my123456 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 My ex has a girlfriend but he continues to keep in touch. We work at the same company but at different buildings and we have to get in touch sometimes due to work. We talk about work most of the time but there are times that he is sweet and talk more than a co worker should. He would text me and ask me how I am especially when he hears I am sick. On multiple occasions he would send 'hugs' in his messages and one time he even said he wished he could give me a real hug. He even commented once that I looked nice in a chat photo. I still care for him so obviously this bothers me. Is he just being nice or does he still have feelings for me. What goes on on a guys mind when they do this.
Day.One Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 (edited) He's not doing it for you. He's doing it for him. In his mind because you're both still such great friends (you must be, right? Because you still are so close and chatty and caring and give each other 'hugs' ) that he doesn't have to feel like an ahole for hurting you. It's just him denying his own guilt. It's sometimes referred to as 'breadcrumbs'. As long as he keeps giving you his breadcrumbs, scraps of what you think is his 'love', you'll continue to hope. It's possible he's just keeping you idling as a 'plan b'. I fell into that trap, for 3 friggin years, with my ex. It's unbelievably soul destroying. Please don't do it. Tell him to quit it. If there's no other way of NOT having to communicate with him directly, formally instruct him to stick to strictly business related matters. Anything else is unacceptable. Read up on The 180 Plan. Apply it's principles to your situation. And move on. Edit: and BTW, it's not just guys that do this. Edited November 1, 2014 by Day.One 1
Arieswoman Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 my123456, Agree with the previous post 100% ^^^^ Tell him to stop it, just tell him. No excuses, explanations, just tell him to stop, NOW. If he doesn't then block him. but there are times that he is sweet and talk more than a co worker should. If he still continues to pester you, then tell him if he doesn't stop you will report him to a supervisor/human resources. Good luck.
Author my123456 Posted November 1, 2014 Author Posted November 1, 2014 ya.. i guess what sucks is i still care for him..
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