heartache25 Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 (edited) Hey guys and girls, i need your help. I am 25yr oldman, my ex is 28, i met her when i was 21. so after 4 years of good times and also bad times, she left me, i was truely heartbroken. I lasted only 2 weeks nc, before truely missing her. i went to see her, we cuddled etc, she made it clear it was over from words. I tryed nc again, failed again and went to see her, now she is getting pissed at me, for trying to get her back, she left me, why i want her back? 3rd time strong on nc but failed again....saw her again, each time, rejection hurt me badly, sooo much. accept this time, we was txting each other alot! We had sent more txts in a week, than we did 1 year! It was like a drug, i was happy txting although could not see her. after 3 weeks of high txting, she said we must stop txting. This hurt! so monday gone, i had way to many beers, stopped at her house, just to see her, to try. She kicked me out, i fell asleep in her garden, then the police came, she had called them, they took me home. Its soon 4 month since she left me, i miss her madly, but i feel a stalker. i even text her last night and this morning, just for a reply.... I still have her mobile number, cant bring myself to delete it. i guess i really should, 4 month, still feel week 1 in my mind and heart Please, i need helpfull advice P.s i drink alchol rarely Edited October 25, 2014 by heartache25 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I'm sorry heartache25 but she doesn't want you. She's told you that and you must accept it. She kicked me out, i fell asleep in her garden, then the police came, she had called them, they took me home. Now this is silly behaviour for a 25yo and will only end up with you getting a criminal record, but I think you knew that anyway ? Stop texting her, repeat - stop texting her. If you persist you could be done for harassment. Now, get a grip on yourself, take a deep breath and delete her number from your 'phone. Now, move on without her. It's tough, it hurts, it's the pits, it sucks but most people posting here have had to do this at one time or another. Good luck and stay strong and most of all stay NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartache25 Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 She has told many times, doesnt want me, still hurts after 4 years together. I try to delete her number..i cant...but need to. Her last memory is me taking away from police, i embarrssed myself and her....soon 4 months on, broke nc many times, to be doused in flames of pain and hurt. I guess, it is time, to fight my feelings away, for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartache25 Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 Nothing is working, i cant bring myself to delete her number... i have been battling nc for 3-4 months and ive failed everytime, this afternoon i listend to music, tied a tie around my door handle in a knot, put around neck, while upset. i choked myself for afew seconds but removed it, for my family. Ihave no 1 to speak to, there is something wrong with me, apart from being heart broken, im clearly obsessed with my ex still. Is this cause we had been texting alot and now she is gone again. Do i need help from my doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
Bella2 Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I should definitely go see a doctor!! I'm sorry for your hurting, but it seems you could use some help...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartache25 Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 I think so, i tell my brother im depressed and go get other woman, and laughs...stuff that happens behind closed doors... Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartache25 Posted October 26, 2014 Author Share Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) Sooo...today ibe thinking The times i had been to see my ex, was at 2-3am, drunk... Although she left me, i dont want any grudges held. my ex,sister, is engaged to my cousin. Her freinds are my family. Maybe in a few month, her sister will have their baby christend at church, iam a god father, my ex a god mother. Last monday she rang police to take me home, i passed out in her garden. Now, ive been thinking....maybe if i drive to her house tonight, sober and just apologise how ive acted since the breakup, not pour my heart, just apologise, maybe get a fist pump, just to say were cool...i hold no grudge, i dont want her to either....im really tempted i must say... Maybe i should go to a telephone box and apologise that way? Before monday, we was texting alot and since i turned up drunk, i blew it. no more texting or speaking, i dont want the last memory of me, being took away at 3am, drunk My brother thinks iam obssesed with her, ithink hes right. i guess even going to see her to apologise is just an excuse, to see her but chances are she will just tell me fineee, and to leave her alone. he says the best way is, to find another...but iwould only think of my ex Edited October 26, 2014 by heartache25 Link to post Share on other sites
