How would you explain heartbreak?

[SethDamien]

My Ex gf is naive. Recalling our last conversation, she doesnt understand the concept of heartbreak. She wonders why i cant just be happy? why do i have the urge to look for her? etc.. I was her first lover, so i kind of get where she's at.

 

She's right though, but no heartbroken person, no matter how numb they are, would deny at some point they would long for their lost partner. (But its up to us to decide if we act on it or not)

 

Its a docile emotion embedded in our subconscious. No matter how hard we tell ourselves to be happy, it always knocks itself back to us. One moment we're happy, the next, we're crying our eyes out.

Sometimes it hits hard at unexpected moments. And just when you thought you're over them, BAM! you'd have a romantic dream about them and wake up crying.

 

so, back to the question, how would you explain heartbreak?

 

for me, the one best suited in my situation is, "heartbreak isnt something we build in our thoughts. It just happens. If for some reason I could undo our years and memories together, i would have preferred that over having you back."

[Jonp219]

It's probably the worst feeling in existence (to me anyway).

I lost 15 lbs. in 2 weeks and only ate 3 meals in 9 days.

I've felt like crying at random moments.

All women look ugly to me, I couldn't imagine sleeping with anyone at this moment.

I can't even listen to music because it makes me nostalgic.

I have poor bowel movements, and random stomach aches.

And the list goes on...

Almost makes you want to give up on love after you're done healing, so you won't have to go through this torture again.

[Op17]

It's a sharp unhelpable pain in your chest that takes forever to go away. You lose your appetite and all interest in everything you like to do, especially in the beginning when it's fresh. You spend a lot of time dwelling on what happened and what you could have done to avoid the way the relationship played out. You'll feel very confused on why things happened, especially if there wasn't any closure and always find yourself trying to put the pieces together in your head.

 

You feel like they're the only person that could make this pain go away if they just take you back. You'll also feel very anxious and probably might do things that you'll regret in the future to try and save the relationship. It goes away temporarily when you goto sleep, but as soon as you wake up that person or what happened is the first thing on your mind. You also lose the urge to leave the house because you don't want to be around other people.

 

Over time it does fade though and there isn't any specific time frame it goes away either, it could takes weeks, months or years. Everybody is different, but it's something we all go through or might deal with eventually in life.

Edited March 6, 2015 by Op17

[mightycpa]

Heartbreak is coming to terms with the disappointment and betrayal that you feel when you are trying to accept that the love you once shared with somebody is no longer shared. It is trying to reconcile your disbelief with what you know is reality.

[SethDamien]

It's probably the worst feeling in existence (to me anyway).

I lost 15 lbs. in 2 weeks and only ate 3 meals in 9 days.

I've felt like crying at random moments.

All women look ugly to me, I couldn't imagine sleeping with anyone at this moment.

I can't even listen to music because it makes me nostalgic.

I have poor bowel movements, and random stomach aches.

And the list goes on...

Almost makes you want to give up on love after you're done healing, so you won't have to go through this torture again.

 

3 meals in 9 days? i also lost my appetite but not that intense as yours!, maybe 1 meal a day. i just never felt the need to eat as much, i still dont know why.

 

regarding your view on women, i also feel the same way, i always compare my ex with women i see and i have to say i cant find anyone more attractive than her.

[SethDamien]

It's a sharp unhelpable pain in your chest that takes forever to go away. You lose your appetite and all interest in everything you like to do, especially in the beginning when it's fresh. You spend a lot of time dwelling on what happened and what you could have done to avoid the way the relationship played out. You'll feel very confused on why things happened, especially if there wasn't any closure and always find yourself trying to put the pieces together in your head.

 

You feel like they're the only person that could make this pain go away if they just take you back. You'll also feel very anxious and probably might do things that you'll regret in the future to try and save the relationship. It goes away temporarily when you goto sleep, but as soon as you wake up that person or what happened is the first thing on your mind. You also lose the urge to leave the house because you don't want to be around other people.

 

Over time it does fade though and there isn't any specific time frame it goes away either, it could takes weeks, months or years. Everybody is different, but it's something we all go through or might deal with eventually in life.

 

Im currently at the hoping stage. nothing else seems to comfort me than the idea of reconciling with my ex and having her back. I already had a number of fantasies lined up in my head of what im gonna do to win her back, and what im gonna do to keep her. Im filling my head with dreams that she'll one day accept my plea, or that she's gonna be the one to approach me... Im even pinning my hopes that one day she'll come back, maybe months or years from now, sounds desperate, but i keep telling myself that if i really love her, i will wait.

 

i wish this is just a phase. Ive heard from another LSmember that its only natural to hope, but that hope will fade in time, and the wounds will heal shortly. But still, i see others still hoping for a chance 2-3 years after break up. i wonder where i'll fall.

[rollercoaster11]

I am sitting here in my child's hospital room and trying to keep busy. I decided to log in and I saw your thread and I must say that this is the best thread that I have read on here since becoming a member. Its so profound and gets me to thinking about so much. It helps me to put things into perspective. What is heart break....your words looked at both the dumper and dumpee's view point or should for the dumper...some how I think the dumpee totally gets it. Thanks for taking my mind off of things.

