LoA and disappearing benches (change & moving on)

[blackcat777]

The 6 week mark was the beginning of when I began to feel glimmers of recovery, and I've been speeding forward ever since (it's 8 weeks today). I swore to god I was going to die until then... I think this has a lot to do with oxytocin leaving the body, which takes (surprise, surprise) 6-8 weeks.

 

I've had a lot of realizations in the past week, and letting go and moving on is really, ultimately the best thing for every possible outcome to my situation. This seemed incomprehensible earlier, when I thought, but what about if you love someone SO MUCH?

 

I'm not sure how I got from point A to point B entirely--but now I've realized that it is the best thing, even when you do love someone so much.

 

I'm still reading anything and everything I can get my hands on about breakups, and I found this particularly inspiring post:

 

YESS you can attract your ex back! OLD DNS post - Powerful Intentions: Law of Attraction Community

 

It's about the Law of Attraction and getting your ex back. The course of action outlined for people to take is what matters (regardless of whether or not there is an LoA that will "bring an ex back")... and what REALLY struck me was the part at the end about taking back your power from your ex.

 

There are so many things I haven't been able to do since the breakup because they reminded me of him SO MUCH.

 

I live in a beautiful area with lots of protected parks cutting through the suburbs, trees everywhere. I've known all the trails inside and out my whole life, but there is a particular trail that leads up a forested hill with a bench at the peak. The bench overlooks a river, there are big willows hanging everywhere, ducks swimming by, the music of cicadas, an OCEAN of lightning bugs in the summer... totally beautiful spot.

 

This became our spot. We'd walk in the dark, holding each other, chill on the bench, blaze, ferociously make out, and then walk home, hanging onto each other and laughing.

 

 

Anyway, I visited the bench once after our breakup and cried so hard. All I could think about was how there was so much love, so much love.

 

That bench has been there forever, since I was a kid.

 

Anyway, on the subject of reclaiming my power, I've been going on daily walks, but purposely detouring around the route we used to take because it broke my heart. Nope. Not today. That bench and I had a relationship before him, I walked those trails years and years before him, and it was stupid to give up one of the prettiest places to walk because some dummy didn't realize how great he had it.

 

I am one of those crystal collecting, incense burning weirdos that does take things like the "law of attraction" into consideration. I'm more specifically interested in how one's internal state is reflected in the outside world.

 

The past few days I've been thinking about how, especially with GIGS, the person you loved isn't there anymore, once people start experimenting with radical changes of lifestyle (and often becoming less desirable/more self-centered in the process). You have to let the relationship go because that person isn't there. He's gone.

 

I got to the top of the hill, and...

 

The bench was gone.

 

*!* Bench that was there forever. Nothing wrong with it. All the other benches along the trail were still there. For some reason, the city took it. Why, I will never know.

 

Anyway, I'm reclaiming my walking routes. I also haven't gone in MY OWN HOT TUB (WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?) since the breakup, because there were so many romantic nights in the hot tub... well. It's MY. FREAKING. HOT TUB.

 

As long as the Law of Attraction doesn't steal my hot tub, I think it will be okay...

[SoThatHappened]

Beautifully written post, blackcat.

 

At least the bench was removed AFTER you reclaimed it for yourself. Just imagine if you didn't have the courage to reclaim it and they removed it before you could have some closure with it.

 

It's little things like that that get to you.

 

The walks you used to take, places you'd go, shows you watched together, etc.

 

My ex gave me all the seasons of Breaking Bad to watch when we were together. After the breakup, just hearing about that show made me wince.

 

However, like you, I decided that I'm going to "take back" all the things I could from the time we were together.

 

So I did everything, and went to every place that we shared together. From fishing, watching television shows, going to cities, etc. I think it's a good part of the healing process, and it helps remove or repress the memories that you shared together at that place or doing that thing.

 

Get in that hot tub. Reclaim everything you can. Stay strong.