sadkoala Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 My boyfriend of 1 year dumped me last week. His reason was that he's "not ready for a committed relationship" (whatever the f*ck that means:(). I am currently heartbroken beyond belief and SO confused because the breakup was out of the blue... Anyway, I've been doing NC since the break and am currently on day 6. He texted me today saying "I'm sorry." That's all he texted. Should I respond? Or keep going NC? :( Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 That's called a breadcrumb and it is something you should absolutely NOT respond to!!! Hate to say it, but if it was out of the blue as you describe, then there might be someone else in the picture... Your best bet is to move on and forget this dude!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
kxpxsc3 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I agree with the above statement reply. I think he is just looking for you to say it's ok so he doesn't have to feel guilty about the situation. Remember that he is not asking you to get back together or begging for another chance. It was only 2 words. Your best bet (from personal experience, as I'm sure most replies on here are)... don't reply. Any further contact with him will only cause you pain at this point. Focus all your efforts on healing. It may not feel now that it will get better, but it will! Especially if you go NO CONTACT 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thejabberwocky Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Don't respond! NC is the right move. Not only will it help you move on, you're really going to show him what he's lost. It is a good sign he's trying to contact you, but stay strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 It's called No Contact. Not "No Contact but reply if spoken to". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 If you would like to erase what little progress you have made in these past 6 days go ahead & respond. He won't engage you & you will feel worse for having reached out. Some people don't believe the "do not touch" signs on the hot stove & only learn when they get burned. His I'm sorry is his way of easing his own conscious. It's not about wanting you back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Clue is in the name, "no contact". No. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm one of the ones on these boards that doesn't always use no contact... But, there is no way you should respond to that text. It's absolutely classless of him to send that. Let him stew in his guilt... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 My boyfriend of 1 year dumped me last week. His reason was that he's "not ready for a committed relationship" (whatever the f*ck that means:(). What it means is that he has decided he does not want to be in a committed relationship with you. He wants to be free to date whomever he wants. You are not the one he sees a future with. He either has someone else lined up or he is wanting to go out there and find someone that has more of what he's looking for. You don't break up and dump someone that you're really into and want to build a future with. He may figure out down the road that he regrets the decision, but in the mean time you should not respond to anything unless he is clear that he would like to meet and talk about fixing things and getting back and even if that was to happen, there is no telling what he probably truly wants and it's usually best to at least take 30 days away from a person after a break up to sort emotions out before thinking about any contact. there is just too much confusion and emotions are high immediately following it. People say all kinds of things they don't really mean and the only thing that means anything and that is clear, is that one person no longer wanted to be in a relationship with the other. That is clear. There is no confusion there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 screw him, you deserve someone who will be with you 100% and you will find someone who will be that for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 'No contact,' means no contact. It's not compulsory, but if you decide to do it, do it properly. *No direct contact in either direction. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadkoala Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Thank you everyone for the replies! I really appreciate it. I have decided to listen to you guys and keep going NC. I'm hoping my ex will come back to reconcile one day. Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm not one of the ones that believes in STRICT no contact in breakups, but in this situation you did the right thing in not replying. Something like that is just hoping to ease his conscience and make himself feel better about what happened, maybe wants to keep a small stream of contact to ease himself through the breakup. For you, the one who needs to get over him, that is not productive emotionally at all. I don't think that all people that break up with someone deserve to be punished, but they also don't deserve to be consoled by you - the person who they broke up with. That's not your job anymore, because they MADE it not your job anymore. You have to do what is right for you and what is going to help you heal. If he tries to contact you again, depending on what he says, you can always say something simple about not wanting to continue contact through the breakup and that you need time and space. I doubt that will be the last you hear from him and it's better to get that out of the way rather than have him contact you when you're at a weak moment and you just want to talk to him. Also, try to let go of the hope that he will reconcile. That won't help you get over this relationship. He didn't break up with you for reasons of incompatibility that you might soon overcome, he just didn't want a relationship with you. At some point soon he's probably going to start feeling really lonely and want to reach out. It might seem reconciliatory, but unless he explicitly states that he wants to try again and gives you a VERY good reason why you should give him another chance, it will just be him hoping for reassurance while going through the loneliness that comes with all breakups whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Please don't reply. Don't reply to anything other than "I want to get back together with you" - and don't wait for that, either. Link to post Share on other sites
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