blacklily Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 hey guys! i really need your advice .. my ex boyfriend (we went out for 8 months) left me 7 months ago because he was no longer in love with me. In fact, he used the line, "I love you but not inlove with you." I was his first serious girlfriend he had flings prior to our relationship but it was obviously short terms & he lost his virginity to me. I was shocked and devastated because i didnt see it coming at all. I asked him what caused him to feel that way & he said he truly doesnt know and he wished he knew it too. He said he needed to figure himself out & that he couldnt commit to me. I asked him if there was somebody else and he said no and he proceed to tell me that he will not be in a relationship for a very long time. I asked him if he was willing to work it out and he said no & that he already made up his mind..at that point, i was crying my heart out & he cried as well. I told him ill never gonna see him again because i dont believe in being friends with your ex. He was shocked & tried to convinced me to be his friend..he said he still wanted to hang out with me & watch movies etc. I said "no. you gotta stick with your decision. we're not friends. we will never be. dont contact me at all" he said he doesnt want that to happen because he still "cares" for me and thinks im a "great" person (note: he kept repeating it). I declined his offer then he said that he is going to regret the break up "for sure". I asked him to drop me home & before i left, he said "lets not be strangers okay?" and i didnt say anything. a month ago, I bumped into him at a bar. I was with my friends and also with my date (that my friends set me up with). He was with our mutual friends.. we were both shocked but I acted civil and said hi to him & i talked to our friends for a bit. He didnt look at me at all so i just let it be. unfortunately, it was a busy night and we had no choice but to sit literally across from his table. my ex can see me and my date directly from his view & few minutes later, he changed seats with the person next to him. First i thought..did he change seats because of me?? I tried not to let it get me & tried my best to have fun. later that night, my date whispered to me "i didnt know your ex is near us." i asked him "howd you know?" (he doesnt know how he looks like)he said, "well, I noticed him giving me dirty looks so I asked Paul (our friend) who that guy is and he told me." i told him not to worry about it. The next day, 1 of mutual friend msged me about inviting me to her bday party & we ended up talking about last night, since she was at my ex's table. She told me that my ex felt extremely awkward and he kept saying, "i can't believe this is happening right now.." Out of curiosity, I asked her why he changed seats & she said its because he doesnt want to see me with my date & how its awkward. my question is, why is he somehow affected if he isnt even inlove with me anymore?? Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 A guy doesn't have to be in love with you or still want to have you as his girlfriend to feel awkward and uncomfortable about being in such close proximity to you and your date. Especially if that was the first time you've seen each other since the break up. Pretty "what are the chances?" Kind of moment. Hasn't seen you then randomly you're at the table next to him with a new guy. Even if you ended things as friends or if he absolutely hated you, it's never fun to see your ex gf out with someone else. And it's less fun if you have to look at them every time you face forward (since you were in his line of sight) It's not because he wants you back or regrets breaking up with you. It's just not a fun place to be... Speaking from his perspective. He thinks he's going out for a fun night of laughs and drinks with his friends. Ends up having to stare at his ex who he hasn't seen in months next to another guy. Just a "ugh this is gonna suck the fun out of the night" feeling I'm sure he had. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 He's affected because he's human. He doesn't have to want you back to not want to see you with another guy. You don't have an ex BF problem, just an EX BF. Carry on with your new single life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 (edited) I asked him if there was somebody else and he said no I am sorry to say this but I am pretty much 100% sure this is a lie. He has shown all of the classic lines of a cheater. Seriously it's like they get them from a handbook or something. He has shown every single one of the signs of a cheater. I would bet my bottom dollar that he was cheating on you. That's probably why he feels awkward. He's thinking "does she know? is her new bf going to beat the living carp out of me?" You need to stop trying to figure out why he does what he does. That thinking will literally drive you crazy. you can't figure out why crazy idiot people do what they do. They do it cause they are crazy idiots, that is all. You're wasting your brain power on your douchebag ex. Edited September 2, 2015 by PegNosePete Link to post Share on other sites
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