8 months no contact, I still can't move on.

[I'mNotYourGirl]

(Sorry for the long story and any grammar mistakes, I’m spanish)

It’s been 8 months since i’ve been dumped, and total 8 months no contact with my ex.

We have been 6 months in relationship which I know is not very long, but I fell for him very deep.

He lives in France and me in Spain. He was working in Spain but lost job and had to go back to home. We stayed around 2 months in online contact, I even visited him once and stayed with him week.

We had plans that after 1 year when I finish my college I will move to him and we will live together.

That was all his idea, and he keep repeat me that I’m the woman of his life and he wants to live with me.

Until then we will try to see each other when we will have possibility. Everything was good, he was talking to me almost everyday online, and then one day he gave me “we have to talk” message.

Basically he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, he met other girl that he “speak to her a lot” and he wants me to move on. Of course he wanted to “stay friends” but I couldn’t agree to that because he told me words that I didn’t deserve to hear, like: “you hurt me with your love, I didn’t want to be loved, you had illusions that we will be together but that is over, you was very good for me, actually you was the best girl that I ever met and I hate myself that I’m hurting you now but this is over”.

I must say that I was not clingy,needy, or I didn’t persuade him that we have to live together. All that was his ideas, and I even had many proofs for that but I guess he just wanted to make a fool of me.

I told him goodbye and I went immediately no contact. I deleted him from facebook,skype and other online places.

I started to meet with friends, go out, focusing on study, watching World Cup and doing a whole other stuffs to just forgot about him. I went to few dates but I didn’t met anybody interesting. So I just decided to let go of any relationships.

Then after 4 months of no contact he sent me a message on facebook ”hello..(my name) I would like to know about you”. He didn’t add me, there was only this message. I didn’t reply him, because I stayed many hours reading about breadcrumbs and no contact on this site so I just stayed silent.

The things is that I was hurting a lot first 3 months after our break up. My heart was bleeding like never before but I decided to stay silent until he tell me true apologies.

That was the only crumb that I’ve got, but I have big trouble with moving on. Of course now after 8 months no contact I feel much better, but I can’t let go thoughts of him. In my mind I repeat all things that we did together, all lovely things that he told me again and again.

I love him, but in the other side I can’t forgive him breaking my heart. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want beg him, or talk to him… All I know that I haven’t move on.

I repeat to myself that he was a player, I don’t mean nothing to him anymore, but my heart is not listening. I still have this stupid hope that maybe after sometime he will miss me and come back to me.. Sometimes I do check his facebook and he didn’t upload nothing new since our break up, but he added a plenty of new girls, and what makes me more curious he still was re-adding one 15 old year girl. (I’m 21 and he is 24 by the way) I have this strange feeling that they got some on-off relationship.

Anyway, I really need some advices how to move on because this tiring feeling of longing for him, makes me crazy.

[EmbeddedCortex]

hmm...so how long were you two together in person?

 

Long distance relationships are tough, and generally when one side meets someone in person, it's likely that they will abort the long distance relationship.

 

If you were together for 6 months, how many of that was in person? Everyone is different but 8 months should be enough to move on probably.

 

I would suggest you stop looking at his facebook though. It doesn't really solve anything for you.

[jackinthebox1]

8 months? You werent even going out for that long.

You have to make the decision to move on and i dont think you have yet.

Of course u arent going to meet my perfect after a few dates but you have to get out there every day, make new memories and friends.

 

Do not waste your time and tears on someone who does't care.

When you are your deathbead you are going to regret those 8 months you spent sitting on the couch.

[I'mNotYourGirl]

hmm...so how long were you two together in person?

 

Long distance relationships are tough, and generally when one side meets someone in person, it's likely that they will abort the long distance relationship.

 

If you were together for 6 months, how many of that was in person? Everyone is different but 8 months should be enough to move on probably.

 

I would suggest you stop looking at his facebook though. It doesn't really solve anything for you.

 

 

Thank you for your reply,

well, together in person we was 5 months, and at six month i visited him in France, and everything was ok. Month later he dumped me.

I know that i was naive for believing in all his promises, but we get along very good, never fight, and he seemed to be serious about us and made a lot of future plans.

I used to have boyfriends before,so heartbreak is nothing new for me but i'm mad on myself that i can't let go that dream of him. I know that it was short relationship, that maybe i didn't know him so well... so i don't understand why i continue to torture myself with that..

And yes, you are absolutely right. Checking his facebook, makes me feel very sad i really need to stop looking there.

[I'mNotYourGirl]

8 months? You werent even going out for that long.

You have to make the decision to move on and i dont think you have yet.

Of course u arent going to meet my perfect after a few dates but you have to get out there every day, make new memories and friends.

 

Do not waste your time and tears on someone who does't care.

When you are your deathbead you are going to regret those 8 months you spent sitting on the couch.

 

Thanks a lot, you are right,

you are speaking exactly like my conscience when is having battle with my heart.

I must completly let go that thoughts of him, but is hard because they are coming back every night..