got dumped out of nowhere

[john1992]

Hello,

 

So me and my girlfriend broke up out of nowhere.. We know each other for 5 months now and we went into a relationship after 2 months. We were in love and we had alot of fun, but everything suddenly changed. We never had a fight, when we were together she always had fun and never lost her beautifull smile on her face. we went on vacation from 7 to 10 april. It might be to fast to go on vacation that early but she wanted it. She was way to busy with her exams and we didnt have enough time to see each other. So she wanted to make it up and leave a couple of days together. So after the vacation we didnt see each other for 2 weeks. but after the vacation i had symptoms of an std (test was negative luckily) and alot family problems so i felt really bad and stressed. Cause i was thinking if it was positive i would lose her. I asked her if i could come to her or she could come to me i really needed her with this situation. She told me she couldnt come she was to busy with sport, school and going out with friends. she said we could meet on friday. But the night before went out with her friends and she went to sleep at around 5am. So i texted her how late she was in town. Got a message back and said if we could please meet another day cause was tired and needed some sleep. Weird thing was when we talked later she couldnt go home to get some sleep needed to help and clean up at her friends place. So i told her i found it a bit weird that she wasnt there for me in this situation were i could really need her help. Texting went a bit short like she was angry. I bought a rose for her and went to her house to talk. Conversation went good and we talked about the problems. She told me that it was like i didnt want her to hang out with her friends. Told her she was wrong and i find it important if she makes enough time for family and friends. But i just needed her support that was all. She understand and we talked. told me i shouldnt be afraid to lose her that will never happen. So after a week the last weekend together she fellt so in love and couldnt stop kissing me and touching me. Even said i love you so much to me. on monday when i went home we texted normally but everything changed the next day. Noticed something was wrong and asked her about:" I'm feeling a bit down cause of all the home work i gotta do. I have alot to do and i cant put it aside for a whole week.". I told her the days we were planning to meet to use it for herself for the homework. She agreed. Next day she was doing weird again when i asked and if i could be there for her or help she said: "you dont have to be there for me it something i gotta figure out myself. You can go and sleep you dont have to.worry about me i will be fine." she didnt wanna talk about it with texting and kept saying i didnt have to worry about her and i could sleep without worries. Next day i apoligized for being pushy to know what was wrong. Said she wasnt mad and needed space. Responded to me like she was mad and trying to ignore me. Friday last day together i called her home number and asked her parents if i could pick up my bicycle needed it for the weekend and repair it( no this wasnt a excuse to hope she was home and get a chance to talk with her just needed my bicycle). she had to go to school that day by the way when i asked her when she was home, she said i will be home late and when i am home i gotta go again immediatly. when i was at her place talked with her dad for a while and putted the bicycle.in the car. i drove away from her house and few streets away i suddenly saw her with her little brother in the car Coming from the right. I was planning to drive home immediatly. But her response when she saw me was weird. She looked at me and suddenly turned her head. Instead of going my way to her house she went a different way. But instead of going to her house she tried to shake me off with the car. I followed her one street but when she went a complete different way i stopped. I noticed her looking behind and see if i was still following. I only followed her one street cause i thought she went another way home. But when she went a complete different way i stopped.and start wondering. Should i ignore her and go home or go back to her place. But something felt wrong if i left and just ignored her. I know something was wrong i wanted to be there for her. So i turned and went to her house and noticed she was waiting at the end of the street to see if i was coming. I felt guilty to just ignore her and leave thats.why i went there. I walked up to her and she said you wanna talk i think. We went up stairs to her bedroom and sat down. She said:" i have alot school stuff that i need to do and i need some time for that. I dont think.we are a match cause you have all the time for me and i cant offer it to you. And i dont think i have any feeling left for you." asked her were this came from and how this suddenly happend. She said when we came back from vacation i started to think. and i thought you noticed it from me. I responded with no, we texted like always even she gave suggestion for next vacation and asked me to make a book with pictures of us. I asked her what the meaning was of last weekend and why she felt so in love and told me i love you. Got a response like she didnt know. she cried the whole conversation and kept hugging me. when i asked if what something i did she said it was her. asked her so this is it? Yes sorry she said.

I went to her.family and said goodbye to them. We walked to my car and she hugged me again. we said our goodbyes and She went back inside with tears in her eyes. Her dad even didnt see this.coming she was so happy with me. I sended her a email 4 days later with my story and sorry. We seperated so weird thats.why.

 

Her response to my mail was:

 

I've readed your mail and we had a great time together. But i have this feeling we growed appart. And i dont think we are a good match cause i think we are to different. And i found out i cant be in a relationship in my life now cause all the stuff i gotta do. You are really a nice guy and did enough for me but you can make an other girl happier i think. i wish you best of luck with everything and hope the best for you.

 

I still love her and havent contact her since. But 2 days after she dumped me she went back on tinder.. What should i do cause the only thing i want is getting back with her. I wasnt needy and clingy at all gave her all the space she needed for herself for family, school and friends.

 

 

 

John

[john1992]

The std story was some sort of irritation by the way

[joseb]

Sounds like she decided on the holiday that it wasnt working for her, and tried to drop hints by being unavailable for the next few weeks.

You will just have to accept it and let her go.

[NC-Thomas]

You want to get back together, but the reality is that you cannot control other peoples emotions. Therefore you just have to accept that this is out of your control and let it go.

 

Just promise not to stalk her, email her, app her. Also the best things is to remove her from social media.

 

I know right know, you do not want to do that, but thruth is, there really is no other option, unless the changes her mind, but that is very unlikely.

 

Go NC and move on!

[SoThatHappened]

Couldn't read the whole wall of text, but buckle up for the extreme likelihood she met someone else.

 

Trust me, I know the length of the relationship doesn't always correlate with the amount of heartbreak, but you have no choice but to go NC to heal.

 

Complete and utter NC, along with improving yourself. If she comes running back, she'll come running back to an improved John.

 

If she doesn't come back, another girl will notice John 2.0.

[john1992]

After the vacation of 6-10 April she came to my place weekend of 11-12 April.

We talked and she asked if i wouldn't mind not seeing her for 2 weeks. Her parents planned a lot of things to do with her, needed to do stuff for school and some of her friends gave 2 parties those 2 weeks. She only had 3-4 nights left that week for herself when she wasn't home late. And she wanted to use it to get some rest and study for school. Studies at the university by the way so she needs time for that. She promised me that the weekend after 2 weeks we would see each other. The weekend after 2 weeks was also our last weekend together.

 

Her ex bf treated her like garbage also a relation of 3 months. I never treated her bad and always made her feel loved and special. Her parents even told me she was very happy with me and always enjoyed my company. Even when texting smiled immediately and looked happy.

 

But her dad warned when i asked something was up with her on that friday when she dumped me. He said:''I don't know if something is up with her she is just normal like always. But there's alot school stuff she gotta do and she has that on her mind. I gotta warn you whenever she starts stressing with school she can suddenly say weird things like get lost and leave me alone. And completely forget about you cause she wanted to concentrate on school. Even we are scared for next year cause all the stuff she gotta do we don't even know how she will react. So be prepared for next year cause we don't know how she is gonna be then.''

 

That last weekend i went to her place she said she was gonna study on monday so if i didn't mind to leave after lunch. Normally uses the whole sunday aswell she told me on Monday. I felt a bit guilty cause she said that. But i didn't had to worry about it cause it would be alright with the test on Tuesday and would have enough time she said. But Monday when she started studying it was harder then expected and the test it didn't go well on Tuesday. That's the moment when everything changed and she started to act weird.

 

I'm not planning on stalking her or contact her at all. Cause how everything changed and how she dumped me hurted me a lot. The only thing i want is her to be honest and finally tell me the truth why it ended. If she doesnt wanna be in a relationship why does she keep looking for other guys. If she met an other guy so be it hope he treats her like i did or even better. All that i want is the best thing for her and that she enjoys everyday of her life.

 

If she wants to contact me fine and if she want's to get to back together it might happen if i don't meet someone else. But i am not planning on waiting for her and i am not going to give myself false hope. I still love her but if i meet an other girl its going to be her loss. I did enough for her to give her one of the best relationship. But i am moving on and looking for an other girl who i can start something with.

[d0nnivain]

It's good that you are moving on.

 

Be a bit more cautious with your heart next time. At your young ages faster is not better.

[john1992]

It's good that you are moving on.

 

Be a bit more cautious with your heart next time. At your young ages faster is not better.

 

Yea i already think a bit differently. I'm not planning to do things that fast like i did with her but take it more slower. But everything we did came from her side and was her idea. But to be honest i still miss her and love her. But it ended so quick without her giving any good clues that something changed. But i am hanging out with friends alot and working on myself now. And meeting different people now.

[john1992]

I'm almost a month now of NC with my ex. To be honest it is pretty hard a reason is because of the emptiness i feel now when i look at my phone. Normally we would text all day and when i would check my phone always had a message. Still heard nothing from her not even a simple hello.

 

Weird thing is i am more mad now at my ex cause i have a feeling she lied to me alot and used me just for the feeling of not being alone last few weeks. Even made a list of the stuff i didnt like or thought were lies and were lies. If i felt down i could read it and keep my head up and look straight ahead to better days. But even after all this there is still the problem... I still think of her and for some reason things keeps reminding me of her. Still have the thoughts of her and together enjoying stuff. I'm trying to tell myself i dont love her anymore and i am better of without her, but there is some feelings left i think.

 

I try to keep my mind off with doing some new things. Gonna try to take some archery lessons never did it but looks fun haha. Next week gonna buy my dream car and going to sport 4 times a week. I set a goal for myself that i am planning on reaching now.

 

So this was a small update how it is going now. It isn't so bad like it was before i can sleep better now and eating is going a lot better.

