What she wants from me

[Aries82]

Here we go again. I want to thank all of you who were there for me, for all advices in mine most hardest times, thank you. Once again I need help and advice what to do about my dumper, she cant leave me alone. She brings me on the beginning of all of this, all of my pain come on the surface again and I do not want that anymore.

I found a job, I have few new friends, I started living again, I was feeling much better,but I do miss her every minute of my day and I live with that. Last time when we had a contact (in January) I wrote her a mail, really crazy mail, full of rage, I wrote her very nasty things and told her to leave me alone. She responded on that and said "maybe some day we can find a peace" and I left her alone again,disappeared again.

Last week she called me on skype, I ignored, yesterday she called me on phone I did not see who it was (I was at my work) so I picked up. When I recognized her voice I lost control, started to shake, it was make me a sick in my stomach. She asked do I have a minute, she wanted to chat with me. I told her that I was at my work and I was rude, but asked her to be on skype tomorrow she agreed, because I wanted to end this endless circle of torture.

I charged myself with all negative emotions and reminded myself at all things that she did and what she said to me at the end of us. In short :She was reading a book (Brutal honesty) and that book woke up in her the urge to talk to me, that she said. She was very polite, I was mad at her, asked her what she wants from me and to leave me alone. I told her that now she has everything what it is important in her life (her friends with all great advices about us-irony) and that she left the only thing it was on her way to be happy (me). She said that is not truth (she proved opposite of that). She apologized for not writing to me because she is not feeling well, has a hard time with all of this.I told her please do not write me that I cant go on the beginning of all of this again and again. She was justifying herself proofing that she cares about me. She ask me to write to her the nice mails (I do not know what she wants), she was also crying, so did I.

I was really mad and rude, and now full of pain again. I do love her and I miss her, but she is playing with me. She knows that she is selfish, but cant help herself, she said. I do not know what to do I am scared of my feelings, rejections, humiliations again.I am confused. Please any advice.

[marcelo.santos]

Here we go again. I want to thank all of you who were there for me, for all advices in mine most hardest times, thank you. Once again I need help and advice what to do about my dumper, she cant leave me alone. She brings me on the beginning of all of this, all of my pain come on the surface again and I do not want that anymore.

I found a job, I have few new friends, I started living again, I was feeling much better,but I do miss her every minute of my day and I live with that. Last time when we had a contact (in January) I wrote her a mail, really crazy mail, full of rage, I wrote her very nasty things and told her to leave me alone. She responded on that and said "maybe some day we can find a peace" and I left her alone again,disappeared again.

Last week she called me on skype, I ignored, yesterday she called me on phone I did not see who it was (I was at my work) so I picked up. When I recognized her voice I lost control, started to shake, it was make me a sick in my stomach. She asked do I have a minute, she wanted to chat with me. I told her that I was at my work and I was rude, but asked her to be on skype tomorrow she agreed, because I wanted to end this endless circle of torture.

I charged myself with all negative emotions and reminded myself at all things that she did and what she said to me at the end of us. In short :She was reading a book (Brutal honesty) and that book woke up in her the urge to talk to me, that she said. She was very polite, I was mad at her, asked her what she wants from me and to leave me alone. I told her that now she has everything what it is important in her life (her friends with all great advices about us-irony) and that she left the only thing it was on her way to be happy (me). She said that is not truth (she proved opposite of that). She apologized for not writing to me because she is not feeling well, has a hard time with all of this.I told her please do not write me that I cant go on the beginning of all of this again and again. She was justifying herself proofing that she cares about me. She ask me to write to her the nice mails (I do not know what she wants), she was also crying, so did I.

I was really mad and rude, and now full of pain again. I do love her and I miss her, but she is playing with me. She knows that she is selfish, but cant help herself, she said. I do not know what to do I am scared of my feelings, rejections, humiliations again.I am confused. Please any advice.

 

Even she is playing with you, I think that would be better for you if you control yourself and be very polite to her instead of being mad, rude.

 

Why are you being so mad with her? I know that she did things that have hurt you on the last months - its really important to remember how this have hurt you but it will not help you to have rage against her.

 

If you love her - you need to decide if you will listen what she have to say politely or if you will ignore her forever and continue NC (red pill or blue pill) - In my opinion, there is no better choice - you need to decide if you will continue moving on or if you will risk all again and go to a NC 0.

 

No matter your choice: Dont bring rage to your decision, dont try a revenge attitude - try to be cool - read again the The All-New 2014 No Contact Guide! - see the section "Q. I've been on NC for some time and my Ex just contacted me, what do I do?

 

Good luck!

[Ieris]

Block her from your phone. Block her from your emails. Block her on social media. Don't let her play you around anymore... x

[Aries82]

Thank you for your responds and advices, you are all great people and I do not know what to do without you. Well, when I was polite and nice, crying and begging for answers she told me to f... off and called me a fool on her FB wall and all our friends seen that. She had no good enough reason to leave me so she used some of our arguments from our past (even years ago) as a reason for leaving me, that is why I am so mad at her and have no patience for her anymore. I did not block her because I was hoping that some day she will say I am sorry or say real reason, I do not care about that anymore, and I was hoping that she will try to get me back (I am really a fool). She also showed up at my doorstep in December trying to justifying her reasons and offer me a friendship, I refused that and told her I still love you and I cant be your friend.I also made few mistakes by trying to contact her by mail after her showing up (she drove 4 hours for that) and she was very short in her answers or ignoring me, so I lost a temper and told her that I am not a toy and leave me alone. But now again, what she wants from me, it is confusing. I am sad, mad and I think I am going crazy.

[xinaxxsdertf]

it sounds like she misses you man and may be regretting her decision to leave you? but be cautious because she may also just be feeling too guilty for hurting you and just be trying to make sure you are okay now to make herself feel better.

 

If you still have love for her but you can control your emotions and not let her hurt you anymore then I suggest you let her have her say. Dont be angry at her though. If she tries to get back with you, just hear her out and that will always give you the choice of taking her back or carrying on with life.

 

I know she definitely hurt you leaving you and especially with what she did and said but you should let go of the grudge. If you let her talk and you are still upset from the break up, then after shes done having her say then its your turn. thats where you just tell her "sorry but I cant go there again, you broke my heart and my trust so it will never work again". She is trying to reach out to you but you are right, if its just for friendship then just kindly decline her offer and tell her its too unhealthy for your life now.

 

You cant hold this anger and rage on her though, it will turn you into a bitter man. This is where you just decide what you want. Be like her and put yourself first, be selfish. She left you so its you that now holds the power. If you know you can live without her now then let her go and politely tell her you cant do it. Dont go taking her back out of pity, think of yourself. what do you want.

 

Goodluck buddy