slipped halo Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Hi we were on a break due to my bf wanting space at uni anyway one week in it was my birthday and he wanted me to have my presents , when he came over he told me he wanted the break up permanent for now even though he still loved me . I was devastated by he was very calm about it all seemed very out of character . In my card he wrotd that we needed to live our separare lives for time being but I still meant lot to him and we could be best friends for now. If we ever got back at some point he would look forward to that day . It's been 2 weeks now and I rang him for a chat and he was very cool with me and ended the call quickly. Question is ... How can we be best friends if he doesn't even want to speak to me and if he wanted to rekindle .. Why has he left me ?! Is he keeping me dangling in case no one better comes along ? He's really close to a girl on his law course who he lives with by the way ???I'm so hurt and confused Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 You can't be best friends. You can't actually be friends at all. At least not right now. You need to move on like he is doing. None of this sounds like he's doing anything to keep you dangling, you're the one holding on. Let go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 slipped halo, If we ever got back at some point he would look forward to that day . = breadcrumbs. Is he keeping me dangling in case no one better comes along ? Yes. I'm sorry but he's just being selfish. Don't let him keep you on the hook and don't agree to be friends, it will only hurt you. Block him, go NC and move on with your life. You want to be with some guy who thinks you're amazing, don't you? Well, you won't meet him if you stay hooked up with this user. Good luck. x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author slipped halo Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Thanks I appreciate the comments ... Does it sound like he's got someone else then and is just letting me down gently ? He always said he would fight tooth and nail to keep me when we got to uni ... Ha Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Thanks I appreciate the comments ... Does it sound like he's got someone else then and is just letting me down gently ? He always said he would fight tooth and nail to keep me when we got to uni ... Ha It's hard to tell from the limited info. But does it matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Author slipped halo Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Well I'm still hanging on for hope .. Until I read your replies ... He cooled off towards me when we returned to uni he was always busy with his female house mate same social events etc and I seemed to drop off the radar which made me 'clingy' and demanding to see him. I was dreading this before semester because I knew they were already close (another guy lives with them as well ) maybe she's turned his head hence why I'm not needed anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Well I'm still hanging on for hope .. Until I read your replies ... He cooled off towards me when we returned to uni he was always busy with his female house mate same social events etc and I seemed to drop off the radar which made me 'clingy' and demanding to see him. I was dreading this before semester because I knew they were already close (another guy lives with them as well ) maybe she's turned his head hence why I'm not needed anymore When things change and women become clingy, it's usually a tell-tale sign that things aren't going well. I'm not saying you caused this, I'm just saying that you partially knew it was ending back then. Regardless of whatever is going on with him and his housemate, he's not with you. He's made it clear he doesn't want to be. Don't force him to be blunt with you, have enough self respect to just walk away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Hi we were on a break due to my bf wanting space at uni anyway one week in it was my birthday and he wanted me to have my presents , when he came over he told me he wanted the break up permanent for now even though he still loved me . Ask yourself: what does "permanent for now" mean, anyway? I think it means he wants it to be "permanent" at his option, and the "for now" is to keep you hanging, because, well, you might as well keep your options open, right? Do you want to be his "option"? His backup plan? If you can see at all the "hopeful" things he's doing as things to string you along so you will remain an "option", it doesn't look so good, does it? But then he's got that 'permanent' thing in there, so any amount that you try to push forward, he can resist: "hey, we're broken up, remember?" This puts all the control in his hands; you are just supposed to passively sit on the shelf so he can take you down and use you some day if he finds himself bored with the rest of his life at that moment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Breaks are precursors to break ups. Instead of making it clean & quick, he's dragging it out in a misguided attempt to spare your feelings. When he made you that promise about fighting for your relationship once he got to college he hadn't been there yet & the world as he knew it was a small place so it was easy to make you the center of that. Now that he's gotten taste he wants more & is off to get it. Do yourself a favor. Break up with him. Hold your head high & walk away with your dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts