Questions about Social Media

[anonymousbear00101100]

No Contact is not just a purposeful attempt avoid messaging your ex, but also a plan to permanently cut him or her out of your life completely. This means, no stalking your ex on social media, no going through old photos, etc.

 

I've been pretty bad at this in the three weeks since the break up. I stay strong for exactly 6 days each time, without so much as a peep at her Facebook, before I end up looking at all her profiles and sending her some dumb message that makes me look like an ass. So yeah, I'm obviously not one to talk.

 

Many people on here suggest deleting numbers and blocking on all social media outlets. I really want to avoid ever breaking NC again, but I also don't want to seem childish. I feel if I block her now, she'll know I'm not over it and kind of pathetic. I also know that blocks aren't permanent, and I could easily unblock her when I'm weak. But maybe that extra barrier is what I need.

 

I've unfollowed her on Facebook so I'll never see anything about her in my feed, but it still shows me as her friend. This is ideal! But when I'm weak, all I have to do is type in her name and there is her whole profile for me to shamefully scour.

 

So what should I do? What do you do? Should I keep it the way it is as an exercise in self control, or should I block her and come across as childish and not over it?

Edited November 29, 2015 by rjblak13

[Iceshowers]

I honestly would just delete her off Facebook and any other social media. If you have her on your phone and email, I would delete that too. Sometimes self-control isn't as strong in some people because feelings are stronger. If you constantly have a way to get a hold of her (social media, phone, email), then you will let your feelings dictate how weak you are in moving on. And I say this because my feelings usually do dictate my self control. I am someone that has reached out to ex that obviously wants nothing from me, but I couldn't help it. It only helped the more I forced myself not to talk to him or reach out to him. I forced myself to do other things and eventually started dating again. Now, he's just a faint memory and another person of the past.

 

Do yourself a favor and just delete her and find other means to help you move on. I don't see it as childish at all. She's moved on, doubt she's looking for if you have deleted or blocked her.

[lolablue17]

You are judging yourself too harshly.

 

It's OK to make mistakes, it's OK to feel bad, and to be tempted to stalk, It's OK to have that dilemma and to care about what she thinks about you.

 

BUT!!

 

It's also OK to learn from your mistakes and to improve yourself. If you feel it's too brutal to block her, Just unfriend her. After another month you can block her. What will she think? Who cares? The worst she'll think is that you're hurt. It's natural to be hurt after break ups.

 

Stop calculating so much. Delete her, block her.

[mightycpa]

I hate to tell you, but she's not going to think about it nearly as long as you have. One day she'll notice you've disappeared from FB, and she'll think

 

Hunh

 

and then move on with her day, and never give it another thought.

 

So do it, and do whatever else you have to do. It's not childish. It's ****ing manly to give the ol' ghosting treatment to an ex without regard for what she thinks about it. It builds a lot of character and strength, which you admit you don't have. It sends the message that you'll do what you want when you want it, and you don't give a **** who thinks what about it. That's what men do.

 

So block her.

[opalant]

Block her on everything, it's not childish, it's just you helping yourself to move on.

 

You need to realise that no one is hurting you now but yourself, obviously checking her accounts and then messaging her isn't making you look great and it's not making you feel great.

 

You need to FORCE yourself not to look, I found it helpful to mark off on a calendar with a bright green pen each day I hadn't snooped on him or messaged him, it was like a little well done to myself and when a whole month had gone by I was so proud of myself.

 

Keep making yourself not look and I promise the temptation gets less and less eventually.

[anonymousbear00101100]

Thank you. All of these things have helped. I blocked her and deleted her number. The waves of self confidence come in like tsunamis, where I go from absolutely none to way to much then back to none. Thinking about her flirting with other guys with the specific intent to get over me kills me. I'm just trying to forget her entirely.

[Meli22]

Just delete her, who cares what she thinks? It's not childish, it's actually pretty mature because it shows you're moving on with your life. Whenever you have urges to look just remind yourself that you might see something you don't like and it will set you back a million steps.

[mightycpa]

Just delete her, who cares what she thinks? It's not childish, it's actually pretty mature because it shows you're moving on with your life. Whenever you have urges to look just remind yourself that you might see something you don't like and it will set you back a million steps.

When I read this, the following popped into my head:

 

Childish is when you keep hanging on after you've already been told you're no longer wanted.

 

Good post Meli22!