Justsimplyliving Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Alright really need some advice here. We broke up about 2 months ago, since then have not talked to her at all other than one phone call. Last week she began texting me roommate to get information about me if I have moved on if I am talking to someone new etc. She admitted to him she wanted to get back together with me and wanted to talk, I found out and called asking why she needs to be talking to my roommate. I went over there we talked she said she doesn't want me to be gone for her life and she still wants to be with me and has been a mess without me. This was late at night so we agreed to talk about it in the coming days, Saturday night she began texting me I asked if I was coming over she said idk and I started NC again and we haven't talked for days. I don't understand she flat out said I want to be with you again but we need to talk first then when I tried to have the talk she wanted nothing to do with it. I really just want to go there and be like we are either talking right now or I don't think we should ever talk again, you have been playing these minds games and it is immature if you have something legitimate to say, say it if not please leave both my roommate and I alone. Is that acceptable? I just want some closure because I do feel she is going to be getting a hold of me in the near future. Or I could just text her and say Hey you said all these things said you wanted to talk, if you do not want to talk please just leave me alone from now on then block her number? Are these acceptable I just need some legit closure since I was fine during NC for that 2 months then she started all this again. Need some opinions I was damn near over her before she started saying all this!! Link to post Share on other sites
Phenomena Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 If she left you once, she'll leave you again. Why do youc are if she wants to be back with you? Do you like a girlfriend who'll break up every few months and come back again? Don't give her the attention. All you actually did right now is make her feel extremely powerful. Now she knows that she has you by your balls and she just has to wave a finger at you to make you spam her whether she possibly wants to be with you again. Ignore her and leave it at that. Save yourself the "GTFO" speech. Let her text your room mate all she wants, just don't give her any attention and find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justsimplyliving Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 She has only broken up with me once, thats why and I broke up with her once to. I am just thinking of why I broke up with her the first time it was because I thought there was someone better out there for me and there wasn't and after we got back together after that break up things could never have been better. If I deserved a second chance why doesn't she? But you are right I gave her power by going over there unfortunately, I had the power when she was texting him. Link to post Share on other sites
tim_tom Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Alright really need some advice here. We broke up about 2 months ago, since then have not talked to her at all other than one phone call. Last week she began texting me roommate to get information about me if I have moved on if I am talking to someone new etc. She admitted to him she wanted to get back together with me and wanted to talk, I found out and called asking why she needs to be talking to my roommate. I went over there we talked she said she doesn't want me to be gone for her life and she still wants to be with me and has been a mess without me. This was late at night so we agreed to talk about it in the coming days, Saturday night she began texting me I asked if I was coming over she said idk and I started NC again and we haven't talked for days. I don't understand she flat out said I want to be with you again but we need to talk first then when I tried to have the talk she wanted nothing to do with it. I really just want to go there and be like we are either talking right now or I don't think we should ever talk again, you have been playing these minds games and it is immature if you have something legitimate to say, say it if not please leave both my roommate and I alone. Is that acceptable? I just want some closure because I do feel she is going to be getting a hold of me in the near future. Or I could just text her and say Hey you said all these things said you wanted to talk, if you do not want to talk please just leave me alone from now on then block her number? Are these acceptable I just need some legit closure since I was fine during NC for that 2 months then she started all this again. Need some opinions I was damn near over her before she started saying all this!! Similar just happened to me. They tug on the leash every once in awhile to make sure you are still there. Whether it's for an ego boost, or having you as a fallback option, or just wanting to make sure you aren't doing good without her, I am not sure. But this theme repeats itself over and over. I thought I had read and learned enough to allow logic to overpower emotion. But I didn't, and you probably won't either. The reality is that it's cruel and causes the person that was dumped to have a setback. I had a major one, ignored the phone/text contact attempts, but started getting sad and questioning my decision to ignore. Then i saw her monday and completely fell apart making an ass out of myself. She hooked me in, and then stopped responding cold like I no longer existed. Just as everyone on here said she would. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justsimplyliving Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 I just commented on your post as well. Its just very strange just straight up to my face said I want to be with you, I cannot have you out of my life. But when the time came to fix things she was gone again. Shes more of a mess then me thats for sure all her friends have told me that. The difference is I will not fall for it again when she calls going I am ready to talk my response will be there isnt anything to talk about anymore. I want to go over get my house key drop her stuff on the ground and walk out without anything being said. When I went over I didnt fall apart in anyway so atleast I never made myself look weak other than giving her the time of day. What did yours do to you to pull you back in? Link to post Share on other sites
tim_tom Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I just commented on your post as well. Its just very strange just straight up to my face said I want to be with you, I cannot have you out of my life. But when the time came to fix things she was gone again. Shes more of a mess then me thats for sure all her friends have told me that. The difference is I will not fall for it again when she calls going I am ready to talk my response will be there isnt anything to talk about anymore. I want to go over get my house key drop her stuff on the ground and walk out without anything being said. When I went over I didnt fall apart in anyway so atleast I never made myself look weak other than giving her the time of day. What did yours do to you to pull you back in? I was ignoring her texts, then she wanted to meet for lunch.. ignored. Then i got a text/call bomb with 20 attempted contacts in a row.. Why am I making her suffer, I miss you, I want to see you. Please talk to me. blah blah.. Ignored them as well. Then she came over to get her stuff, and I folded like a cheap suit when I saw her. She also showed up with a guy, who she claims is just a friend who is married. (He did have a wedding ring though, but who knows). But not knowing originally I kind of lost my mind and it went all downhill from there So, the end result... Not only did i set myself back, but I gave her a huge ego boost and let her know I was still waiting here like a puppy (also ruining chances of getting her back). Tbh, I am 95% certain I don't want her back, but I want her to want me back.. if that makes sense.. Either way, that last bit might be more relevant to you... getting sucked into chasing only lowers your chances of getting her back Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justsimplyliving Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 I know exactly what you mean. I did it I ignored her for like 2 months I regret going over there last Friday because it made me seem like I was sitting there waiting it wont happen again I feel like I still played it well because once she didnt want to talk I started ignoring her again. And yeah you want her to want you so when it comes down to getting back together it is your choice if thats what you really want. And yeah I got her to admit she wanted me back and we kissed etc. I wont fall for it again if she wants me back she better crawl back and be on one knee because I will never fall for it again. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Stop falling for her crap. Go back to NC and stick to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justsimplyliving Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 Everyone said you dont have to be NC when they come back and say I want to be with you etc? So thats what I did I was perfectly fine when I was NC for the last months. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 You fell into her trap and gave her the ego boost. Nothing to do with her coming back or even wanting to be with you. She may have "felt" like she wanted you back at that point, but after speaking to you again and breaking NC, and with her realizing you will jump at any chance / breadcrumb to be with her, she lost interest and realized you're not a challenge and unable to move on from her. Lesson learned. There is nothing more to this than her ego being boosted and proving you still want her. Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Devil's advocate... She's scared to tell you how she feels. She ditched the second talk with an "I don't know". If I were you, I would have stated "I understand, let me know when you want to talk", and then continue to move on. I don't believe in ultimatums. Let a person live with their decisions, but never try to make it for them... Link to post Share on other sites
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