generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 So the story is we broke up just over twelve months ago and I spent that last year dating and self improving going to the gym 5 days a week focusing on my career. I have tried a few times to contact her with not much luck until recently when she sent me a few flirty snap chats of her face. and sent me a text, So we have been texting for the last few days a few back and forth and she has been making the majority of the conversation even when i don't ask a question back she will continue the conversation ask me a new question. I ended up saying lets catch up for a coffee, so we are getting coffee in about an hour. she said "i have been doing a long distance relationship with ....... though so its just a catch up" She is back with her ex and i am seeing a new girl but why would she text me and start snap chatting me at all? I have tried to catch up with her before and she has never responded. How do i play it? i would love to be with her again but do i tell her this or play it cool what do i do. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Well, you need to let the new girl loose. It's not fair of you to be dating someone else if you are going to try to woo back your ex. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Play what? She says she's with another guy. Why in the world are you having this coffee? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 well part of the reason is for closure i guess i never really got a reason as to why she left and to see for myself if i actually still like her or if I just like the idea of her. But if I do decide I still have feelings for her than what? why would she start sending me pictures and texting me again? Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 We will be here when you get back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 You've done all the right things, well except for staying in contact. Why in the world would you risk all this hard work, not to mention a new GF? What in the hell are you thinking? What do you hope to achieve? A doomed RS with someone who already left you once? Skip this meeting. It's a bad idea!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 You've done all the right things, well except for staying in contact. Why in the world would you risk all this hard work, not to mention a new GF? What in the hell are you thinking? What do you hope to achieve? A doomed RS with someone who already left you once? Skip this meeting. It's a bad idea!! it probably is a bad idea i'll give you that, but I think i just need to see for myself what she has to say if anything at all and than move on, I could be risking a new girlfriend but i'm not as attached to her as i should be i don't think. I dont know. I really just want to know her motive for texting me again its strange, there is a few photos of me and the new girl on facebook maybe she found them some how Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 If my ex did that with me i might cave right now, but that's only because I don't have someone else and it hasn't been that long. With you, you've done great and it's been a long time and she is seeing someone else and so are you. What you are doing is foolish because you still have feelings for her. You would love to be back with her. You do it, maybe, if you and your ex are in fully committed relationships and are over each other with no romantic feelings and you really think you both have something to offer each other in friendship. DON'T DO IT! but I have a feeling you are, so best of luck and let us know what happens Link to post Share on other sites
Lingo1 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I am wishing u the best its hard what you are doing , we will be here to see how it goes come on guys dont be so harsh on him hes doing it for closure :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 it probably is a bad idea i'll give you that, but I think i just need to see for myself what she has to say if anything at all and than move on, I could be risking a new girlfriend but i'm not as attached to her as i should be i don't think. I dont know. I really just want to know her motive for texting me again its strange, there is a few photos of me and the new girl on facebook maybe she found them some how you are way overthinking it. I can tell you with 99.9% certainty what her motive is: she is feeling a little bit guilty about dumping you and wants to ease her guilt by seeing that you are okay and not mad at her. girls hate the thought that there is someone out there who hates them. she might also be a little bit curious about how you are and where you are at with you life now. that's it! nothing more! she has no interest in reconciling, or asking for another chance! and if you go to the meeting with the idea that it is about getting back together then you are going to get really hurt when you find out that all she wanted to do was say Hi and shoot the breeze for 20 minutes before dispappearing from your life again! Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 it probably is a bad idea i'll give you that, but I think i just need to see for myself what she has to say if anything at all and than move on, I could be risking a new girlfriend but i'm not as attached to her as i should be i don't think. I dont know. I really just want to know her motive for texting me again its strange, there is a few photos of me and the new girl on facebook maybe she found them some how If she did, then that is even a worse reason for her to want to see you. She may be a bit jealous. Who knows. since she is texting, can't you just keep it to that and try to ask your questions or even a call? I just think seeing her is a terrible idea. I would rather talk by phone with my ex than see her again. that would be difficult and really set me back further. I think you should call it off and cut off contact, but i can sense that is hard now for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 you are way overthinking it. I can tell you with 99.9% certainty what her motive is: she is feeling a little bit guilty about dumping you and wants to ease her guilt by seeing that you are okay and not mad at her. girls hate the thought that there is someone out there who hates them. she might also be a little bit curious about how you are and where you are at with you life now. that's it! nothing more! she has no interest in reconciling, or asking for another chance! and if you go to the meeting with the idea that it is about getting back together then you are going to get really hurt when you find out that all she wanted to do was say Hi and shoot the breeze for 20 minutes before dispappearing from your life again! I know for her it isn't about getting back together at all, but this person broke up with me over the phone and never spoke to me again, i have obviously forgiven her not for her but for myself but i would like the chance to see her again and decide for myself if i just have her on a pedistal because she is the one that got away or if i actually don't want anything to do with her again. But i guess we will find out. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 This meeting will be a waste of time. Ditch her, she didn't even have the decency to tell you in person and disappeared on your right after she did it. She doesn't deserve an ego boost, especially since she has a bf as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 This meeting will be a waste of time. Ditch her, she didn't even have the decency to tell you in person and disappeared on your right after she did it. She doesn't deserve an ego boost, especially since she has a bf as well. I certainly wouldnt waste my time by meeting up to say 'hi' with any girl who dumped me. she dumped me, she chose to not have me in her life anymore, I respect that and have to live with that. but she is absolutely delusional if she thinks that I would agree to meet up for coffee with her and shoot the breeze and give her an ego-boost. if the OP agrees to the meetup all he is doing is showing her that she can still get to him and still get a reaction out of him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 quite honestly if nothing else comes from meeting with her I actually would be happy walking away knowing she has seen the person i have become and not the person she left 12 months ago. in the last 12 months, I am the fittest i have ever been, gone over seas 5 times, got my dream job ( when she left me i was earning no money and i kept telling her not long now) psyced on life and just enjoy every minute of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lingo1 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 quite honestly if nothing else comes from meeting with her I actually would be happy walking away knowing she has seen the person i have become and not the person she left 12 months ago. in the last 12 months, I am the fittest i have ever been, gone over seas 5 times, got my dream job ( when she left me i was earning no money and i kept telling her not long now) psyced on life and just enjoy every minute of it. Good me and u think alike i dont care about see how ,giving the person satisfaction, or all that crap at the end of the day she will see u can live without her and thats what might hurt her the most which im pretty sure u were begging in the beginning u have a good mindset Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Good me and u think alike i dont care about see how ,giving the person satisfaction, or all that crap at the end of the day she will see u can live without her and thats what might hurt her the most which im pretty sure u were begging in the beginning u have a good mindset no he doesn't have a good mindset. He's trying to convince himself because of the feedback he is getting on here about how he shouldn't go. He originally said this in his first post, " i would love to be with her again but do i tell her this or play it cool what do i do. " This is how he feels. He still wants to be with her. He wants to go there and hope she approves of the new him and he wants her to ask him to be back with her, which she is not going to do and if she did, it would be for all the wrong reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lingo1 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 no he doesn't have a good mindset. He's trying to convince himself because of the feedback he is getting on here about how he shouldn't go. He originally said this in his first post, " i would love to be with her again but do i tell her this or play it cool what do i do. " This is how he feels. He still wants to be with her. He wants to go there and hope she approves of the new him and he wants her to ask him to be back with her, which she is not going to do and if she did, it would be for all the wrong reasons. o well if he thinks that it won't happen :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I am wishing u the best its hard what you are doing , we will be here to see how it goes come on guys dont be so harsh on him hes doing it for closure :laugh: That's a reason to be hard on him. Closure comes from within. Either way, its a sh--ty idea but he's hell-bent on doing it it seems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lingo1 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 That's a reason to be hard on him. Closure comes from within. Either way, its a sh--ty idea but he's hell-bent on doing it it seems. Can't stop him let him see what happens even though we most likely will be right lol but if he wants to let him do it Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 How did the meeting go? How much time did she spend talking about herself and her boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 How did the meeting go? How much time did she spend talking about herself and her boyfriend? The coffee went really good, went for about an hour, we didnt talk about her boyfriend at all and i didnt bring it up, she did how ever ask about the girl i have been seeing and bring up that i deleted all her photos off facebook. she was still wearing the gold anklet i bought her as well and was asking a lot of questions. I think i actually feel better after having the coffee than i did before. I asked what happens after this we just stop talking again (jokingly) and she asked if i wanted to see her again? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 The coffee went really good, went for about an hour, we didnt talk about her boyfriend at all and i didnt bring it up, she did how ever ask about the girl i have been seeing and bring up that i deleted all her photos off facebook. she was still wearing the gold anklet i bought her as well and was asking a lot of questions. I think i actually feel better after having the coffee than i did before. I asked what happens after this we just stop talking again (jokingly) and she asked if i wanted to see her again? Not try to be a male member, but what purpose did that serve? Honestly, you guys going to be friends? BFF? You're cool with hearing about her now new guy and her are doing? You are cool with her possibly getting married one day? Thats what friends do...when two ex's decide to become friends, someone always gets hurt in the end. You said you wanted "closure" but yet you guys are talking about hanging out again....lol okay. Honestly, its not fair to your new girl and her ex. Actually, I pity them. Your new girl you are seeing knew about this? Her ex knew about that meeting? I've seen this WAY too many times on here. I smell something fishy Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 You need to have the talk, immediately. As in "It was amazing seeing you but it made me realize we can't just be friends. I know we're both with people, so I think we need to make the decision to either cut this off or try and make it work. I understand either way". Or else you're going to lose both. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author generic person Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 Not try to be a male member, but what purpose did that serve? Honestly, you guys going to be friends? BFF? You're cool with hearing about her now new guy and her are doing? You are cool with her possibly getting married one day? Thats what friends do...when two ex's decide to become friends, someone always gets hurt in the end. You said you wanted "closure" but yet you guys are talking about hanging out again....lol okay. Honestly, its not fair to your new girl and her ex. Actually, I pity them. Your new girl you are seeing knew about this? Her ex knew about that meeting? I've seen this WAY too many times on here. I smell something fishy What do you mean you smell something fishy? i told the girl i have been dating that i was going to get coffee with my ex Link to post Share on other sites
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