[Holmes85]

John1992,

 

Let me tell you what happened to your Ex Girlfriend, without going into too much detail and by headlining some things that you have mentioned in your original post.

 

 

So me and my girlfriend broke up out of nowhere.. We know each other for 5 months now and we went into a relationship after 2 months.

 

7 months you guys were together. I think the Honeymoon phase could have been over after the first 3 for your Ex Girlfriend (at least for her), after that she thought to herself "hmmm well is that it for me? I'm sure there are lots of guys out there that I would like to experience and have fun with, I think I can do better, I also got him wrapped him on my finger anyway, he's not going anywhere anytime soon". Which is also the reason she started to prioritize her friends more than you and spended more time with them, in short you became an option to her at this point not a priority.

 

 

She was way to busy with her exams and we didnt have enough time to see each other. So she wanted to make it up and leave a couple of days together. So after the vacation we didnt see each other for 2 weeks.

 

People don't end relationships because they have exams, it's one of the B.S excuses you hear repeatidly from someone whose not interested. That's like a wife saying to a husband "dear, I have a lot of stress because I'm having a baby, I can't cope with all that stress right now, lets break up" does that sound reasonable to you?

 

She told me she couldnt come she was to busy with sport, school and going out with friends. she said we could meet on friday. But the night before went out with her friends and she went to sleep at around 5am. So i texted her how late she was in town. Got a message back and said if we could please meet another day cause was tired and needed some sleep.

 

As I said before, you became an option to her, not a prioroty, hence all the B.S she's feeding you, knowing you would still be availabe for her no matter what she does and let's be honest, that's exactly what's happening right now.

 

 

So after a week the last weekend together she fellt so in love and couldnt stop kissing me and touching me. Even said i love you so much to me.

 

One final "act" she had to do before she closes this chapter, one last hurrah she wanted to have. She wanted to go out on a higher note, making it seem like she tried her best, when her heart wasn't even in it, that my friend is called lying not only to herself but you too.

 

 

 

" I'm feeling a bit down cause of all the home work i gotta do. I have alot to do and i cant put it aside for a whole week."

.

 

Her excuses are getting pathetic, wouldn't you agree? You aren't stopping either, you are pursuing her more and more, validating her decision that she got you wrapped around her, better than she thought she did.

 

 

 

She said:" i have alot school stuff that i need to do and i need some time for that. I dont think.we are a match cause you have all the time for me and i cant offer it to you. And i dont think i have any feeling left for you."

 

Translation: Pathetic! take a hint man, I'm not interested in you, good lord, this guy is head over heels for me even when I'm saying No, God he has no self esteem, I am pretty sure I can do better than this.

 

 

Her response to my mail was:

 

I've readed your mail and we had a great time together. But i have this feeling we growed appart. And i dont think we are a good match cause i think we are to different. And i found out i cant be in a relationship in my life now cause all the stuff i gotta do. You are really a nice guy and did enough for me but you can make an other girl happier i think. i wish you best of luck with everything and hope the best for you.

 

Translation: Listen dude I'm way done with you, I am either going to date this super cute guy who I've lined up before finishing it off completely with you or access my tinder again to see how much compliments do I get from other dudes, who make me feel like I'm a princess and I can't go wrong, guys would fold on to me one after another telling me I'm the best thing since slice bread.

 

I still love her and havent contact her since. But 2 days after she dumped me she went back on tinder.. What should i do cause the only thing i want is getting back with her. I wasnt needy and clingy at all gave her all the space she needed for herself for family, school and friends.

 

After everything that I've written above, why would you want to be with this emotional wreck of a girl man? She's going to destroy you tenfold if you keep pursuing her, all these fake tears, acts of being busy, time with friends is her playing with your emotions and here you are giving every opportunity to her to say "hey look, I've got my heart out for you" and she stomps it everytime.

 

I say you should cut this one off, for Life, gain your selfconfidence back, by the time you are healed and moving forward, you would look back and say "What the hell was I thinking back then?".

[Satu]

She seems selfish and completely disinterested in other people's feelings.

[john1992]

John1992,

 

Let me tell you what happened to your Ex Girlfriend, without going into too much detail and by headlining some things that you have mentioned in your original post.

 

--------

 

Thanks for reply holmes!

 

Those 2 weeks after vacation that i needed her the most, she knew i needed her cause of all the family problems and possible STD (was a irritation of soap). She came with all those excuses and tried to stay away from me. I was a complete wreck never been like that before. She was only willing to text or call. That's when i started doubting her a bit but i was blind and didn't see it coming.

 

But what you wrote down is a real eye opener and i thank you for it! I totaly agree with everything you wrote down, i can't say anything else then you're completely right! All those lies she told me and those excuses to stay away from me.

[john1992]

She seems selfish and completely disinterested in other people's feelings.

 

 

Yeah she was only thinking about herself. When she needed me i was always there for her. But after the vacation when i needed her the most she came with excuses and lies. That were also the 2 weeks after the vacation she told me she was losing her feelings for me.