QueenDeath Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I would like to say just because I don't reply to my threads when you guys answer them, doesn't mean that I don't I don't think things into consideration. I do and I appreciate it! My questions are why is it that sometimes the dumper is hoping to be friends with the dumpee somewhere down the line? *generally speaking* Why do us dumpees sometimes feel the need or want the dumpers to contact us? *generally speaking* Why do dumpers feed the dumpees bread crumbs when they honestly don't give a rat's behind? Again, I'm just generally speaking, I know it depends on why the break up happens, but is there some type of general psychology that goes on between the dumper and the dumpee? I have always been curious on that. For example when the dumper says you deserve happiness, do some of them really mean it or do some of them just hope to soften the blow? Do some dumpers really want to be friends with the dumpee or do some just want something to fall back on? I have more questions, but I can't remember the rest. I'm just interested in this. Link to post Share on other sites
Liono84 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Dumpers bring the friend topic for their own selfish reasons. They're not softening the blow to help you out, they're doing it to help them out. I want to re-emphasize that, it's to help them, not you. They want to get rid of their guilt for breaking up with you, so they offer to be friends. It's a cruel thing to break up with someone that you once loved deeply and envisioned a future with. It's like blood on their hands, and they don't want anything to do with it, because they have played the hands of God , sort to speak, by possibly changing their/your/our future. Dumpees go through stages.. Dumpees feel that way in the very beginning because in we're in disbelief/shock/denial, at least I was. We have several stages of emotions to go through, all very painful. When the shock/denial/grieving is over, we later accept that the relationship has ended, but we hold onto a false sense of hope that eventually, the dumper, will contact us back in order to get back together. This is probably the hardest part of getting over someone. Holding onto hope, for a dumper, is a very dangerous thing. You have to kill that in order to heal yourself.. As far as breadcrumbs go, I can't speak for myself because that hasn't happened to me and I sure as hope/pray it doesn't. That's just cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Sexy article on breadcrumbs https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/comments/2u8atf/breaking_no_contact_how_to_respond_to_breadcrumbs/ Why do us dumpees sometimes feel the need or want the dumpers to contact us? In my case, I want my dumper to contact me because I want to know he still thinks about me, wants to be with me, and I hope for us to get back together. Which I have now realized, is a bad thing lol. It should be, that I'm an amazing girl, and lots of guys would want to be with me. If he doesn't contact me, then his loss and there will be another guy who will treat me the way I want to be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Sexy article on breadcrumbs https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/comments/2u8atf/breaking_no_contact_how_to_respond_to_breadcrumbs/This is TERRIFIC. Thank you for sharing. Everyone going through a BU should read this, daily. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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