3 years relationship +2 year NC, finally meet up.

[johndo1984]

I just wanted to share LS my NC experience. We were both 24ys at that time. My ex and I been together for 3 years, we have our up and down. I broke up w her bc she cheated on me and slept withone else. I blocked from all contact, phone, fb, wechat..etc.. During my break up, I working to improve myself. Graduated from school, good career, go out have fun, met new people, etc. basic just keep myself busy and not think about the past or my ex.

 

After 2 year of no NC, i got a text msg from someone I didnt know. Turn out it my ex, she use a new number to text me. She ask to meet, I didnt reply back to her. I dont see a point of taking to her. But am interestes into what she got to say . I agree to meet up after 2 years. We meet on Saturday(last week)

We agreed to meet at Starbucks, I came and waited for her. I waited for 15 min, and I decided to leave. As I walked toward the door, she came running in. I didnt recognized her. She apologized for being late. We sat down and talk. Until today, I can still remember some of the communication we had.

Her: Hi, how you been?

Me: let cut this bs,what do you want? (At this time, I still have grudge of what she did to me)

Her: I guess your still mad and still hate me

Me: Am not the same person and dont exect me to be

Her: I known and I understand. I came here today to apologized what I did. Because of my action, I take full responsibility and for the breakup of our relationship. I understand your upset and hurt. I know I cant undo what I did but to accept it and move forward. I came here to apologize from my bottom of my heart. Am sorry, I hope we can try one more time.

Me: i guess your done having fun and now you decide to come back.let me asked you three question. One, why do I wanted to be w a cheater and a lair. You slept with someone, when I confronted you, you lie in front of my face. Instead I found out the answer on my own. Two, why do you care about us now? Did you said we not match? Didnt you said we have nothing in common. Didnt you said we not going to last? Three, what is it for me? Until you can answer my questions, we can meet again. If not, dont brother me. I have to nothing to say to you. Good bye

Her: if you walk you that door, I guess there no more of us.

Me: it ended 2 years ago when you walk out on me with someone else

Her: All I got to said is that am sorry, but it nice seeing you again.

Me: well am sorry I got a finance now. Good bye

Her: I wish you the best.

 

I walked out of Starbucks and sat in my car to compress what just happen. I cry in my car, bc i think of the past and I thought my ex is the person am going to marry after 3 years. I drove off and i notice my ex still inside Starbucks. That the last time I saw her. I saw her tears when we talk. But I never felt for it. My ex slept w one of my friend. I found out bc I saw a hickey on her neck and my friend admitted to me that he slept w her. And that he did like her. My ex broke up to be w my friend. Until this day, I never contact him.

I drove home and I got my final text from me ex. " hey, thank you meeting up w me tonigh, I cant answer you question bc I dont know how. I hope someday I have an answer, but If Iand when i do know the answer, I will just keep it to myself. Once again, thank you for tonight, I wish you and your fiancee the best. You deserted it. Good bye." I never replied back.

 

Going NC help me alot. I become stronger and a better person. Yes, it hurt me alot when we broke up, but I alway think there someone out there better for me and accept me for me. I cant turn and fix the past, but I can do better for myself for the future. I never think I will see me ex again after 2 years. After last saturday, I will stay nc w my ex am happy now that I got some closure.

The person that broke your heart, they do think about you even they dont admit to it. it not the easy for them to forget you. Going nc efffect both peole not just yourself.

[Silver_star]

Thank you for your story.

 

Wow, good for you. I don't know you but I'm proud that you stood up for yourself. She really treated you horribly and there is not many ways to come back from that. I am glad you went NC and realized she was not good for you.

That there are women out there that would never do that to you.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Interesting post and I tend to agree that if the person you were with and broke your heart has a conscience they will feel remorse one day. Whether they will eventually reach out to you, like your ex did, is another story.

 

Good for you on getting closure. Most of us will probably never get quite as lucky as you with an ex reaching out with remorse but it doesn't matter in the end...we all need to strive to give closure to ourselves and continue to move on and heal.

 

Thanks for your post!

[johndo1984]

Most ppl won't get closure bc their ex will never or can admit she/he mistake. Or they dont know their mistake.

My ex tried to reconcile w me but the paint to much for me to handle. I can't let go of the pain to forgive her. She accused me of having a grudge against her for a long time and never let it go. I got my own closure, when I believe in myself that i could do better and I decided to move on with out her.

[marky00]

 

Her: if you walk you that door, I guess there no more of us.

 

This bit sticks out the most.

 

Sounds like she didn't change a bit and was still trying to control you. She claims reconciliation and then gives an ultimatum wtf. Good thing you said No. Somehow I feel like if u said yes lets give another try, she probably would have reneged.

 

Asking those 3 questions was smart. You uped the anti on her which allowed you to see right through her.

[Captivating]

People do make mistakes. Some cheat because of serious self-esteem issues (especially when they are young) and their cheating has nothing to do with you, although it affects you and the relationship. After two years you still seem very angry so you lashed out on her. Why did you meet her?? Instead, you could have texted cordially that you are in a committed relationship, you are not interested in reconciliation and wishing her the best.

[Confusioncreepsin]

Ummm....People do make mistakes, but a penis accidentally falling into a vagina is not a mistake...ITS A CHOICE. A choice that requires compliance on both people engaged in the activity. Cheating is only considered a mistake AFTERWARDS by those that were caught or do not believe in committed relationships.

[Captivating]

Confusioncreepsin.... People do make POOR CHOICES in life. However, things in life are rarely black and white. Cheating IS wrong. I have seen many relationships/marriages where the "cheater" wasn't the bad guy. If someone is being verbally abused, ignored for years....it's a basic need of all of us to feel loved. Exiting a marriage with kids is not easy. So if my hubby cheated on me....i would take a good look at myself as well, how i might have contributed to all of this. I do believe in committed relationships ; however, i do have empathy and understanding of people's shortcomings and their unique circumstances as well.... Things are never black and white, more likely gray.

[Laci1975]

I wish I had the strength to do what you did.. Yours is actually a very happy story.. I don't know where you found the strength to do it. Do you think it was a somewhat easier thing to do since you were the dumper and not the dumpee? I am not saying it was easy, but I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to ask. My ex text and I go stupid and text back. Because of my feelings for him. But, he dumped me.