[Light Breeze]

My view (dumpee's): It's realizing that the person you thought would be there for you through thick and thin, feels the opposite.

 

For me, heartbreak and disillusionment are close relatives.

[SethDamien]

I was the dumper in my past relationship.

 

Before i broke up with girl A, 4 years ago, i was already texting girl B (my recent ex).

I guess some dumpers don't want to be left single for long that they look for a potential partner while still inside a relationship. Yes, yes, im an ass, i just jumped into another relationship the day after we broke up.

 

The thing is, i never felt remorse for girl A because i was so filled with bliss with finding this new girl (girl B) who i find more attractive.

 

My girl A told me "what you've done to me will come back to bite you, and when it does, you'll remember me" -- and i have to say, being the dumpee now, im remembering what she said quite often

[Jonp219]

Im currently at the hoping stage. nothing else seems to comfort me than the idea of reconciling with my ex and having her back. I already had a number of fantasies lined up in my head of what im gonna do to win her back, and what im gonna do to keep her. Im filling my head with dreams that she'll one day accept my plea, or that she's gonna be the one to approach me... Im even pinning my hopes that one day she'll come back, maybe months or years from now, sounds desperate, but i keep telling myself that if i really love her, i will wait.

 

i wish this is just a phase. Ive heard from another LSmember that its only natural to hope, but that hope will fade in time, and the wounds will heal shortly. But still, i see others still hoping for a chance 2-3 years after break up. i wonder where i'll fall.

 

Wow, this is exactly how I feel...

 

Our relationship wasn't bad, but it was toxic due to my anger and insecurity issues. I'm now currently in therapy doing my best to get better. Hopefully me and her can hash things out in the long run.

 

We've gone away for days and never had any major arguments, and had plans of moving in together in the future. I need to find myself before me and her ever get back in a relationship together (or any relationship). But for now I have to treat it like it's over (because it is).

[MissLilly]

“What do you say when you feel your life is taken right from your chest, even though I miraculously find myself still breathing?” Jason F. Wright

 

Wild hearts can't be broken.

[Kinetica84]

I've come to look at it as strength and conditioning.

 

When i use to compete in martial arts, my strength and condition coach would put us through it. It was brutal, pushed beyond exhaustion, going through the pain barrier, throwing up, being beat down.

 

Then one day, you don't get knocked down so easily anymore, you stop throwing up, the pain barrier is lot higher.

 

This is the same with a broken heart. It snaps you in two, but once we emerge from the other side we're carved out of wood and much more durable. I am not saying we won't ever break again but we are more durable.

[erklat]

It is a nuclear attack on the very foundation of your personality.

 

While you will come to terms with it and the idea of reversing time

and never meeting them will be much more appealing than the

idea of reconciliation, use it as potent catalyst for growth.

 

When the depression subsides, growth will start. Use it. Be the

best person you can be.

[SoThatHappened]

I'd explain heartbreak as the worst thing a person can go through.

 

Deaths present sadness, but not like heartbreak.

 

Failures can make or break you, depending on if you decide to learn or simply complain.

 

Heartbreak is an absolute b**ch.

 

BUT... and a J-Lo/Kim K. butt... if you can get past it, you can get past anything.

[Jimmyjackson]

Heartbreak is a weird feeling.

 

You create memories, you laugh, you're intimate, you fall in love, then one day it's over.

 

You go from knowing a person as a friend, to then dating them, then once you're broken up you lose a friend and a partner. You begin to question everything, were they actually that great? how could they do this?

 

I was devastated when my ex broke up with me, she has a new guy now but I also hear through a friend that she's still in contact with the guy she left me for (but couldn't actually be with, long story). Not sure what her current boyfriend would make of it (i doubt he knows), but it's none of my concern now.

 

I'm hoping all of this is making me a wiser person and will help me for future relationships.

[SethDamien]

Deaths present sadness, but not like heartbreak.

 

Failures can make or break you, depending on if you decide to learn or simply complain.

 

Heartbreak is an absolute b**ch.

 

Yes, this is my exact thoughts now!

 

Death is sadness

same goes for others--failures, financial/career problems, etc... they present discomfort but not any real pain.

 

My dad just died of cancer last year.

I have a bit of financial problem now.

Also had a spat with my family.

I have friends but those who i cant bother most of the time, so i'm forced in solitude.

 

But honestly, the thing that's bothered me most is losing my GF.

 

I hear this a lot:

"i can handle all the problems life throws at me--as long as we're together"

 

Its so cliche. But only now have i genuinely understood that statement.

[Seeker12]

I can still remember my moment of heartbreak, this was about a month after we had mutually broken up, it dawned on me, after that the emotional roller coaster began. My heart literally physically felt like it was ripping, i felt suffocated, i couldnt eat properly for a week, and finally, and i have been told by those close to me this, the happiness and "light" to my face was gone to be replaced with a darkness.