off the phone I texted him that I'd had enough and it was over. I had such high hopes and I just feel really down now. Why, when I have made the right decision? He hasn't even responded yet which is making me feel worse. Really wish I had someone to talk to. My long term partner died 5 years ago and life has been really tough. This was the first guy I have been close to since and I just feel really let down and alone again.

[basil67]

You're sad because you're grieving what you thought it could have been. It's all about letting go of those hopes and dreams which your commonsense knows will never happen.

 

And no, you may not hear back from him. Dumping via text is a low act and doesn't deserve a response.

[Ragnar1984]

Clearly you haven't had the easiest of times, however I do feel I have to ask about the level of effort that you were putting into the relationship. You mentioned that he was having problems with his business and was extremely under pressure. Did you make the effort for him, and show your support? If not, then maybe that added to the burden that he was already carrying, trying to juggle all those aspects at once.

When you had the initial conversation with him, he took into consideration what you had said, and understood that more effort was required. And for a time he responded as such, but yet the relationship still went south. So again, was the effort all one way, as you were very clear on what you expected, yet what about your ex partner? Was he receiving the same attention that you demanded? Judging by the tactless method of finishing the relationship, I would be quick to think not, but what do I really know. Maybe you are not quite ready for the highs and lows that a relationship brings, after all you have been through. Of course you may feel lonely and it is a horrible way to live, yet if you unable to accept a person's flaws or imperfections then maybe you just need to heal within first.

And I have to agree with the last point. A dumping by text message is pretty bad!

[mightycpa]

You're unhappy because dumping him was your last resort, not your first.