titipornstar Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 So its been 6 months since I lost whom I thought was the love of my life... She left me and weeks later was with someone new from work... i suffered a lot, therapy, and put family and friends through the mill. A couple of weeks ago she phoned me out of the blue with some lame question about paperwork, i kept it short but we had a short polite convo provoked by her of the how are you doing type...anyway I shut it down asap Two days later messages about some paperwork she had found that I may need in regards to the dog... i messaged her saying how strange it was that i hadn't heard from her in 6 months and now twice in 3 days...and what was up?!... She of course got all defensive said nothing was up but she wanted to see how i was... i again cut the communication short. The problem is i love her, i got my friend to check her fb profile and she has her profile pic with the other guy. I'm toying with getting in touch with her in the hope that her last communications were a sign of her reaching out, she had me blocked on messenger now i am not I cant stop thinking about this... Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I bet secretly it is so good to hear from her ! I guess you have to be very cautious and see where she takes it , I hope if my ex ever contacts me it will be at a time I can truly say , sorry I've moved on , you could be opening up a world of pain and setting your self back 6 months if she's just messing you around because it's not working outwith her guy , I like to think that once people break it's fornthe best that it stays that way , but then I wouldn't be practising what I preach ....... it's a tough one Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 yes my mind was totally blown, i was confused , excited and nervous but at the same time holding back because of what she put me through. Im thinking wait for her to come again then start a proper conversation... but I'm not sure if she will after last contact, and the fact i kept it short and to the point.. don't know what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 she will get hold of you again if she is serious ! just sit back and let her make the effort , if she doesnt make an effort shes not that bothered , i would say she is testing the water to see how you react Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 thank you, that is what i will do... after all its up to her and she needs to try harder after everything, perhaps I'm just imagining things but hey Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 don't know what to do... You don't want to hear this but.. what you need to do is ignore her and not have any further contact with her. Why? * She's contacting you for an ego boost, to see if you're still pining for her if you've not contacted her in a long while. * There's some underlying guilt in the way she ended it with you that she's trying to get past. Maybe things are getting really serious with this new guy and she doesn't want any negative karma from her past. * Maybe there's a slight chance this new guy isn't working out and she wants to know if she has a fall back plan, just in case. The facts are she dumped you and immediately starting screwing a new guy. Those actions demonstrate she didn't love you. If you love someone, you stick with them through the ups/downs. You don't bail and jump into the next guys bed. By you engaging with her, she knows she still has all this power over you and that you'd go running back to her. This site illustrated that IF these opportunities present themselves and a reconciliation is tried, they ALWAYS end in failure after the initial excitement of getting back together ends. You'd be ssoo much better off to no longer engage w/her and find someone new. You need your pride and self esteem to kick in here and say "oh hell no!" I'm not even going to consider this with how she treated me the first time nor do I want to risk a repeat of her doing it all over again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 i dont always agree with some of the drastic advice on here , take it one day at time and work steadily towards the end goal of being fully over her , there will be alot of up and down times but being told to move on ,forget about her ,shes not worth it and all that kind of stuff is right but it doesnt just happen after reading it on a thread , ive read that advice 10000 times on here and im not saying it isnt right , it really is , but i know its not that easy , a human mind has alot of processing that has to be done after a break up and you can help it along by no contact ( most important) staying busy to distract yourself and talking about it her contacting you is a blip in all of this and will set you back but i think sometimes , epecialy for a dude , its an important part of moving on , having that second stage of contact after the break up Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Okay, time for a reality check. She left you for someone else. Dropped you and moved right onto someone that she was cheating on you with. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Enough so she put more of a value in this other douche rocket than your relationship. I mean, she was with this guy within a couple of weeks. No mourning you or the loss of the relationship. No one does something like that unless there was something there already. So, six months go by. The honeymoon phase of this new relationship is ending and things in her life are going back to routine. Now, she's had time to reflect on how crappy she was to you. She KNOWS she dumped you for someone else and the guilt started to creep in. See, a lot of girls hate the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think they are a nice person. So, she comes up with a BS excuse to contact you and see if this is the case. She wants nothing more than to ease that guilt. To say to herself, "Oh look! Our relationship ended. He's not mad. He's being civil to me. He's okay!" BAM! You just eased her guilt and back to the curb with you. So, why did she call the second time? Well, you answered that question yourself. When she first spoke with you, you kept your answers short and to the point. She couldn't gage you from that. And since she couldn't make heads or tails about where your head was at, she had to try again. Dude, she's not trying to get back with you. She's using you to ease her own guilt. Her phonecalls are selfishly motivated. I would suggest going back to NC and staying there. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 A banquet of crumbs. Not quite one calorie. Block. