FailedFirstLove Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Hey guys I feel like my life is falling apart. My work friends who used to keep me some what distracted have now found new jobs, moved away. Everyone's too busy to talk and to do things with me. The guy I love hates me guts and wants nothing to do with me. My parents just constantly put pressure on me. I feel like I'm just spiralling into deep depression. How do I stop it before it gets worse? What do you do when your having these terrible times when you feel like the world is crashing before you. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Be strong, find those things where you can gain some benefit and remain non-controversial at this moment. Maybe after some time you can do whatever you would like to, there will be no one to stop you. Link to post Share on other sites
Boomshine Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Hey guys I feel like my life is falling apart. My work friends who used to keep me some what distracted have now found new jobs, moved away. Everyone's too busy to talk and to do things with me. The guy I love hates me guts and wants nothing to do with me. My parents just constantly put pressure on me. I feel like I'm just spiralling into deep depression. How do I stop it before it gets worse? What do you do when your having these terrible times when you feel like the world is crashing before you. In a single word: passions. You need activities in your life that you're incredibly passionate about. Ones that don't require the presence of a significant other. You need things that define who you are as a strong, unique individual, and to maintain having passions indefinitely throughout your life. EVEN while in a relationship. Too many people put their life on the wayside when in a relationship, and rely on the significant other to be their sole source of happiness. Then after a breakup, they're left with nothing. I did the very same thing, and since that breakup 2.5 years ago, I've done everything I could to reclaim my life. I've been playing sports, musical instruments (was even in a band for the first time!), cooking, video games, amateur relationship/dating/life/breakup coaching, and I'm still looking for more! But the biggest key here is to find things you can TRULY invest yourself in. Things that you don't just simply do to pass the time, but that you're so passionate about, that when not doing the particular activity, you're spending free time learning other ways to be better, or even studying how professionals do that activity. If you sign up for a photography class, but the only time you do anything photography related in when you're in the class, that makes it more of a hobby or pastime. But when you're sitting at home bored, and you start watching Youtube videos or reading articles on how to perfect techniques, learn new techniques, learn about different equipment you could use, going to photography exhibits around town, etc., that's the sign of a passion. To use a specific example for myself, one of my passions is League of Legends. But I don't simply just play the game. I'll spend time outside of the game reading guides, learning strategies, watching funny Youtube videos about the game, and watching professionals play (the World Championships are currently happening). The key question to ask yourself to find out if something is a passion or not is "Am I working to become better at this?" If so, then you've found yourself a passion! The other big thing to remember here is that you may not feel that passionate drive for something on the first attempt or two at it. Your goal here is to find activities to boost your confidence. But confidence comes with practice. Confidence comes from a sense of deeper understanding of a skill. And repetition is the mother of skill. So the idea is to find things that you enjoy to an extent, and to keep going with them to see how much more invested you become. Which, in a sense, is very similar to dating. You don't fall in love at first sight. There may be a sense of infatuation in the beginning, but LOVE does not come for a couple months down the road at least. The same may be very true here with finding a passion. If you already have any passions (currently or from the past), I'd highly suggest delving back into them again. Any sports, musical instruments, or artistic endeavors (painting, photography, acting, pottery, etc.), get back into them and give them another go! Give this a shot, and after a month, take a look back and see how you feel compared to right now. Cheers, Boom 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Boom pretty much covered the main part of it. In addition to keeping busy, make sure that regular exercise is part of your routine. Cue up some motivating music and get exercising. It will boost your mood and help you think positively, and will help you sleep (which will also boost your mood). Link to post Share on other sites
Author FailedFirstLove Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 Feeling like I'm a. D. D. I do somethjnf for a little while But then it gets boring. I can't be distracted for long. I'm trying to find little things to do all the time. His always on my mind.... Then I get anxious and it's all down to hell. The only thing I found that calms me is looking at what to get. Him for christmas and making him stuff. Yeah that's poison in disguise but I can't help it Link to post Share on other sites
Boomshine Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Boom pretty much covered the main part of it. In addition to keeping busy, make sure that regular exercise is part of your routine. Cue up some motivating music and get exercising. It will boost your mood and help you think positively, and will help you sleep (which will also boost your mood). DUH! How could I have overlooked that?! Yes, of course, exercise is HUGE in this. Go break a sweat on the regular. That endorphin rush you get will boost you RIGHT back up to where you should be as well. And who knows, maybe exercise even becomes one of those passions I was talking about! Feeling like I'm a. D. D. I do somethjnf for a little while But then it gets boring. I can't be distracted for long. I'm trying to find little things to do all the time. His always on my mind.... Then I get anxious and it's all down to hell. The only thing I found that calms me is looking at what to get. Him for christmas and making him stuff. Yeah that's poison in disguise but I can't help it D.D.? I understand how tough it is to get out there and find those passions. But let me tell you this: Once you find the first, the rest will come significantly easier. And don't be afraid to go off the walls with what you try. This article may also help in your endeavors: Find Your Passion With These 8 Thought-Provoking Questions | Co.Design | business + design But remember, don't let "failure" get you down. If something doesn't really ring a bell for you, that's STILL figuring out who you are, in that you're figuring out who you AREN'T. Equally important to know both. Also, please watch this. Watch this as many times as necessary to really absorb it into you: "Sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn." Link to post Share on other sites
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