idoltree Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Now, ive been thinking....maybe if i drive to her house tonight, sober and just apologise how ive acted since the breakup, not pour my heart, just apologise, maybe get a fist pump, just to say were cool...i hold no grudge, i dont want her to either....im really tempted i must say... Maybe i should go to a telephone box and apologise that way? Before monday, we was texting alot and since i turned up drunk, i blew it. no more texting or speaking, i dont want the last memory of me, being took away at 3am, drunk DO NOT DO EITHER OF THESE. The last time you did what your love-addiction addled brain told you to do, the police were called. And now you want to see her again?! What???! Your pain is making you so tone deaf right now. You are acting selfishly and not listening to anyone, including your ex. You do not respect her right to break up with you and have peace after the breakup. Instead, you push and push and push and push. Do you not see that you have hurt your own cause each time you are pushy with her? Every time you contact her to try to make yourself feel better (don't lie and say you're choosing to do any of things for her, you're doing them for you), you push her further away. This is not love, this is need. You do not love her without needing her; if you did, you would respect her right to end the relationship and walk away. Love is not selfish and you are acting so incredibly selfish right now. How many more ways can she tell you what she needs, only to have you ignore it? Listen, what brings an ex back from a decision to break up with someone is a confident ex who leaves them be and finds their own life and confidence. THAT is what is attractive in the real world. The "I love you forever, I can't live without you" stuff does not bring an ex back. It only works in the movies. And you are doing none of the former, just the latter. Do you hear me? If you want her back - and you can do the best job at this and it still might not happen, it's no guarantee - you have to get YOU back. She can't complete you. She can't take away your pain. In your state, if you don't heal yourself, the relationship will just implode again because you've made her your source of happiness. Do not contact her. Do not respond if she contacts you. You need to stop this and get yourself back and contacting her is keeping you in this unhealthy loop. Start putting yourself and your well-being first. Every time you want to do something, wait. You can always make a decision to do something later, but once you do it, you cannot take it back. Your brain is not your friend right now, and you need to wait on every question and "good idea" that you have. Talk to your brother, post it on here, and people will tell you whether it is actually a good idea or a terrible idea. Also, because you are flirting with suicide, you need some help for yourself. Your thinking is extremely distorted right now and it is clear that you are depressed. You need to understand that getting over someone you loved is very similar to going through withdrawals from a drug addiction. Physically, it involves the same portions of the brain. You are setting yourself back every time you try to get a fix of her by seeing her or talking to her. You need to be responsible for your own well-being and stop looking to your ex to complete you. It is too much for one person; you are looking to her as your reason for living and that will drive someone away. Read this. Then read it again. Read it every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. You need to get you back, and it's clear you're not interested in doing that without her in mind, so this is your best shot. You need to let her go now. You need to regain your mental health and prioritize finding happiness without her. It's the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeNomad Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 Leave her alone and no more drinking man, let her go and decide for herself if she wants to come back, you cannot force anything. Youve already made a fool out of yourself you dont owe her any apologies, focus on improving urself physically and emptionally, with physical you exercise and you can start now, with the emotional it will take time and u cant force it, its an ugly process of emotions and it will happen whether you try keeping her in ur life or u dont. For now start improving where u do have control, exercise! Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartache25 Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 (edited) Thanks guys for the replys... i sent her one last email over a week ago, telling her i had been selfish in not respecting her wishes over the breakup and i was sorry for not letting her go so easy. She basically said she forgive m n no hard feelings and she is taking sleeping pills to sleep, as she thinks i will turn up drunk, as i had 3 times before. she also said this is very hard for her and i will never know how hard it is for her, and that she is trying to move on and she sid Just leave me alone, ibeg you. Once i read that, i said it wont happen again,sleep well She said she wont say bye, cause she knows we will see each other again, i closed my account to try nc again This time, im setting my self a goal. They are to...1quit smokings cigs, irs £8 a day 2 quit smoking cannabis, Gain 1 stone in weight I train at my gym 4 days a week, lifting, my self esteem grows, as my body does. i hope these goals will help me be more confident and to help me move on from my ex. I did also delete her mob number from my phone, but its on my other mob i dont use Edited October 31, 2014 by heartache25 Link to post Share on other sites
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