LivingHalfAlive13 Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I won't make this long but I am just looking for everyone's input on my current situation. I was here 2 years ago from a 5 year relationship with a 9 yr older women divorced twice who left me when she got her life together pretty sure for someone else as well. Something I never really recovered from. Anyways fast forward to now I was dating a women for about 2 months and she dumped me 2 days ago because I told her I am uncomfortable with her being alone with other guys whether in a car or going out to eat or whatever. This isn't just 1 or 2 "close" friends. It's numerous guys she claims to know from 2010, 2005, 2003, from high school, just a friend from her class. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Or was she right? This girl has been with alot of people for 26 yrs old and 2 yrs of that being in a 2 year relationship. (Alot of guys is usually a red flag for me, but I looked past it) I'm hurting and second guessing myself, and obviously opened old wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I think that you were wrong to get into a relationship without having resolved the issues behind the demise of the relationship with the older woman, seeing that you "never really recovered"--you needed to get recovered from that to keep you from bringing your issues into a new relationship. Those old wounds should have been resolved a long time ago. At the 2 month mark, were you two committed and exclusive with one another? If you've got issues with her friendships, etc., with guys, then she did the right thing. You two are not compatible and she cut her losses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LivingHalfAlive13 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 Yes we were committed and exclusive. To the point of her telling me she loved me. I've dated in between 2 years but nothing official until this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LivingHalfAlive13 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 No one else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Work on getting your past issues well and resolved so they don't open up again on you in your next relationship. That is the best thing you can do for yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 I won't make this long but I am just looking for everyone's input on my current situation. I was here 2 years ago from a 5 year relationship with a 9 yr older women divorced twice who left me when she got her life together pretty sure for someone else as well. Something I never really recovered from. Anyways fast forward to now I was dating a women for about 2 months and she dumped me 2 days ago because I told her I am uncomfortable with her being alone with other guys whether in a car or going out to eat or whatever. This isn't just 1 or 2 "close" friends. It's numerous guys she claims to know from 2010, 2005, 2003, from high school, just a friend from her class. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Or was she right? This girl has been with alot of people for 26 yrs old and 2 yrs of that being in a 2 year relationship. (Alot of guys is usually a red flag for me, but I looked past it) I'm hurting and second guessing myself, and obviously opened old wounds.You were neither right nor wrong. You were right for you. She was right for her. Whether your suspicions were justified or not is beside the question. You simply didn't see eye to eye on the matter. Given that you couldn't live with it, and she couldn't live with you not living with it, you both did well. May you both find people more compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 You are both entitled to have boundaries. If they are her friends she can spend time with them. If you told her she can't, she was right to walk. If you don't want somebody you are dating to spend time alone with EX-BFs you can make that a deal breaker. If you are so insecure that you can't handle her interacting with members of the opposite sex, you are entitled to share that perspective but she is also entitled to walk Frankly at 60 days in, I would also dump anybody who tried to tell me how I can spend my time & who I can be friends with. You have clarify the situations. I have been driven places by male colleagues & eat meals with them. It was work, not sexual. To have some guy I was dating try to tell me that he forbid me to do that would not sit well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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