Lishab23 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Hello all- I'm new to the site but have been reading some great threads so far! I'm looking for any advice anyone has please! Thank you in advance! So me and my boyfriend (I think lol) have been together almost a year and have living together for about 4 months now! I live in his home! We have been having a lot or arguments lately, the biggest thing that changed was our schedules. We used to see each other everyday now we see each other 1-2 days a week, besides sleeping and leaving for work! We usually get along really good have great times together and fix any argument pretty fast and fair! Here comes where I need advice! We got in to a pretty bad argument a lot of hurtful things were said! He left for 2 days very little contact says he needs to think but I don't have to leave! He comes back and tells me he don't want me to leave, ok well to be honest I have absolutely no where to go! I have no family or friends I can stay with and I also have no car right now! I can't get my own place right now have no money and a UD on rental history! I'm stuck!!!!! He says we're not over but not now, we need to step back and work on us! Also says does not wanna fix it right now! So what do I do? I mean are we on a break to fix the relationship or on a break to break up?? He does have a drinking partying problem that comes on when he's stressed or doesn't wanna deal with anything right now! I've tried talking to him to find out where we stand? How do I act around him? He jus says he's not going to put me out I have nowhere to go and I use his extra car to get to work! But he doesn't wanna fix us right now?!? What do I do? How do I act? I don't wanna nag with questions all the time but I'm confused! I love this man and I want to work on it but I can't if he's not willing. I'm stuck and confused please help me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It doesn't sound very good for the future if things are falling apart after just four months of living together. Where were you living before you moved into his house? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You can't stay there. You have to get out of there. As Ruby asked, where were you living before you moved in with him? If you already have a job, get a second one & get out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishab23 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Thank you so much for replying! I was living with my mom but she moved in with Her boyfriend I can not go there was already told that! I don't have a car and there is no buses by my house! I'm lost! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Thank you so much for replying! I was living with my mom but she moved in with Her boyfriend I can not go there was already told that! I don't have a car and there is no buses by my house! I'm lost! I can't believe your mom won't let you live on her couch for 2 weeks or help you buy as used car. Have you asked her? Link to post Share on other sites
kayla73 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You sound like you're more worried about not having a place to live than breaking up with your boyfriend. That's completely okay! Some relationships just don't work out. Don't stay with him for the mere reason that you have nowhere to go. If you want to improve the relationship, moving out is not a good option. Talking about your problems and figuring out why the two of you are fighting is what you need to focus on. If he needs to cool off, that's fine. Make the talk happen as soon as possible though. In the meantime, you need to starting thinking of a backup plan. That's good that he understands you will have nowhere to go if the two of you do breakup. However, it will be very awkward living with an ex. If it is possible, try to save some extra money. Take two jobs if needed. Where were you living before this? Don't worry about your pride. I'm sure there is somewhere you could go, even if it means sleeping on the couch for a few months. It's better than being in a hostel situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishab23 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 No my mom stated she can not help with anything right now! Her boyfriend runs her life it's bad! I've tried talking to him to figure out our fighting he's shutting down and says he loves me but doesn't wanna work on this right now he's tired of fighting! His family is all on his case now about it all, he jus text me said everyone's on his case he don't care no more, someone as to be the Villian and we all choose him!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Yes, you certainly need to start figuring out a way you can stand on your own 2 feet, and pronto. He could kick you out any day. You need to build a contingency plan for that. Right now he's letting you stay so I would keep quiet and don't upset that apple cart, just work on finding a way out of there without aggravating him to the point where he kicks you out. And in the future, don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position! Living in someone else's house gives you absolutely no rights, you can be thrown out with no notice whatsoever. You should never live in someone else's house unless you have a backup plan or a steady income with which you can get one. Link to post Share on other sites
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