DirtyBerty Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 About 8 weeks ago I got dumped by my GF of 7 years. I still think about her a lot. Less than the first couple of weeks but I've had a few really good days now and I'm starting to feel better. Even on these good days I still thought about her a good 10+ times. Just wondered how long did it take before you went a whole day without thinking about your ex? Did you even notice? Link to post Share on other sites
louxor Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 About 8 weeks ago I got dumped by my GF of 7 years. I still think about her a lot. Less than the first couple of weeks but I've had a few really good days now and I'm starting to feel better. Even on these good days I still thought about her a good 10+ times. Just wondered how long did it take before you went a whole day without thinking about your ex? Did you even notice? 7 years is a long time, so getting someone off your mind who was around you for that long is going to take a decent amount of time. However you'll notice that the more time that goes by, these thoughts may still happen every day, but they'll become less upsetting and more like any other memories. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Way longer than 2 months. Sorry. the bad break up I had I played a game with myself: I'm going to go a whole hour without crying over him. When I mastered that I upped it to 2 hours, then a 1/2 day, then a whole day, then 2 days in a row, then a week. Somewhere around there I forgot to have to play but this process took months. Link to post Share on other sites
Liono84 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I find it very hard to believe how you can completely go without having a single thought on your ex, after only a month or two. I don't know, maybe some people are wired differently, and if they are, I'm pretty jealous of that, but I don't know how you could do that. I will say, though, that after awhile, the thoughts definitely become less and less. The more you're busy, the less you think about them. I usually find myself so engulfed with plans, events, social outings on weekends, that I don't think much about my ex, but on weekdays it's a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
Seeker12 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 (edited) To be honest i am 1 year out of my 7 year relationship, with someone else now, an amazing girl, but im still dogged by the mental thought/face of my ex, more annoying than anything else now, especially when i am becoming invested in someone else, sometimes it feels like im doing my new partner disservice to be honest, especially as she is head over heels for me and adores me, does tend to make you doubt yourself, but the pain is little to nothing. Its like i try to think of my new partner, but then my ex just pops up. Edited October 13, 2015 by Seeker12 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Still think about my ex from 16 months ago every day, multiple times a day. (She cheated on me and I just found out she was engaged). Still think about my ex from 27 months ago every day, multiple times a day. (I left her after 8 years together) Maybe in a few years I will make it a day without thinking of either one of them, but I doubt it. As mentioned earlier, the thoughts become less and less, as well as less hurtful. Eventually, I hope, it just becomes indifference. Link to post Share on other sites
chapter44 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Ended a 5 year relationship 6 months ago - still think about her most everyday briefly. It takes time, go easy on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I'm not sure I've gone a full day without having at least one thought about all of my exes. Thing is, over time and physical separation, those thoughts go from agonizing to about as benign as, "I feel like chicken for dinner tonight." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
OK_computer Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 My ex of 4 years is getting engaged at the end of this month. When the heard the news, i didn't even flinch. Not even a single neuron fired in my brain, well maybe one, and that was one of indifference. It took my 2 years to forget her miserable existence. But by God it feels so good when you finally do. Shes no different to me than any other person on this planet. She elicits the same emotion from me that I give when i see a stick on the road, a fly buzzing, maybe a cloud in the sky, floor mat, chair. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Recently, I broke up with him one week before my birthday. For one week, I didn't think about him then it became a daily thing. The hardest part is keeping up with NC. I also keep thinking about another guy I met once last December. Even though I deleted him from FB ( he didn't wish me happy birthday) I STILL think about him and its super duper annoying. I used to say to my best friend, give it at least 6 months to get over a guy, well my theory sucks, because its almost been over a year I haven't seen him and I constantly nthink about him . Time heals... I guess. As the memories begin to fade. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 In my case it took 23 months and meeting the Person with whom I have better sex and chemistry Than with my ex. Don't try to fit your recovery in a calendar. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 About 8 weeks ago I got dumped by my GF of 7 years. I still think about her a lot. Less than the first couple of weeks but I've had a few really good days now and I'm starting to feel better. Even on these good days I still thought about her a good 10+ times. Just wondered how long did it take before you went a whole day without thinking about your ex? Did you even notice? This happened to me after a relationship of roughly the same length. It took me a very long time to get over but that's because I held on to any tiny straw of hope. Don't do that. Delete her in every aspect possible and start dreaming about other girls you meet throughout the day. After a few weeks you'll be right as rain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 My most recent break up was a little over 4 months ago and I still think about him daily. I don't see this ending any time soon, but hopefully in time it will get better. The ex before that I was with for 2 years and it took me a good 4 years to get over him and not think about him as much. Only because I had met my current ex then and my thoughts were replaced with him. But I never fully stopped thinking about my previous ex daily. The thoughts just stopped bothering me as much as they used to. I used to think of him and miss him and now I just