JADIE Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Anyone else ever felt a sense of relief at being dumped? Pretty sure I'm going to be feeling pretty crappy in the months to come after my BF of 5 years just broke up with me, but right now it's a huge relief! The past month has not felt "right" but I couldn't get a straight answer out of him about what appeared to be a reeeaaalllllyyy slow fade. Kinda like my gut knew better but my heart was trying not to believe it... In fact, I still don't have a straight answer...just a promise that he'll call within a week or so, after praying over his confusion about whether to move the relationship forward or end it. He knows I would prefer to be married and grow old together (we ain't no spring chickens at 55 & 62). So apparently I'm supposed to sit tight and find out next week whether I'm getting married or getting dumped! I'm just assuming I'll be dumped because if 5 years couldn't convince him we'd be great together, I doubt another week is going to make a difference (barring a sign from God of course ) But after an agonizing month of wondering...being dumped feels not so terrible after all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Agreed. I think that it might even be wise to pull the plug yourself and move on according to your terms. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 There was a small amount of relief when my ex left me because she was a pain to be with , but I loved her and soon hit rock bottom after about a week Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) There was a small amount of relief when my ex left me because she was a pain to be with , but I loved her and soon hit rock bottom after about a week The same with me. My ex was a pain too, and when we broke up, i felt a lot of relief. At least initially, while the thought of a permanent break up hadn't really sunk in... And while i experienced a LOT of pain once this happened, i was still feeling a sense of relief from her constant nagging, jealousy, and general bad attitude. She was always like this. Hey, "other man" who stole my ex, in case you are reading, you don't know what you are getting into... LOL Still love her though, but i don't think that is romantic love anymore. I just love her as a sister at this point. Of course, there is a good chance i will never see her again. Probably for the best. I need to fall in love again with a gorgeous 20-something Edited October 6, 2015 by Christos Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) The same with me. My ex was a pain too, and when we broke up, i felt a lot of relief. At least initially, while the thought of a permanent break up hadn't really sunk in... And while i experienced a LOT of pain once this happened, i was still feeling a sense of relief from her constant nagging, jealousy, and general bad attitude. She was always like this. Hey, "other man" who stole my ex, in case you are reading, you don't know what you are getting into... LOL Still love her though, but i don't think that is romantic love anymore. I just love her as a sister at this point. Of course, there is a good chance i will never see her again. Probably for the best. I need to fall in love again with a gorgeous 20-something Yeah that was kind of what happened with me. I felt a sense of relief because I no longer had to put up with his jealousy and accusations/paranoia. I immediately thought.. "Now I can finally wear what I want!" (He used to hate me wearing anything even slightly fitted because it would show off my shape). And I also thought.. Hey I no longer need to wear a jacket tied around my waist at the gym! Lol same issue. I still hit rock bottom, but there was definitely some relief mixed in there. I sometimes feel a bit jealous at the thought of him with someone else but then I remember how bad he could be at times, and think well that's someone else's problem now. Unless he changes. Edited October 6, 2015 by Meli22 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JADIE Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Yeah well I don't feel so hot today and I'm starting to get pissed that there wasn't anything intrinsically bad about the relationship, or him or me (that he informed me of anyway..), that triggered this, other than his concerns about the morality of it as regards his religious beliefs. If it was ok for 5 yrs, why is it NOW suddenly an issue? We've gone round & round about this in the past and in fact broke up over it for 4 mos in year 2. And now I'm supposed to wait for HIS decision? I'm thinking I may not want to sign up for this shyt again if its gonna keep cropping up every few years, but at the same time...I was single for 18 yrs or so before meeting anyone I was remotely interested in or compatible with... Link to post Share on other sites
Luke22 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I too felt a sense of relief. In addition to a cornucopia of feelings. Relief sounds strange, but I understand it. Our relationship was toxic since last December. Instead of wallow in the thoughts of time wasted, I'm relieved that we didn't spend another several months being miserable. I'm relieved that she ended it. I couldn't. I tried, but she pulled me back in only to end it again. Yes, your feelings will change. They'll bounce back and forth on the dumpee spectrum. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I felt instant relief with certain exes, and pure panic and anxiety with other exs. Some exs took a day to get over and others....years. Just depends who really mattered in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I felt instant relief with certain exes, and pure panic and anxiety with other exs. Some exs took a day to get over and others....years. Just depends who really mattered in the end. No relief here on my side, the BU came out of nowhere, and I did not know what really hit me, it turned out her ex was back, and I was just a rebound,It hurts, it still hurts, but there is nothing I can do...I just try to keep myself busy, and keep living... Tonight is the 56th day of NC... Well I have made arrangements for the 60th day... I am going to dance with the angels to celebrate the holocaust... I think I am entering the depression phase, and this is really bad... I hope it goes away really soon.. Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 No relief here on my side, the BU came out of nowhere, and I did not know what really hit me, it turned out her ex was back, and I was just a rebound,It hurts, it still hurts, but there is nothing I can do...I just try to keep myself busy, and keep living... Tonight is the 56th day of NC... Well I have made arrangements for the 60th day... I am going to dance with the angels to celebrate the holocaust... I think I am entering the depression phase, and this is really bad... I hope it goes away really soon.. I noticed that we feel more for others only because the way they make us feel about ourselves. Either through validation or making you feel like the epic star character of some great movie. Thats our problem. We should always feel awesome about ourselves. I will not really celebrate anything otherwise its adding fuel or energy to the situation. Just treat yourself as normal. Spoil yourself because you are awesome. Play mind games and win in every daydream. If they really thought you were all that and a bag of chips, you would not be here. now is the time to silently up the tone and make yourself epic for someone else. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I noticed that we feel more for others only because the way they make us feel about ourselves. Either through validation or making you feel like the epic star character of some great movie. Thats our problem. We should always feel awesome about ourselves. I will not really celebrate anything otherwise its adding fuel or energy to the situation. Just treat yourself as normal. Spoil yourself because you are awesome. Play mind games and win in every daydream. If they really thought you were all that and a bag of chips, you would not be here. now is the time to silently up the tone and make yourself epic for someone else. I know what you mean, I have a record of sever depression back to when I was a teenager, well we were going back from school, when this car hit one of my classmates and he passed away in front of me... Now I am 28 and I am a school teacher, and school was were I met this lady, she was my colleague there ... I sometimes wonder why all bad things happen at schools, and why did I even choose to be a school teacher to begin with... I hope the depression is not back to replace my ex... I hate them both...and I hate all schools in the world Yeah good days WILL come... Thank you, your words really touched my heart... I spilled a tear or two... I really needed that...thank you once more Link to post Share on other sites
chapter44 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 After having been in your situation (5 year relationship) that ended 6 months ago I can honestly tell you that in my case I knew it was destined to end although I didn't want to face it. Looking back if I had listened to my gut, inner voice, intuition, or whatever you want to call it - I would have ended it much sooner to avoid the heartache. The good news is that once your past the hurt you will see things from a much clearer perspective and will be open to meet someone who is truly right for you. Hang in there is does get better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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