Dork Vader Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 If you read any of my post you know that my ex was a horrible girl friend. That said I have heard from 2 people that she is basically lying to her friends about what happened. She has made me look like a real douche when the truth is I was not. I've been debating contacting them and telling them what really happened. I have no doubt most will side with her and write me off as crazy. We are from a small town. So gossip travels quick. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 I regret that I have not read your previous posts on the matter. But I will have this to say about your ex and you and how you will handle it... Whatever it is that she is saying about you to others, do not mention her to others. I don't know how old either one of you are, but it really does not change no matter what age you do or do not say. "We are no longer together, things did not work. I wish her well." END OF STORY. They will look like hysterical fools to others if they do nothing but bad mouth others, or if they cause troubles. You move on. You have class when the other does not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Justletgo Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 If anyone spreads bad propaganda about you and you do not counter this, they will be inclined to believe it. I have witnessed this many times. Put the effort in to tell them your side of the story and keep it as simple and angerless as you can IF you care about what these people might think of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 If she is that horrible of a person then they know not to believe everything she says. Don't get involved. Who cares what she says about you! The most important people in your life know your side of the story and that's it. 1st it's no one's business what happened between you 2. Why would you start going around telling people about your personal stuff? 2nd, what ever you say she will come back with a counter story, when is this all gonna end? Go on with your life, this should be going way above your head. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Its not that rare for a ex to do this especially if they are a bit of a drama queen/over emotional/bitch type. Sometimes you get demonized by women who are not quite that way normally just as their way of dealing with the breakup by over negativizing you, so they will feel so much better off without you. I'm going against G's advice here and say try to do your best for damage control by getting your side of the story out and don't hold back on letting people know how horrible your ex was and don't be afraid to embellish since it seems she is outright lying. Right or wrong that's what I would do. It depends what people she is telling and whether you care about their opinion. I feel staying silent lets people assume she is telling the truth. I've seen this happen too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 I don't particularly care but this kind of thing can negatively impact my ability to date. It also is going to negatively impact my business. I'm tore on it.. On one hand you'd think these people would wise up. On the other some of them are just as screwed up as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused8 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 If you read any of my post you know that my ex was a horrible girl friend. That said I have heard from 2 people that she is basically lying to her friends about what happened. She has made me look like a real douche when the truth is I was not. I've been debating contacting them and telling them what really happened. I have no doubt most will side with her and write me off as crazy. We are from a small town. So gossip travels quick. Don't contact the ex. She's an ex and everyone assumes that a jaded ex's stories are going to be 90% inflated/half true/false. If you know the other friends who have heard the rumours, sure, contact them. Don't let on anything about what you might "know;" just ask if they've heard anything that they'd like your perspective on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 I don't know that I'm even going to do that now. I'm tempted too. But honestly what good will it do? I doubt any of them will believe me... There are two I'm debating contacting possibly 3. One we frequently hung out with. Two would be one of her best friends. This is the spouse of one of the guys she was sexting. Third is her coworker. Who she talked to frequently about me and she told me he was not fond of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 if people believe what she says without first asking you for your side of the story then they arent very good friends and you are better off without them in your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Call an attorney and spend $100 for him to make a 5 minute phone call and explain to her what he will do if you have to call him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Wings Of Love Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 My ex dumped me, and then promptly told everyone that I was suicidal and had tried to kill myself multiple times and he couldn't handle it any more. I'm not, nor have ever been suicidal. His disgusting lies made me feel awful, but I realise now that it doesn't matter. I know the truth and the people that matter know the truth too. And the fact that I'm clearly getting on with my life, and am happy is enough to prove that he's a liar. Don't bother contacting them. If people are stupid enough to believe her lies, you don't need them in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I don't know that I'm even going to do that now. I'm tempted too. But honestly what good will it do? I doubt any of them will believe me... Chances are they don't believe her all-too much either; except for a few brain-dead dorks of course who never question anything, but these aren't worth it anyway. Just ignore it and walk away. What to expect from a girl who is sexting her friends' spouse anyway? Hold your head high and in the end you will know "Well, it wasn't me having the problem!" (Worked like that for me by the way; I let them talk and these days I walk past with an amused smile, say a polite "Hello" and they run like a hare from the hound. Or bend their necks in a comical manner to act like the didn't see me. ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 I already regret telling her why I ended things. I'm sure I'd regret telling her friends what really happened. I wish I had just told her I don't see this going any place. then let her hound me as to why. I know her guilt would have been the motive behind it. Deep down I think her friends know. But they are trying to be supportive of their "friend" which is sad. I heard her friends tell her numerous times don't "f this up he seems like a great guy and is very understanding" I might tell her parents as I have some concern for her. She is going to end up in some serious trouble again. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Contacting her friends is a bad idea & calling her parents is a REALLY bad idea. It will come off as you not being able to let go and, depending on what she has told them, may give credence to her story. Walk away. Be the person that you want people to know you are. What they chose to believe is up to them. Link to post Share on other sites
confused40426 Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Don't do it. If you go contacting all of her friends, or parents, she'll likely slap a restraining order on you. Major headache. Move on. Who cares what they think? Link to post Share on other sites
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