Can't believe I'm posting here.

[Jenmarie]

First off this is long, sorry. Some of you may remember me from my success story post of getting back together with my ex. (It can be found here, if you want some of the background story)

 

After we got back together, things were amazing. For a really long time. A year or two, in fact. There was no insecurity, trust issues, it was back to how things used to be when things were good. How it was supposed to be).

 

Then things started getting rocky, fighting more often. Just bickering, nothing to worry about. Then randomly about 3 weeks ago, I woke up to a text of him leaving me (this was in the middle of the night). He also mentioned he is "not coming back." This was not like him at all. If he had a problem with something, we talked about it. We had a good night the night before: Spent time together, watched a movie, he stayed with me until I slept... Then I got that. Wow. Shocker.

 

Didn't beg, didn't ask. I just pretty much wrote, "If this is what you want, then I'll just be out of your life." He just told me "Relationships are not for me." Hmmm, strange. For such a hopeless romantic kinda guy, I thought they were.

 

So, he was gone. I knew what I needed to do. I did it once before. I'm so in love and hurt, but lesson learned right? Tried not to let the shock hit me too hard. Anyway, a guy messages me on facebook and invites me to one of his band's concerts and said he'd love for me to go. (We have mutual friends). We started talking a lot. It just happened naturally. Not a rebound or sad kind of thing. I was surprisingly not as distraught as some of you are, despite my love for him. It's just I went through this with him before and everything that bad has happened between him and me, I felt like I was done with it.

 

2 days later, he comes back begging to work things out. Explains that his friend and him were talking and his friend convinced him to do it. (His friend is a guy who doesn't do relationships, just has sex with women, etc). After everything I forgave him for, he follows through with what his scummy friend told him? Unbelievable. I decide to talk to him and try to work things out. We got into 2 arguments, because I was trying to get answers and he got frustrated. I started to cry, and he just got mad, told me to **** off, etc. I think that was it for me. I deserved answers but I did not deserve this.

 

So 2-3 weeks go by, I'm talking to said new guy on facebook more. I think we've texted over 4000 times in past 2-3 weeks. He makes me feel really good. I don't want a rebound, but I geniunely like where this is going. He makes me feel good, he makes me laugh. He doesn't spend 8-12 hours on video games all the time like my ex. He feels the same, and things are just really great right now.

 

My ex is just constantly begging for a second chance. Saying he regrets everything, I'm the girl for him, he messed up, he sees it now... I just don't know what to do because I obviously love him. But I like where this is going with the new person. (We're not dating or anything, it's just it's the beginning to lead to that if that makes sense. The flirting and what not). I guess I just need advice on what to do. There's just a lot of things I can't take anymore but I do care about him so much and a part of me does want it to work out.

[Fufu]

My take on this is you no longer feel that sense of security with your ex.

He seemed to like to pull stunt on dumping him and then begging you to come back. It has became a vicious cycle and certainly it's draining you out.

 

You don't have to rush back into the relationship with him, take your time to really figure out whether you really wanna spend your life with him or not.

 

As for the new guy, I think it's fine if you take it light-hearted. Nothing wrong about making a new friend.

[Simon Phoenix]

Be done with your ex. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He's pulled this crap twice. If you take him back again, there will be a third time. Don't get into a breakup-makeup cycle.

 

I'm all for granting people a second chance, because sometimes mistakes are made. But you don't get a third.

[makemehappy]

I'm sorry things didn't work out with your ex. I do think you guys rushed into the new RS. 3 Months or so of NC is not that long. Only you can decide if you want your ex back or not. The way he ended things was really immature if you ask me. But only you know if you still trust him of if there are any other things in his life that made him make this decision.

 

 

But if you don't take your ex back, I really think you should back away from the new guy. It may be fun now, but eventually when things get rocky it will come bite you in the butt. Cos you didn't take any time to grief or heal from your last RS.