st peter Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 basically i have got through the initial shock and pain of being dumped. I'm well on the way to being over her as well. however, after 3 months or so NC i find out from here what has been going on in her life, and what her plans are for the future. to sum up, she has made a collection of horrible decisions which i have discussed with my family and friends and they all unfortunately say are the worst they have ever heard. alienated all her friends and now she has packed in education, amongst other things, she seems to have gone mad. for me, its a new kind of sad, i know i can't do anything, but its messing me up the thought of the trajectory she has taken. i really did love her as well, it was a serious relationship which ended appallingly (on her part). has anyone else had to deal with this (as the one who was dumped), do you eventually just not care? and is there any reason i should ever reach out to her? lastly, I'm anxious she will reach out to me for all the wrong reasons? i know its best if we avoid each other for anything other than a sincere reconciliation (hugely unlikely) but if she is in real trouble i know i would feel compelled to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Conners Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You are no longer a part of her life. There is no need for you to be concerned about her life decisions however understandably you will be. Do not reach out to her and if she reaches out to you, make sure it's not because she's feeling lost/lonely. You just need to move on with your life. She doesn't want to be with you anymore so there's no point worrying about her life decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You should have no clue what's going on in her life. Doesn't she live in another country anyway? You're impeding your healing process by knowing what she's doing. Stop that. She died (in your mind). She doesn't exist anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author st peter Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 i didn't get back into her life, she started getting back into mine Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Because you let her. Don't let her. Block/delete/remove/change... become a ghost. You two don't exist in the same universe anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 ^^^ Yup. There's only one way that any info can be known by you or her. Because you let it happen. Radio Silence is the name of the game. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch!!! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 You are her EX BF, not her savior, not her parent. All you can do is hope from afar that she doesn't do any permanent damage but stay out of it. It's her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 (edited) your next girlfriend might object, exes know they get to play the innocent, when the girl gets angry about the ex, the ex gets the boyf to sneer at the angry girl claiming no sex is going on (while alluding to it) and that the girl is horridadjective see, you will be manupulated by the ex who wins game set and match, yeech Edited January 30, 2015 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 I suppose that there are two ways to look at what your ex is doing. 1) She's doing it because any woman who got rid of you has to be crazy, and now she's proving it. 2) You dodged a bullet, because you could be with her while she does all this crazy ****. I think it's very nice that you want to help, but most people who are doing things that others judge to be destructive don't really want peoples' advice on how to "fix" their lives. Your second best bet is to ignore it and your best course of action is to be willfully ignorant about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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