zeeetaar Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) So my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere He said we that it was because i was going away next year for a gap year but thats in 6 months so i dont believe that was the case. He continues to say that he doesnt love me which doesnt make sense because literally 3 days before, i was at his house having a swell time. However i left pissed because he ditched me for dinner. He, being sweet apologised and said "I'm not letting you go until i see you smile". He also said he was going to give me a letter he wrote to me a while ago but didnt have the guts to give me. Unfortunately my train arrived so he told me he was sorry and that he loved me and i gave him a small smile. The next day he doesnt even bother to talk to me, which made me pissed because we go to the same school, he texted me if i was okay and i didn't reply because i was pissed. He talked to me on facebook later and i made it clear that i was pissed and he didnt do anything about it and so i told him there is something you can say to make this all better and he said "i want to tell you in person because its more meaningful" fair enough i let that go. The next day it was really awkward, i hung out with him and i asked him if he had something to say and he just awkwardly smiled at me so i threw a playful tantrum having a bit of fun but honestly i was hurt. He left to go home and i asked again and he said it but i asked if he actually meant it or if he was doing that to shut me up and he said "i dont know". So the next day he broke up with me. He made a speech about us not working out when i got overseas next year and how people change and that he didnt want to be with me anymore. he also said it would be better for me as i would get over homesickness easily and that im super clingy. which honestly doesnt make sense because im not. I give him his freedom i dont question anything he does. i talk to him in person because he said he doesnt like talking to me on fb and only for a bit. I literally do everything for him so that he loves me back. Not once has he complained about me. He may sound like a dick but weve talked about those issues before and im used to it. i asked him for answers after the break up and he literally said to me "nothing you do or say will change this, i said all ive wanted to say. I dont want to be with you anymore" I asked him to call me on the day we broke up and he did but he said he was out with his friends and asked if we can talk later. aaaaaaaaand its been 2 weeks. I just dont understand why he broke up with me because we were fine 3 days before and then bam its over? If it was because of me leaving next year, im leaving in 6 months and i haven't even been accepted yet and he knows this. Anyways, I've read that normally the dumper would talk to the dumpee after the break up but not one word has came from him. Someone said he was crying which is odd and just confuses me more. So why would he do that? Isnt he vaguely curious about me? Is there a chance we can get back together? Edited October 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 zeeetar, I'm sorry you are going through this. He did this ; my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere then he said this ; nothing you do or say will change this, i said all ive wanted to say. I dont want to be with you anymore" He has made a decision that he doesn't want to be with you. That is his choice. It probably has nothing to do with you. Your only task now is to get on with your life. Stop wasting your valuable time and energy trying to figure out what went wrong and why he did it. You won't get any answers and you'll just end up being more and more miserable. It sucks, I know, but you can get through this and it will get better. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
dclan Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 So my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere He said we that it was because i was going away next year for a gap year but thats in 6 months so i dont believe that was the case. He continues to say that he doesnt love me which doesnt make sense because literally 3 days before, i was at his house having a swell time. However i left pissed because he ditched me for dinner. He, being sweet apologised and said "I'm not letting you go until i see you smile". He also said he was going to give me a letter he wrote to me a while ago but didnt have the guts to give me. Unfortunately my train arrived so he told me he was sorry and that he loved me and i gave him a small smile. The next day he doesnt even bother to talk to me, which made me pissed because we go to the same school, he texted me if i was okay and i didn't reply because i was pissed. He talked to me on facebook later and i made it clear that i was pissed and he didnt do anything about it and so i told him there is something you can say to make this all better and he said "i want to tell you in person because its more meaningful" fair enough i let that go. The next day it was really awkward, i hung out with him and i asked him if he had something to say and he just awkwardly smiled at me so i threw a playful tantrum having a bit of fun but honestly i was hurt. He left to go home and i asked again and he said it but i asked if he actually meant it or if he was doing that to shut me up and he said "i dont know". So the next day he broke up with me. He