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 She has poor boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveIsMyReligion Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Playing with fire. Walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Happines Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 My advice to you would b to ask her not contact you anymore I broke up with my ex because he treated me badly but said I was live of his life and he will do all it takes for us to b together...within first week he had another girl in a house and didn't even let me in when I came to pick my things up...made some stuff up Anyways he contacted me again saying he missed me loved me and etc etc So I asked what is it that he wants from me...answer was that he wants US happy together...so my next question was What exactly has he done to prove me that I should actually even waist my time by talking to him?? And u know what he didn't have much to say that Main point is she is with another guy...u have to respect him as well as you would not want to b in his place if she us actually playing with him and trying to mess it head as well Secondly and most importantly the person who was to blame for the break up will really do all it takes to get you back is she/he loves u and will show u that with actions because talking is cheep So as people said above continue ur heeling and forget her...she was with other guy a week after breakup...this shows her love for u and believe it or not she would most likely do it again when she was bored Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 i dont always agree with some of the drastic advice on here , take it one day at time and work steadily towards the end goal of being fully over her , there will be alot of up and down times but being told to move on ,forget about her ,shes not worth it and all that kind of stuff is right but it doesnt just happen after reading it on a thread , ive read that advice 10000 times on here and im not saying it isnt right , it really is , but i know its not that easy , a human mind has alot of processing that has to be done after a break up and you can help it along by no contact ( most important) staying busy to distract yourself and talking about it her contacting you is a blip in all of this and will set you back but i think sometimes , epecialy for a dude , its an important part of moving on , having that second stage of contact after the break up Dude, TC had someone check on his ex's fb and her profile was her with that other guy. That should be enough to have TC at least to stop thinking like there's hope or that she's reaching out for HIS best interest. So no in this case/scenario her intentions points all to her selfish needs/wants, it has nothing to little to do with TC. Look at how TC is reacting and how bothered by all this, he is not ready to consider giving it a "second chance". Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 yes i guess I'm clutching at straws Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 i forgot to add she offered to drop off some of the paperwork at my work, so perhaps wanted to see me or opened the door to it Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Welcome to interaction on her terms. This is not mutual this is a convenience for her because new guy has gotten comfortable and she thinks that a relationship is a man doting on her hand and foot forever. Despite the fact that even if she had that she'd leave for someone who dogged her and only called once a week while playing him like a fiddle. See the pattern? Immature people do selfish, ignorant and shortsighted things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 XXXXUPDATEXXX So today she rocks up at my place of work to give me this famous irrelevant paper. So we chat, and as some had suggested she had broken up with her new beau... we chit chat about the dogs and work nothingness, she then says that she's thinking of going back to her home town and leaving (far away) ... i mean she has said this before , its a classic line when we've broken up in the past... but would like to meet up with me before she goes bcos after all she moved to this town bcos of me... i answered 'we'll have to wait and see' i asked what had happened with her fella she didn't want to say, but i replied i wasn't interested anyway.... so is she making a play for me or is she being honest? Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 XXXXUPDATEXXX So today she rocks up at my place of work to give me this famous irrelevant paper. So we chat, and as some had suggested she had broken up with her new beau... we chit chat about the dogs and work nothingness, she then says that she's thinking of going back to her home town and leaving (far away) ... i mean she has said this before , its a classic line when we've broken up in the past... but would like to meet up with me before she goes bcos after all she moved to this town bcos of me... i answered 'we'll have to wait and see' i asked what had happened with her fella she didn't want to say, but i replied i wasn't interested anyway.... so is she making a play for me or is she being honest?She's just showing off her flaky side. I suggest you get together with her, throw her a little going away party, and tell her that what you're going to miss most is the sex. They love it when they hear that. Then beat feet on outta there, and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 anyone? is it false hope or you think she's making a play Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 anyone? is it false hope or you think she's making a playI think you've gotten plenty of good advice in here. You may want to re-read it. What you want to hear is, "She wants you back! Go for it!" Unfortunately, that's not the case. Time to face reality and get on with your life, without her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 anyone? is it false hope or you think she's making a play Dear ...titipornstar, please look up manipulation, Then judge her actions by your own stipulation, Her comments are guilt-ridden and for good measure, It's to coax you back because of her failed endeavor. Listen to mightycpa, she's a prime candidate for being a FWB for you, Not to seem like a douche, but hey, this is what she wanted for you! She lost her chance at being your girl when she hopped on dude's dick, Now she only gets you as a friend with benefits, or she can move and 'lose it'. In either case, the breakup is something you must not forget, She only wants you back because she's lonely now and upset, She tries to manipulate you back into her arms and into a succubus hold, Stand tall, only offer benefits, and the truth of her misery shall be told! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 sorry for thinking her breaking up with her rebound, coming to see me , and contacting me over the last few weeks has made me think there is a chance i must be mad Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 sorry for thinking her breaking up with her rebound, coming to see me , and contacting me over the last few weeks has made me think there is a chance i must be mad Your sarcasm is unbecoming, just because you don't agree with the advice. Girl leaves you for boy, doesn't work out, and now you want her in your life? You may not believe in yourself, or your worth as a man, but others on this board do, and are trying to help you understand, At the moment, you're a doormat, and you're letting her do what she wants, Which...is fine and all, but you're showing her that you'll do little to challenge her flaunts, If you take her back, especially right away, just because of a few tears, You'er simply showing her that she can dump you, screw someone, and be back without fear! You are a ****ing man, act like one, is what I'm trying to say. YOU are the prize, and you should maybe try thinking this way, If you love yourself, you'll get yourself a woman who is willing to stay, And some 'rebound' guy won't have the ability on her judgement to sway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Thank you very much sir , really Link to post Share on other sites
Author titipornstar Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 in a way i want her to want me back... i will not take her back, i would feel disappointed if she wouldn't want me back after leaving this guy... as id like to think maybe its because she missed me Link to post Share on other sites
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