kturner16 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 (edited) Hey guys so if you've been following my story, you'd know the pain and heartache I've been going through the past 2 months with my ex. he dumped me and then chased after his ex but they ended up breaking up (I don't know details about any of it). A mutual friend of ours has been telling me he wants me back and that he misses me but I didn't pay attention because I was still hurting and didn't believe it. While I was over my friends house, she showed me their messages and he was saying things like "I miss my baby" and "I'm scared to talk to her, what if she doesn't love me anymore? That'll kill me" "I want to be with her. No one else." (Btw we've been NC for about a month or so). He also said that he's thinking about his approach to talk to me and whatnot. Now I'm just so confused! He hasn't contacted me yet but wtf? After all this, he all of a sudden wants me back?! I thought having him wanting me back would make me so happy but now I'm just even more confused! Please help, how should I respond if he does contact me? I'd like to hear what he has to say but I don't know if I can trust him again after all the hurtful things he's said and done to me. Edited May 30, 2015 by kturner16 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Only you can answer if you can trust him, but from your condition that I can decipher from your sentences, this thing has an expiration date stamped all over itself. How would you respond depends on how sincere he would be. The only thing you of course should never do is succumbing to your anxiety and contacting him first. Link to post Share on other sites
SLee Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Erklat is right. When exes come back it's incredibly confusing and shocking especially when you've worked long and hard and been in so much pain. You need to decide if you want him back. Is he ACTUALLY sincere about wanting you back, or is it just because the thing with his ex didn't work? Is he ACTUALLY sorry for hurting you? (I'm talking kneeling before you, blubbering, begging for forgiveness sorry.) Is he DETERMINED to make it work with you, knowing that it will be WORK? Can you trust that he won't up and ditch you again? He needs to be genuinely remorseful in seeing what he's done. He can't just want you as a Plan B, which it kind of sounds like. Don't be your ex's rebound if that's the case. Make him WORK to get you back. Whatever you do, don't jump into his arms again. Until you make a choice, remember the hurt and what he put you through these past 2 months. And stick to your guns about what needs to change before you can commit to anything and DON'T compromise yourself. Ultimately, this is all your choice. But those are some things to keep in mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 If he wants you back, he should tell you himself, not use go-betweens to run his messages for him, which is honestly, what he's doing. Secondly, he had better not get complacent and start taking you for granted. It happens. People get their exes back, and after a while, stop working to re-build the relationship, because they believe the work was getting their ex back, and that work is done, so....? What? If he wants you back, he had better shpw it, and actions speak louder than words. Do nothing at all until you hear from HIM. And when you do, you had better have a plan of action for him with some conditions you can work on together, equally, to make amends and mend this. But remember: You cannot undo what's done. And this break up will always be there as a reminder that mending is never as good as new. If you sincerely work on it together, it may turn out well. But if this is just an immature and needy attitude from him, then think - very - carefully. Do you want a man or a big kid? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DexterLS Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Agreed with Erklat. Call me a pessimist but I wouldn't trust this guy but then again you know him better. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I think the only way for you to figure this out is to go TRUE NC for a bit. Getting updates on what he and his current/possibly ex are doing, and seeing text messages sent to someone else re NOT NC. You need to start at Day One and not cheat this time. No updates, none of your friends showing you texts, nothing. You haven't really done NC, so you haven't really gotten any of the benefits of it or been able to look at your relationship objectively. Link to post Share on other sites
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