SethDamien Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I know there's a coping section, but the issue is still fresh so i'll just post it here. My ex and i live next door in an apartment and we work in the same office. we lasted 3 years. She initiated the break up months ago but we still remained friends. (bad idea) I tried to regain our relationship by staying friends with her but nothing was working, so i decided to take the big leap forward and cut all communications with her... this was the first time i completely cut contact with her. I removed her number from my phone, unfriended her on social media, I still see her everyday in the office. but at home, i avoid seeing her as much as possible... Im on my 5th day of NC now, but somewhere deep in my thoughts, im still hoping i could bring her back. Im doing well on my own now... for the first time, i feel im not as obsessed with her as i was before...I started exercising, eating right, having a life of my own far from her. But admittedly, im using this time to improve myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And im planning to ask her again in a month or two.. i know you guys would advise against it... but i love her so much... perhaps my mind would change through time, or... it might not... we'll see. what do you guys have to say? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 You seem to have made some significant steps forward. Stick to no contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I congratulate you on starting NC but I would advise thinking it will bring her back. You will just be disappointed. As in your last post you seem to not feel like you did anything wrong in said relationship. You're like one of my exes that have the mentality that cheating can only be cheating if physical cheating is involved. Emotional cheating is very painful to your partner and for some is actually worse than physical cheating. If you truly love her then you should try to understand how what you did broke her trust, hurt her deeply and ultimately left you. Do this for yourself because if you keep this behavior up in future relationships you will find yourself in this situation again losing someone you care deeply about. I'm sorry to say she has already moved on. I can say when I found out my exe was emotionally cheating on me I left and never looked back. The complete lack of remorse for what she had done and lack of empathy was the ultimate turn off and showed me she could not be trusted. There is no point in even considering talking to her again until you realise what you had done was wrong. Because even if you did get back together that issue isn't going to just disappear. I won't feed you false hope, I don't think you guys will get back together it's too broken now. You stayed her "friend" under false pretenses trying to win her back without acknowledging what you had done. Then you pull the plug when she starts dating so she knows you were not really being her friend (which is of course your choice, hell I'm not friends with exes). Just focus on yourself, learn from this relationship, don't make the same mistakes again. Good luck NC is the right choice for you, not to win her back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SethDamien Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Thank you Halcyon! Im sorry to hear your ex didnt feel like she did something wrong. in my last post, i was mad, i couldnt accept my faults and denied my cheating just like your ex. Also probably because the pretext from which I met this girl was only to talk about my girlfriend... but yes, i did have a crush on her, so the chatting/e-cheating went on... One thing i never fail to do is remind my ex of how i regret my decision. Even during the period of my e-cheating, I understood what i was doing but did not pay heed of the consequence... i told her that i completely understand if she can't trust me again for a looong time, but i felt more sincere than ever in letting her know that even though it would take years to regain that trust, i'll still be waiting for her. She did say she could trust me again "but you still have to prove yourself". But i know trusting again does not mean forgiveness or the guarantee it will bring her back... i agree with what you said... i should improve for myself and not for anyone else. Perhaps its my knee-jerk reaction. Its the happy memories nudging me time and time again pushing me to pursue her. But who knows, maybe later i'll wake up one day and realize i don't need her anymore in my life. But now is not the time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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