HLP234 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 I ended a 3.5yr relationship with my girlfriend about 3 weeks ago. Although I have brought up the discussion and told her, I still feel horribly depressed. My friends are trying to get me to forget it and take me out to keep me busy but my mind won't stop racing and thinking of things. I keep second guessing my decision. Overall, when I first met her things were great even though she is on depression and anxiety medications. Later she was in an accident and had to have even more medicine administered. When everyone left including her friends I was there. I did everything I could for her and even her family. She could not drive, so I did. Anytime someone needed something I did it. As the years went by she healed up nicely and was back to normal pretty much, it didn't take long actually. I later found out that when we started dating she had told me she was in school, well I found out she had dropped out. Oh well, I guess I could convince her to go back and I tried but all she would do is be negative about everything. Saying she doesn't know if she can yet, really emotional and defensive about everything. The same situation for work. I tried getting her to go to therapists and even suggested I can go with her if she wanted. She went a few times and then decided that no one can help her, or do anything for her (her words no mine). I would consul her and try to make her feel better but she had no self esteem at all. All she would do is just go to her regular doc and he would just up the dosage on meds. I didn't like this and tried telling her it really can't be healthy you should consider other forms of therapy. A lot of times she would just be tired, or sleep. I became unhappy in the relationship and told her this, we broke up for a bit and got back together. It seemed like it was always me that had to do something..she was putting her happiness in my control. We would constantly have fights over stupid things that she would initiate. Like me going out with my friends that I would see maybe once every 3 months. Again more arguments and she eventually would say go ahead you can go out but a week or two later would be an argument about how I went out and don't care about her. She was always invited but she didn't like my friends and never wanted to go do what they were doing. As I thought about the future I don't think it could get any better. She has no ambition to do anything, refuses help, and we would always argue. Her only priority seemed to be just to get married but I couldn't do that after realizing everything that was happening. I love her a lot and she is a decent woman but has a lot of issues that need to be worked on. So why am I second guessing myself? Everyone says it takes time and every day is just worse than the previous. Sorry for the long post. Link to post Share on other sites
thenotemakers Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 @HLP234: Thanks for sharing so openly about your relationship, friend. I can only imagine how concerning this must be for you to second guess yourself about this relationship and where you should go from here. Have you spoken with a trusted friend or counselor for advice? I know for myself there are times when I just need to talk to someone face to face who can offer some wisdom. I prayed for you and hope that you’ll find the right kind of help for your situation. TheNoteMakers Link to post Share on other sites
Author HLP234 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Yes I have talked to all my friends and they told me that they thought it was the right decision for my life. They mentioned they only saw me when her and I would argue and when they did see me they told me that I looked pretty miserable and unhappy. I was told that I shouldn't be held responsible for someone else's happiness that it should be shared. They also thought that since its been like that for so long people don't just change immediately. The little arguments and getting back to each other wasn't normal and that it was draining me because we would talk it out then later the same things happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HLP234 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 I seem to be having a worse time each day. Keep trying to think about it and it comes back even worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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