laurajade Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 so after a year of a loving relationship my partner just randomly came out with that he can't be bothered anymore that he's been speaking to someone else and has feelings for them. this has come out of nowhere as we have been strong and getting along recently I just don't understand why he's done this and I don't no how to cope with it knowing he feels that way about someone else is absolutely heartbreaking especially when I have done nothing wrong I am struggling to move on as I don't want to he's all I want and the only thing that's been keeping me going recently nothing makes me happier he has my heart and loosing him is something I cannot handle nothing at all can take my mind off this as everything seems too remind me off him and the memories I'm hoping this gets easier soon as I cannot bear this pain I feel as tho I can't carry on without him as he is a massive part off my life Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Punctuation? He dumped you to be with someone else. I know that sometimes it's not enough to process. I was the worst there is in terms of healing. You will overcome. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I think part of the issue is that you've made this guy your entire life. You need to be able to do things without having a boyfriend. Having someone be your entire life is not healthy and you need to explore your own interests. He's just a guy. He should not be your reason for living, and you should not need him to be happy. Yes break ups suck, but this is also a time to reinvent yourself. Go take a class, pick up a new hobby, get a new hairstyle. You will eventually be able to move on from this heartbreak, but you have to put in the work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Love & relationships are not logical. I am so sorry you are in pain. He did the honorable thing by breaking it off with you -- even though it was out of left field -- rather than cheating. You didn't do anything wrong. he just wanted something / somebody else. Hang in there. You get to grieve the loss of your relationship because it is a loss. You got the rug pulled out from under you. But you will be OK. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 this has come out of nowhere as we have been strong and getting along recently Does that mean there were times you weren't getting along? Where your needs weren't being met? Where he was treating you badly? If so, that might help you to think about those times and be honest about how good your relationship was. Don't dwell but it might help you right now when your break-up is still fresh in order to get a healthier perspective. Over time, you will feel better about yourself. It's a blow now, but it's far, far better that he told you the truth rather than cheating on you. And it's also far, far better that you know the truth now before wasting any more years of your life with someone who wasn't in it for the long haul with you. You will be ok, really you will. Reach out to your family and friends for support, and take some time to pamper yourself right now. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 so after a year of a loving relationship my partner just randomly came out with that he can't be bothered anymore that he's been speaking to someone else and has feelings for them. this has come out of nowhere as we have been strong and getting along recently I just don't understand why he's done this and I don't no how to cope with it knowing he feels that way about someone else is absolutely heartbreaking especially when I have done nothing wrong I am struggling to move on as I don't want to he's all I want and the only thing that's been keeping me going recently nothing makes me happier he has my heart and loosing him is something I cannot handle nothing at all can take my mind off this as everything seems too remind me off him and the memories I'm hoping this gets easier soon as I cannot bear this pain I feel as tho I can't carry on without him as he is a massive part off my life First of all, you cannot put that kind of pressure on someone else. They cannot be everything for you, and cannot be the only thing that keeps you going. That's just not healthy. Your partner is someone you should be able to lean on when you're going through troubled times, but they can't be your whole life. When that kind of pressure is put on a relationship, it is too much to withstand. What you should probably do is take a step back and rediscover yourself and who you are. Ask those questions about why you don't feel complete in other aspects of your life, and work on those answers. At this point, that's what you need to do. Just take it slowly, and work on one thing at a time. But, work on it, because it will not only build you up to be a better, more complete person, but it will take your mind off of the relationship you once had. Do things for yourself - make yourself feel better, and take steps to feel independently happy with yourself and your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tone Loc Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. From your perspective, you're focussing on the terrible pain that's within you. You speak in terms of experiencing a loss and you've mentioned how this has affected you. As an outsider, the main issue I see here is that your partner left you to be with someone else. He walked out on you and on the relationship to pursue other avenues. It would help you to view the situation from this perspective because you'll come to see that you're better off without him. I know it doesn't feel like that right now because you're experiencing terrible pain, but with time, you'll slowly come to realise what's actually happening. He left you, don't forget that. I genuinely believe that you're better off without him, no one deserves to be put through this suffering and no one deserves to be with someone who isn't fully invested in the relationship. It'll take time, but don't worry, you'll heal. You'll find a better man, he'll make you happy once again and you'll look back on this distant memory and count yourself lucky that the relationship came to an end. You deserve better, and you will find a better partner. It won't be overnight, it'll take some time but just be patient. In the meantime, you must gather up all your strength and direct it towards moving forward and getting on with your life. I always say this, don't put your life on hold after a break up. Don't hold out for any false hope, don't wait for something that may never arrive, and don't let the absence of a previous lover ruin your life and make you miserable. I know it's all just words, you're struggling with the pain and so am I, believe me I know how difficult it is and so many of the people who visit this forum will sympathise with you and share your pain. That's why were here. We must try our best to move forward, I'm trying hard to convince myself that it's for the best. I'm trying to look to the future, there will be better days. Joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain, and sunny days wouldn't be special if it weren't for rain. This pain is temporary, it will pass. You're on a journey to recovery now, you will get better bit by bit. Turn to your closest friends and your family for support, and don't dwell on the person that you love. You can hold onto the love, accept it and embrace it, but you must move forward and let go of the person that you love. Link to post Share on other sites
davidromero43 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Go to the gym. Walk on the treadmill for hours. Smile at people walking by. Fantasize about some of them. Link to post Share on other sites
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