Is there hope in getting back together?

[tash534]

So I was dating a guy for about three months, we clicked from the very first date. He really wanted a relationship with me making plans for us a few months in advance, not taking things too fast and it just felt right. About a month into us dating he got retrenched from his job, though he seemed on top of things, he had a plan on getting an other job and I kept my distance. I never bugged him to see me, he always made time for me when he finished his work and he even surprised me for lunch one day when I was working. Everything seemed to be going well until I went away for four weeks. When I left I didn't hold any hope of him wanting to date me, since it was still early days and I was going away for a month, but he talked to me every 2nd day over messenger while I was away and even made plans when I got back. He said that I shouldn't worry and that I still had him when I got back and that's when I got my hopes up that we will be together when I got back. He got a job while I was away too though he hates it, only doing it for the money, long hours and 6 days a week.

 

When I got back from my trip he started to act differently, very distant and his messages were cold and sometimes harsh. I asked when will I see him and he went "haha you will see me soon, we will make plans for the end of the week ok". So of course I leave it there and wait, but he never messaged me back till the end of the weekend oblivious to his previous comment on making plans with me. I tried to let it slide and just wait, but the way he was treating me, it really was hurting me, after all I believed every word he said to me before I came back from my trip. I finally asked where I stand in his life. He then messaged me back that he doesn't know where he stands himself, that this year has been a big flop for him and he can only be my friend right now and he really doesn't want me to leave his life. And if nothing happened to him this year he wouldn't be letting me go right now. He said the timing is so wrong right now and can't date right now. He did this over facebook message.

 

I of course went full on emotional since he was the one who pursued me and wanted the relationship making me think I did something wrong in the two weeks I got back. I over thought everything, I jumped to conclusions and I was a total wreck, everything you become when someone rejects you out of the blue.

 

I did all the wrong things of course after the break up, went over his place to confront him about three weeks after the initial break up, asked if he will date me again if he finally got his life back together, he said probably not. That's when I finally had the courage to delete him from all my social media accounts and implemented no contact after sending one last message apologising for my emotional state, apologised for going to his home unannounced and my constant messaging, I didn't get a reply back, I only did it to get back some of the dignity I lost.

 

I am an ok place right now, it has been over a month since no contact, I went on a date the other week and currently focusing on my own career and future, though I miss him a lot and I really want to give us a real try. We had a strong connection and so much in common, I just don't know what to do now. Most people just say be patient and wait for him to come to you, or the common saying if its meant to be its meant to be. I just don't know, has anyone been in a similar situation where a guy just pulls away like that? Have they ever come back?

[PegNosePete]

Write him off. He has told you plain as day that he doesn't want to date you. Why on earth would you want to date him after that? Where is your self respect??

 

NEXT.

[Pretty_HurtsU2]

Keeping your dignity is hard when you care about that person. I've been there. It's almost as if you don't love yourself when nothing can be further from the truth. Luckily you've only had three months with this guy...I realize the experience is still hurtful, but seems like you're on the right track, dating again & things. Hang in there.