zhaulk Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I don't want to make a super long post, so I'm going to summarize as best as I can with some points: -We were together 2 years -I got dumped 5 months ago -I was devastated -We got back together briefly 4 months ago, then we broke up again -I've been in limited contact for 2 months, full no contact for 1 month -I'm doing pretty well with everything But one stop sign is in my mind. Right before we stopped talking completely, I told her that I had to tell her something. I told her that in the beginning of our relationship she was a rebound, but that I developed feelings for her and fell in love. In truth I think I told her this because I wanted her to hurt like I did. I regret telling her this and I don't really even think it was true. Naturally this made her very angry, and I talked to her later, she told me that nothing mattered because "she was just a rebound anyway". Things kind of calmed down before we stopped talking, but I feel like she holds a grudge. This has bothered me since I told her. I really wish I could go back and not say it. It doesn't matter, but I worry that she will always think of me negatively because of this, and it's hard for me to let go because I keep thinking I should tell her the truth. How can I let go of this feeling? It really bothers me Link to post Share on other sites
Requiem4Dreams Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Let it go. You can't change what's been said. It is done, and over. Move on, take the guilt, but do not contact her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zhaulk Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 Is it really so bad? I know it doesn't matter but I like to think it's something she should forget about. I just don't want her to go on hating me for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Requiem4Dreams Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 You just answered your own question. It doesn't really matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Is it really so bad? I know it doesn't matter but I like to think it's something she should forget about. I just don't want her to go on hating me for it. Let it go man. What's done is done. It's time for you to move forward -- you need to stop circling back and inventing excuses to not recover from this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zhaulk Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 Thanks guys. You're right, it is an excuse to hang on. It doesn't matter. She's said and done far worse things to me that I have let go of. No reason to feel guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Since you talked to her after saying this to her, did you evern tell her the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
Rick_B Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I don't even understand the issue here. What is a rebound anyway ? It just means the person you dated after the breakup go a long relationship. It's the same as any relationship with the same chance of success - except when it fails we call it a rebound like it was doomed from the beginning. The fact that you were together for more than a year tells me that it wasn't any different than any other short relationship. I understand that sometimes you can "use" another person to get your ego back on track but I hardly think that that takes over a year. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zhaulk Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 I know Rick_B. I think I was just over thinking it. Mary Oak, I never did. Haven't had more than a two minute conversation with her in two months and I plan to keep it that way now. I'm feeling much better. Sometimes I just need to vent on these forums. Link to post Share on other sites
W101 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I'm sure she remembers and treasures far more lovely memories, because, c'mon, you saying she was a rebound a long time a go was really the only aspect of your relationship wasn't it? *sarcasm intended*, I'm sure there's things she said that she regrets, that's the nature of relationships I'm afraid, I'm sure it's niggling at you and eating you up inside, let it pass, it's in the past. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zhaulk Posted September 8, 2014 Author Share Posted September 8, 2014 I went to a party last night with a friend, and the ex wasn't there...but everyone kept talking to me about her and telling me we were meant for each other and that we will get back together. I kept telling them I don't want to talk about it and that we aren't going to get back together..the whole night was ruined, and I woke up today in a terrible mood. I really wish people could understand you don't want to talk about your ex. I feel miserable today and I can't quit thinking about her. Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 well, i went places peeps didn't know me and tried to get back into my life again. since i am not a vengeful person, let alone hard to get angry, I focused my hurt into anger, and took it out on pool. Well mostly when I was on the table alone. you would not believe how my breaks were when I focused my anger at the cue ball. also got knarly english as well. There is other ways to vent your anger, and you may know of interests that allow some physical contact to use in releasing it. remember, hurt holds you back, anger moves you forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 If you told them not too, and they kept talking, that's pretty rude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 After more time will pas youl find these kind of situations funny. You weren't meant to be together. Its better this way in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
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