hellomoto Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) I'll try to keep this short and my thoughts linear.. I dated my ex on/off for 3 years and change. Most was LDR. We dated for a year and broke it off for 8 months because the LDR was very hard on us. Got back together for another year and a half before I moved to his city and we lived together for a year. It was a very trying year in regards to change since now we see each other everyday and work. Work become really difficult since we worked together and the differences in rank put a lot of stress on us to the point where it was either get married or break up (special work circumstances) so we got engaged after weeks of crying/arguing because of the ultimatum we were given.. Two months after getting engaged I started noticing he was very distant so I spoke to him and he said he didn't want to marry me. This was a huge departure from how we were back in the LDR cuz we used to say that we could see a future with each other, have kids, buy a house, etc but I knew he didn't want to marry me right then and there, but I thought it was still on the table for the future. It really broke my heart because I really saw a future with him but I decided to stay and we agreed to work things out. I honestly never saw a problem until that night but in the next 4 months he got more and more distant to the point where he would go out and not come home, we argued about it multiple times and each time I would ask him to just text or call so I know he's safe and every time he said he would but he doesn't. 3 months ago I found out he has been talking to a girl that he was dating back when we broke up for those 8 months - he's been talking to her since the engagement broke off. We live apart now since we have transferred and a month later he started dating another girl and he seems to treat her a lot better than he treated me. I know the girls are not the problem and it's probably not him either its me since he is pretty much over me but I am having a difficult time not talking to him. We share a phone line and he have gone on/off about splitting it for months now since we keep trying to not be friends/NC but keep deciding to share it because it's so much cheaper.. I try to NC all the time but I keep failing because I keep hoping he would wake up one day and want to work things out but I'm conflicted because he pretty much cheated on me I deleted him off social media and after that he blocked me but we still talk over text. I have days where all I want to do is talk to him and days where I'm just like "**** him, look what he has done." The most success I have at not texting was a few days and then he texted me telling me to have a good day. I feel like I keep making strides at healing my heart but it keeps resetting to heartbreak but doing the NC thing seems impossible for me. I also went to the bar one night and on my way out I ran into him and his new girl.. it was so devastating. Some days I have are really good and some days I have are so bad that I just start drinking the minute I get home... I feel like I'm bipolar. I have recently started to go to the gym to expend my energy instead of drinking but my heart still hurts everyday and I don't know how much longer it will hurt for. His mom even messaged me and told me not to give up and I will always be her daughter but I don't think that will happen anymore. What should I do guys? Try for NC again? and sorry for the word vomit, my friends keep listening to me and supporting me but I think it's to the point now where they are getting sick of it and I feel pretty pathetic for still hanging on Edited August 4, 2015 by hellomoto Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Yes, try NC again. Also go to the gym more & do not keel alcohol in the house. Make it harder for yourself to drink away your pain. Actively look for another job. Link to post Share on other sites
changeofseasons Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 (edited) Yeah it seems that you need to change things up again Once you do NC permanently (i know that seems like too much, atleast shoot for a year at the least) like getting rid of the line you share, and block him anywhere else you might have him, you'll feel much free-er. It feels like you might regret your decision once you go through and maybe down the line in a week or a month after you might, but in the long run you will be happy that you did it asap. Feeling bipolar is competely normal, unless you have some intense or concerning mood swings i wouldnt worry about it. We all have our weeks where one day can be "**** you" and the next is "i miss them dearly" I eel like i practically post about this book everywhere but its such a huge helper; the No Contact rule by Natalie Lue is great, not too long, and i would recommend reading it more than once because it has info for almost every type of situation The No Contact Rule ebook and book | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue Edited August 4, 2015 by changeofseasons Link to post Share on other sites
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