Reach out or stick to NC?

[prd]

Hey all,

 

-So girlfriend of 4 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago because apparently I didn't tell her I was going out with some friends (she has big trust issues, constantly told me in the past she doesn't trust anyone except her child). I think there were underlying issues that lead her to the BU too (possible compatibility issues). We were having "space" that she wanted, so I didn't feel obligated to tell her I was going out.

 

-She called me at 4 AM upset, saying "I'm not gonna play these childish games", "mature people in relationships let their partner know what they're doing", "I don't want to feel like I did 2 years ago" (I assume this was when she was with her ex who cheated on her), and just yelling and cussing etc. I was just confused and was just like 'what?' for the whole 40 minute call.

 

-She unfriended me on facebook, deleted me on snapchat etc. a few days later

 

-5 days after the BU, she text me "Hey do you have a minute?" I answer "yes" a few hours later. She never responded and I haven't heard anything since (10 days ago). Not sure if breadcrumbs/validation?

 

-The whole thing just feels unresolved and I never really got a chance to say or do anything. I'm not sure why it ended so bad and it felt unwarranted - it's not like our relationship was toxic or something horrible happened.

 

-So should I reach out to her and say what I want to say like to clear the air? or should I just stick to NC and let it go and move on?

 

Thanks!

[darkbloom]

It sounds like you never really got a clear break up message. Her actions are telling me that's what she wants. But if you need to hear it from her, then break nc. I doubt it will make you feel better though.

 

If you need it for closure and moving on then go for it. If not, let it go and maintain nc.

[Cinnamonstix]

People can can just drop you without an explanation and not even bother to tell you are not worth it. It's funny how she talked about childish games, but it seems she is the one playing them.

 

Sounds like there were already problems in the relationship if she wanted space. I'd say stick to NC and don't give into her games.

[NC-Thomas]

4 months and already having these issues is a major red flag. She is obviously not capable of trusting you = bad start for a solid RS. Better to end it now.

 

Stick to NC. She will probably contact you, don't go and wait for her but move on.

 

You deserve someone that trusts you 100%. She has to get over her trust issues before she can enter a RS.

[joseb]

4 months and already having these issues is a major red flag. She is obviously not capable of trusting you = bad start for a solid RS. Better to end it now.

 

Stick to NC. She will probably contact you, don't go and wait for her but move on.

 

You deserve someone that trusts you 100%. She has to get over her trust issues before she can enter a RS.

 

Yeah too many red flags. You are best out of this. I'd say stick to NC.

[Fufu]

i agree with NC-Thomas,

 

It's tiring to date with someone who don't trust you.

[guest569]

Another vote for NC. You should be able to go and see your friends. Seems a petty thing to have a 4am break down over.

[prd]

Thanks for the replies everyone I appreciate it! You guys are right and I'll be sticking to NC.

 

I'm partly at fault here because about 6 weeks into the relationship we had a minor argument and she made it into something huge. After reconciliation, she flat out told me "I'm not going to be easy", "I'm crazy and have issues no normal person should feel like this","I'm stubborn" etc. I should've ran for the hills then lol oh well lesson learned.

 

Thanks again!