think of him and say "I wonder what he's up to?" I no longer have that longing for him that I used to have. My passion for him is dead. But he will always hold a special place in my heart. There was a time...about a year after he left me that I found out he had just recently gotten married and had a new baby boy....it really bothered me and I was jealous and hurt. I no longer feel that way. Now I just think "what a beautiful family they make." It's the same with all my other exes. I still think of them, but just not as fondly as I once did. Each and every one will hold a special place in my heart because each of them were unique and were a part of my life at one point in time And each of them taught me a lesson no matter how hard the lesson was. It made me a stronger person and who I am today. So how can I just forget about something like that? It's not just exes though. I still remember every single crush I ever had...even from back in Elementary school. Call it a blessing or a curse, but my mind is like a freaking sponge...it absorbs everything and everyone and stores it forever. I could not forget if I tried. Certain people may not be in my life any longer, but the memories of them remain in my mind forever whether I want them to or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Liono84 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 This happened to me after a relationship of roughly the same length. It took me a very long time to get over but that's because I held on to any tiny straw of hope. Don't do that. Delete her in every aspect possible and start dreaming about other girls you meet throughout the day. After a few weeks you'll be right as rain. Stage5: This is exactly what I struggle with; Getting over that final hump, the tiny glimmer of hope. I've done well in every other category imaginable post-breakup except this. (NC since the breakup, self-improvement, new hobbies etc). Any tips you care to share on getting over the false hope?? From my prior experiences, it's only when I've gone out with another new girl and developed a new R/S that I've gone over my prior ex. Unfortunately, it's been a few months and I've yet to meet a new girl, let alone a new crush so my thoughts are still centered on my recent ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Stage5: This is exactly what I struggle with; Getting over that final hump, the tiny glimmer of hope. I've done well in every other category imaginable post-breakup except this. (NC since the breakup, self-improvement, new hobbies etc). Any tips you care to share on getting over the false hope?? From my prior experiences, it's only when I've gone out with another new girl and developed a new R/S that I've gone over my prior ex. Unfortunately, it's been a few months and I've yet to meet a new girl, let alone a new crush so my thoughts are still centered on my recent ex. It's been a few years for me since this and trust me you get over them even without a new relationship. First step in anything is acceptance. You need to accept that it's over completely. It's easier if you delete her number and block her everywhere else so that it is impossible to contact her or her to contact you. Get rid of any photos or at least put them somewhere that you won't be stumbling on daily. Literally just pick a random girl and choose to fall in love with her. Pursue her, dream about her, talk to her. Even if it doesn't work out you'll realize that you can fall for other girls. After my breakup I had a hard time even opening up sexually to other new girls. The only way I fixed that is to open my heart to them, be vulnerable, and fall for them without holding back. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I don't know. I don't really remember what day that was, or how long it took. It was so uneventful, and followed by lots of days just like it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I was with the recent ex for 3.5 months, I'm 2 months post-b/u and still think of her each day at least once. However, she has no power over my emotions anymore. My ex from last year - I was with her for a year and it took me about six months post-b/u until I stopped thinking of her. Give it time, amigos. We'll all be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
theredpill Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I still think about my ex every now and then, it's been three months since the breakup after being together 18 months, but no longer do I get a sinking feeling if she pops up in one my our mutual friends FB posts. As men it's easy, keep busy because we can't think about two things at the same time Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 TBH, I'm friends with my long-term ex on Facebook. Seeing her name still gives me a bit of a gut-check but it's more out of being disturbed then any kind of love. She is disturbing. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Im 3.5 months post break up out of a 1 year long relationship and the majority of the day she is on my mind (I still play things over in my mind, get bad moments and good) but it doesn't hurt anymore, i just keep doing what im doing and moving on day by day. eventually when things start picking up again things will be different, I held onto hope for the first couple of months, hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
geronimo Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 I'm sure this is not something you want to hear, but sadly its going to be a year soon since my bu and i still think about my ex. BUT thats my fault, I implemented NC in the beginning and was feeling alot better after about 6 months, but she came back into my life and f*cked everything up. I now have to do NC all over again and move past it. I was in my relationship for almost 5 years. It was both our first and thats why it has been so hard to get over. Also the fact that she started dating someone almost right after we broke up. This is why NC is so important and you have to stick to it no matter what, until you're completely over your ex. I have hope that within the next few months I should also have a day where I won't think of her at all and all will be well again. Link to post Share on other sites
Luke22 Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 My relationship of almost 1 & 1/2 years ended a month ago. I think about her daily, but it's already changing. No hate, anger or bitterness. Some sadness. No longer crippled with sadness, just more annoying than anything. For me, when I let it go and focused on me, it became easier. I have a ways to go, but I'm greatful to not be bed ridden with hopelessness like i was initially. Link to post Share on other sites
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