Reality015 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Hi all new member here & would love some advice I'm having trouble dealing with a recent breakup with my ex. We split up a few weeks ago & we tried to stay friends however I realised talking everyday was not going to let me move/us forward. I suggested numerous times that we hold go NC against her wishes. I have tried 4 or 5 times now to do this. She has said every time that she will respect my wishes. This last approx 24 hours then she breaks NC. Once again I told her we must go NC. She basically said she can't & she is having trouble detaching herself after we have been in touch every day for the past year or so. She said she will contact me when she feels the need & has no choice to block it out & start dating again. I understand that NC is very hard to do though I am now starting to feel she is totally disrespecting my wishes. Can someone slap me in the face & give me some insight into this. Reality Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 You don't need the other person to do NC with you. You do NC, and they can do whatever they want to do. What they do doesn't matter, because you are doing NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Reality015 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 You don't need the other person to do NC with you. You do NC, and they can do whatever they want to do. What they do doesn't matter, because you are doing NC. Yes I know you are right. I guess i'm having trouble letting go as she keeps contacting me & wants to stay in touch. I don't want to be the bad guy but it looks like I have no choice. I wanted this to end on good/respectful terms. The only way she said she will stop contacting me if I block her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Yes I know you are right. I guess i'm having trouble letting go as she keeps contacting me & wants to stay in touch. I don't want to be the bad guy but it looks like I have no choice. I wanted this to end on good/respectful terms. The only way she said she will stop contacting me if I block her? Then block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Delete and block her on every possible communication avenue open to the two of you. Like Satu said, you don't need her permission or blessing to go NC, you just do it and you do it for yourself in order to heal and move on. There is nothing "bad guy" about NC. She broke up with you right? So from that point whatever you do in your life is none of her damn business and she is some other kind of dizzy and rude to say that she will contact you when she feels the need. As if you are some blow up doll that she pumps up and uses when she feels like, then discards when she's done. go NC for real, you will thank yourself for it later. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Reality015 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 There is nothing "bad guy" about NC. She broke up with you right?. Technically she initiated the breakup & I agreed. She was begging to see me this weekend & I said no it's not going to work we need to detach. Thing is I don't know if it's a control thing now she knows she hasn't got me or genuine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Technically or not, she has made the choice not to be with you as a partner so accept the reality of the situation for what it is and move on. It doesn't matter what the reasons for her action are. What matters is that you two are no longer together and you now need to start the process of moving on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 She's not, narcissism is completely different but she's seems to have some abandonment issues. Block her and go full NC there's nothing wrong with that, moving on isn't a bad guy's move. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts