Samuraijack Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 So basically my ex-girlfriend dumped me after 3 months of relationship. The reason was that I was so much into her that she felt she wasn't making any effort and I was the only one putting all the effort and was expecting too much. So she took me for granted and initiated the breakup. Acted clingy for like a week but then Didn't talk to her for a month and after a month I just complimented her on a pic of her I saw on whatsapp. We had a very brief conversation. Then after two weeks, I saw her boarding a taxi near my home. I went to her and briefly said hi and how was she. She was surprised I wasn't acting clingy at all. The next day itself, I happened to send her a hi on whatsapp again. she saw that i had put a photo of my injured foot and asked if i was okay. The problem i am facing is that too frequent contact might make her think that I have started to persue her again to which she would again take me for granted as i was coming easy and she would play hard on me. I want her back..Could someone please help how to go about the strategy now? Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 No strategy. She's an ex. Sorry it's so hard and it hurts. She broke up with you. Try to distance yourself. No social media. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 She talks to me properly now. No negative emotions. I haven't talked about the relationship now. Just general well being. But I think if I continue to text her, I will never heal and she'll get the ego boosts she wanted as she knows I will be chasing her again. She knows she has me wrapped around her little finger. This has happened earlier also where we broke up I didnt talk to her for some 3 months and she thought she will lose her and she came back to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Back off. Go N/C. You are not over her. She is not that into you. You are still being clingy if you still want a relationship with her. NC, NC, NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 Thanks so much for your input guys. My breaking NC was a big mistake. Back to square one for me even after 2 months post breakup. I will not initiate contact now.see i was there in the picture ocassionally even after the breakup that backfired. But would she feel she has lost me when i vanish suddenly? Link to post Share on other sites
EmbeddedCortex Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 You guys were in a pretty short relationship. Why are you chasing her so much? She's not into you, while you are chasing her. At best, you are friend-zoned. For your own emotional health, I would suggest you stop contacting her and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 We were good friends for two years. She couldn't catch my attention till the time she initiated making out last christmas. She was into me and I used to repel before that. The tables turned and the roles reversed when I started giving her attention and it backfired and she pulled away. That's when we didnt talk for four month this year-feb to june. She proposed me in july and ended it in October. Basically i was very easily available and used to pamper her so much, spoiled her. she said she loved me but is leaving me for my good as i became so emotionally dependent whereas she was very cold at times. i tthing for sure shes not seeing anyone and didnt cheat on me. Its her 3rd relation and and my first so its becoming very difficult for me to let go. She is getting a lot of attention from other guys too that's why she is not bothering about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 Can i get her back creating scarcity and making her curious or have i done enough damage showing i am always there? i didnt talk of relationship, only general wellbeing..I will go NC and dont know if i may still seek her after NC but at this time i am not in an emotional state of letting her go. I have changed my phone also so that i dont message her on whatsapp after seeing her having fun in her life Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 No, you cant. Start NC and dont text her anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 I think I will have a hard time moving on as it was my first relationship, I will do NC but dunno if i will ever able to get her out of my system. It's DAY 2 for me since I broken the NC rule like twice. Need your blessings guys... Link to post Share on other sites
mav3rik Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 eventually you will get tired of chasing her. Just imagine, if you get back together, are you truly gonna be happy? Or will you spend the rest of the relationship thinking when will she break your heart again? chances are, if you get back, you'll be like walking on eggshells. always being careful not to disappoint her. you will try so hard not to make a mistake so that she won't break up with and you will lose your identity. Would you want that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 you're still pursuing her, regardless of how often you interact. she's over you and dumped you, and will treat you like any other friend. you on the other hand, are trying to read into every little thing that she's doing...meaning you're not over her. stop the contact and let yourself heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Its over. No contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 She contacted me 3 days back via whatsapp. Basically she quoted some random silly line I used to say to create humor. Liked it when she texted out of the blue.. Just replied with a "HAHA :D"... and again back to NC. Day 4 of NC for me now. Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 If you are getting tempted by her breadcrumbs you really just need to remove her from your life. Delete/Block phone numbers and social media. From what it seems you can't help but hold out hope she is going to change her mind. From my experience that rarely ever happens and if it does it's for the wrong reasons which just leads to more pain sooner rather than later. What you had is over and it will never be the same. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Replying with "just 'haha'" isn't NC. You're back to square 1 once again. Block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 I am still doing NC. Working on myself, joined a gym, gaining muscle mass steadily. I get regular urge of looking at her whatsapp every now and then, but I'm not doing it. I am not thinking about initiating contact in any near time. If she doesnt contact, it's her loss. If she does, however, I will try setting up a casual date and will keep it cool. Each day of NC is making me realize that I am okay with not having her around. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I am still doing NC. Working on myself, joined a gym, gaining muscle mass steadily. I get regular urge of looking at her whatsapp every now and then, but I'm not doing it. I am not thinking about initiating contact in any near time. If she doesnt contact, it's her loss. If she does, however, I will try setting up a casual date and will keep it cool. Each day of NC is making me realize that I am okay with not having her around. That is an awful idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 what should be done, then? our relationship ended bc i acted like a wuss, expected more than she could deliver and got upset everytime when she couldnt meet my overexpectations. no cheating was involved though. hence i would like to give this relationship another try. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I think you should just move on she left for this exact reason You cared too much Caring too much can put off feelings Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 @NoProblem What if, if and only if, she reaches out again? Do you think asking out for a short casual meeting is a bad idea? I think I can salvage this past relation if I get my nervous together. I did so much for her. She told me each time ho how she was with me. Just my neediness was a barrier that led to this breakup.. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 @NoProblem What if, if and only if, she reaches out again? Do you think asking out for a short casual meeting is a bad idea? I think I can salvage this past relation if I get my nervous together. I did so much for her. She told me each time ho how she was with me. Just my neediness was a barrier that led to this breakup.. This wasnt to me, but you shouldnt ask for short casual meetings. They wont go anywhere and keep you feeling like s***. Plus, your ex will CLEARLY know what you are doing. Answer: What noproblem said. To answer the question previously, there isnt anything you can do. You can only move on from it. You cant make her care or want to be with you, so even if you want to give it another try, it wont work if she doesnt want it. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 what should be done, then? our relationship ended bc i acted like a wuss, expected more than she could deliver and got upset everytime when she couldnt meet my overexpectations. no cheating was involved though. hence i would like to give this relationship another try. You're still acting like a wuss. Nothing has changed. Stop talking to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Samuraijack Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 I am not going to contact her. Not going to initiate a conversation, whatsoever, I just miss talking to her and being together. I didnt even get closure I had been gotten. Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 No strategy. She's an ex. Sorry it's so hard and it hurts. She broke up with you. Try to distance yourself. No social media. I agree with this. When I saw the title, I thought, "Too much? You should not be texting your ex - at all." Link to post Share on other sites
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