made a speech about us not working out when i got overseas next year and how people change and that he didnt want to be with me anymore. he also said it would be better for me as i would get over homesickness easily and that im super clingy. which honestly doesnt make sense because im not. I give him his freedom i dont question anything he does. i talk to him in person because he said he doesnt like talking to me on fb and only for a bit. I literally do everything for him so that he loves me back. Not once has he complained about me. He may sound like a dick but weve talked about those issues before and im used to it. i asked him for answers after the break up and he literally said to me "nothing you do or say will change this, i said all ive wanted to say. I dont want to be with you anymore" I asked him to call me on the day we broke up and he did but he said he was out with his friends and asked if we can talk later. aaaaaaaaand its been 2 weeks. I just dont understand why he broke up with me because we were fine 3 days before and then bam its over? If it was because of me leaving next year, im leaving in 6 months and i haven't even been accepted yet and he knows this. Anyways, I've read that normally the dumper would talk to the dumpee after the break up but not one word has came from him. Someone said he was crying which is odd and just confuses me more. So why would he do that? Isnt he vaguely curious about me? Is there a chance we can get back together? To be honest...I've seen lots of couples break up after one moves to another country. The truth is that LDR are VERY hard, and usually end up in one partner cheating on the other. I think in this case, its not because he doesn't love you, he is just being realistic. Its possible that, just like me, he knows of some real examples of close friends breaking up. He broke up with you, so he can start moving on. In his mind, if he didn't do this, then his feelings of attachment for you would only grow which would make things more difficult in the future. I know it sounds like a stupid excuse for a break up, but honestly, if I was in his position, I might actually do the same thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 If you're Obsessed with your Ex-Boyfriend ? Learning to Let Go | Futurescopes.com Link to post Share on other sites
Author zeeetaar Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 My ex dumped me almost a month ago and i started with the NC rule but i realised, he gave me two very different reasons why he broke up with me was: 1) Your'e going to be very home sick when you go for your student exchange next year, and I know being away from me hurts you and it will make it difficult so I'm breaking up with you now because it will be easier. (I'm leaving six months from now for a student exchange) 2) I don't love you, I don't want to be with you anymore. I'm done lying to you. It's over and nothing you can say will change it So I asked if we could just talk as I just feel like i need closure but he hasn't said a word back to me. Its been about a week but his friend say he doesn't know what to say to me so i was just wondering what you guys thinks about it. Is he feeling guilty? does me miss me? does he still love me? or is he just really angry at me for some reason Link to post Share on other sites
dclan Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 (edited) Student exchange trips are relationship killers. In most couples, the person that leaves ends up cheating on the person left behind. Everyone I know who was in a relationship and had a situation like this, ended up breaking up because of cheating. You can also look some stories in other forums, it happens very often. My opinion? he thinks your relationship is doomed because of this, so he rather break up now, and start moving on. Trust me, most relationships that face this end up breaking up. The only way to survive it, is if you are both going together. I think I actually wrote this very same thing in another one of your posts. Edited October 30, 2014 by dclan Link to post Share on other sites
ruhrohcd Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 My recent experience has taught me to never ask why. The person doing the dumping likely either doesn't even know other than a vague feeling of discontent or zie is unwilling to face their own issues and will find previously accepted faults of yours that will be blown up into major issues in order to make the dumper feel justified in their actions. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Is he feeling guilty? does me miss me? does he still love me? or is he just really angry at me for some reason Look, you need to stop asking these questions. It does not matter one bit. If he wanted to be with you then he would be knocking on your door, blowing up your phone, crawling through broken glass to get you back. But he's not. Therefore all these questions is just pointlessly torturing yourself. I'm sorry to say, the fact is, he doesn't want to be with you and that is all the "closure" you will get. Now you need to get back on the NC train and get on with your life! Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 You dont need to know the reasons. Whatever it is its wont make you feel any better. Man are mostly coward and just keep beat around the bush, basically they just dont feel it anymore Link to post Share on other sites
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