He contacted me after a month of NC and got mad when I refused to be his friend

[Wimenknow79]

So a month ago I and he had a big fight over a girl he ended up dumping me for. It was messy, aweful, and hurtful. My last words to him were I'm sorry, I love you, I want you to be happy, I wish you well, and hope everything works out for you. Good bye. I didn't talk to him since. It hurt. It was hard. Here is my thread on what happened.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/484166-heartbroken-s-really-over-i-m-lost

 

I changed my phone number. After that he blocked me on fb and I don't message him on fb ever.

 

Last week on a dating site he knows I'm on he messages me hey what's up. I didn't respond. His profile mirrored what I was looking for. 2 days later I got another message and it said guess your still mad at me. The next day he messaged me on another dating site found you again. I didn't respond but looked at his profile. He saw I looked then messaged your really going to visit me but bit say anything. So I finally replied what do you want from me. He said wow you must really hate me. I asked him how did he really see this conversation going. He said he didn't want to relive the past and wanted to be friends. He tried to down play everything and pretend nothing happened. I told him we didn't get along well enough. He said he didn't understand why I wouldn't be his friend. He tried to make excuses why he broke it off. I told him I am who I am. I haven't changed. I'm not going to change. I'm not going to apologize. Apparently I say all the wrong things in all the wrong moments and do all the wrong things in all the wrong moments. I make bad choices. I've accepted who I am. I'll never be what he wants me to be. I told him not to even bother.

 

He got mad and then gave me another reason why he broke up with me then said he just wanted to be friends but I want to live in the past and said bye forever. Then he messaged me 5 minutes later and told me I saw myself as perfect and I was always why my relationships fail and I always blamed it on the other person. He said that I was unreal and that conversation was a waste of his time and told me goodbye again. Then he messaged me and said he wasn't there to chase me again and I was full of myself on that one. I finally told him yup that's me. I'm everything you said. I agree. Have a nice life.

 

What is wrong with him. I know that other girl dumped him but why come to me and blame everything on me while trying to talk to me again. It's stupid. I don't want to be his friend. He hurt me. What does he want from me and why did he want to be friends so bad. I'm in nc again.

[Chi townD]

Yep, just ignore him. He's butt hurt that the girl he valued more than you dumped him. Now, he came sniffing around and you snuffed him out.

 

 

The fact is, he made the choice to have you out of his life. You're just giving him exactly what he asked for. Now, he's having a change of heart. Not your problem. Pretty sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with him for the end result being that you are nothing more than a friend to him.

 

 

I would suggest just getting off those dating sites all together. I would also suggest that you find a hobby that you would enjoy. Most of those hobbies have clubs in your area with people that have the same interests. Join them! You'll have a better opportunity meet someone you'll like better than you would through a dating site. SO, join a running club or a cycling club or co-ed sports or community theater. You'll never know who you'll meet there!

[mightycpa]

If he contacts you again, just say "Look, Bruno, I didn't want to hurt your feeling before, but you keep asking me, so I'm going to tell you. I don't want to be friends because you're too needy. I hate to be the one to say it, but you wanted to know. Happy now? Good luck."

 

That said, you're going to have to stop checking his profiles, posts or whatever.